


Karma In Retrograde

by RecklessWriter



Category: Naruto
Genre: And Also A Good Slap, Friendship, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sasuke loves his brother, Team Dynamics, Time Travel, Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, and no one else, not necessarily in that order, this will change eventually (hopefully)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2019-10-04 21:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 48,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17312594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecklessWriter/pseuds/RecklessWriter
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is not a hero. If the Sage of Six Paths wanted someone to save the world, he should have chosen Naruto.On the verge of death and sent back four years, the only life Sasuke cares about saving is Itachi's. He doesn't give a damn about anyone else. But surrounded by the teammates he thought he cut from his heart, he finds turning a blind eye much harder than he thought it would be. Can he really stand by and watch them fall apart?Sasuke Uchiha is not a hero - but it doesn't look like he's getting much of a choice.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, ANOTHER time travel fic. But hopefully I can make this one different from the dozens of others :)
> 
> This starts during the war arc, when Sasuke is stabbed by Madara and meets the Sage of Six Paths. He and Naruto haven't had their final confrontation yet, so he's still pretty angry at Konoha.

“The elder brother, Indra, has reincarnated in you.”

Sasuke stood silent and still as the Sage of Six Paths spoke the words. Darkness surrounded him on all sides, cutting him off from a world where a war was currently waging. A world where he lay slowly bleeding out on the ground.

Sasuke had never believed in reincarnation—had never prescribed to the idea that life was everlasting. But the ring of truth in the old man's words was unmistakable; he felt it settle in his heart, certain to him in a way few things were.

“You don't seem surprised by this,” Hagoromo noted. “Perhaps you have sensed Indra's presence inside you already?”

Sasuke didn't respond. He didn't know why he so readily accepted the sage's words—especially when everything he was saying was so ludicrous. Perhaps he was right; perhaps Sasuke had sensed, subconsciously, Indra's presence within himself. He didn't know. All he knew was that the knowledge felt like a piece of him sliding into place—like a life-long question he hadn't even known he'd had finally being answered.

He let his silence speak for him, and Hagoromo nodded. “I thought as much. Then you must know already the reincarnate of the younger.”

Sasuke closed his eyes. He didn't need to hear the name; he felt it inside him already, with a cold, unshakable certainty.

“ _Naruto_ ,” he said, and the word felt like broken glass in his throat.

Sasuke didn't believe in destiny or past lives, couldn't explain any of the mystical nonsense the Sage of Six Paths was spouting—but he knew how he felt. Whether Hagoromo spoke true or not, a part of Sasuke had always felt connected to Naruto, in a way that went beyond their similar childhoods. An invisible thread had always connected them, from that first day they'd locked eyes at the Academy. Even now, after Sasuke's desertion of the village, that thread refused to break; it kept them tethered together, resisting all of Sasuke's attempts to sever it.

He had tried to cut his ties. To kill the feeling in his heart, as his brother had done. But Naruto Uzumaki had always been the one bond that refused to break.

 _Naruto_. His hands curled into fists, his teeth clenching. _Will I never be free of you?_

Anger simmered slowly in his chest. Everywhere he looked had always been Naruto—standing in front of him, blocking his path; smiling that smile that knew nothing of darkness, trying futilely to put back together a team that had never even worked right in the first place.

( _"Sasuke. If we fight each other... we'll both die."_ _)_

For so long, fighting Naruto had seemed like an inevitability—an eventuality both of them were slowly walking toward. But to know that their conflict was predetermined by something other than themselves… destiny dividing them, pulling their strings to play out the same story…

Sasuke recalled their fight at the Valley of the End, facing each other at the top of those two opposing statues. Something clicked in his head.

“There were other reincarnates,” he realized. “Before me and Naruto.”

Hagoromo inclined his head. “The first generation of reincarnates were Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha.”

As he expected. Sasuke thought about the battle between Madara and the First Hokage—their final clash in the place that had been built in their honor, echoed by Sasuke and Naruto's fight several generations later. He wondered, was that his and Naruto's future as well? Were they simply mirrors of different people from a different time, destined to play out the same story?

 _No_. The refusal rose up in him, determined and unyielding. He might be Indra's descendant, but he was no Madara. He refused to have his future be dictated by someone else's past.

 _I choose my own path_ , he thought. _No one else. I will put an end to this war. And then I will avenge my clan—avenge Itachi._

Hagoromo took note of the steely resolve in Sasuke's eyes, and he seemed pleased.

“It seems you have already accepted your role in bringing an end to this conflict. That is good. To preserve the future of all the Five Nations, my mother's plan cannot be allowed to come to fruition. This war must be stopped. But more than that, the shinobi world must change fundamentally in its ideals, otherwise history will continue to repeat itself. As reincarnates of both of my sons, only you and Naruto together are capable of dispelling the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Only together, can you restore the peace that has been long lost.”

Sasuke's mouth twisted slightly at the idea of working with Naruto, but he shoved it aside. He'd worked with the idiot before—he would do it again if it was truly necessary.

“What do I need to do?”

“There are two paths open to you,” the sage told him. “You could wait for your comrades to revive you, during which time I would imbue in you certain powers from a portion of Indra's chakra. Naruto would receive the same blessing. When you are released from here, you would have the power needed to stop the Infinite Tsukuyomi.”

Sasuke considered this. He was a bit wary about bolstering his own strength with someone else's power—but even he had to admit that he couldn't beat Madara at his current level. The man had shoved a _sword_ through his _chest_. He stood no chance as he was now.

He needed to live. If he died here, now, the truth would die with him. Itachi's honor would never be restored. The memory of his clan would fade, just another tragedy in Konoha's long, bloody history.

“What's the second option?” Sasuke asked.

“The second option is a bit more complicated. However, it would also give you a chance to prevent many of the casualties that have come to pass. Instead of you being revived where you are now, I could send you back.”

Sasuke’s eyebrows furrowed. “‘Back'? What do you mean?”

"I have spent generations here,” Hagoromo said, “wandering the world as little more than a ghost, slipping in and out of space. My manifestation in this world as a living form of chakra transforms time into something fluid. With Indra's chakra in you combined with mine, I would be able to manipulate it. To move you—or any other reincarnate—through the dimensions of space-time."

Sasuke stared at him, trying to grasp what he was saying. “You're talking about time travel,” he realized. “Such a thing is impossible.”

The sage looked amused. “Not too long ago, returning the dead to life was also thought to be impossible. Yet, Madara now lives, as alive as he ever was.”

Sasuke faltered slightly at this, and Hagoromo smiled thinly.

“Nothing is impossible,” he said. “There is simply no one alive who possesses the power and knowledge required.”

The Uchiha looked at him skeptically. “And you do?”

“I do.”

Sasuke resisted the urge to shake his head. He tried to grasp the possibility of what the Sage of Six Paths was telling him, but it was like trying to catch smoke in his hands. It wasn't as if time travel was something that had never been attempted before. Fuuinjutsu masters had been experimenting with seals and chakras for ages, but nothing had ever yielded any results. It just couldn't be done.

Yet, Hagoromo was right. Shinobi had once believed reviving the dead to be impossible as well. They'd been proven wrong there.

Sasuke stared at the sage and didn't dare let himself believe. But he couldn't help it; and beneath the skepticism, beneath the logic that rejected even the idea, a feeling began to grow hesitantly in his chest.

 _Hope_.

Sasuke shoved it back for now, not allowing himself to be taken in by it. “Say I believe you. How would it work, exactly? How far would I go back?”

“I am not sure,” Hagoromo admitted. “Understand, such a thing has never before been attempted. I cannot tell you the exact mechanics of it. It would be to sometime in your own lifetime, that I know. You would return in the body of your past self, and all of your memories and knowledge would be retained.”

Sasuke processed this, his lips twitching downwards. _Sometime in your own lifetime._ Which meant if he did it—if it _worked_ —he had no way of knowing how far he would go back. He could go back over a decade—save his parents, save his clan, save his brother. He could prevent all of that suffering. Or, he could end up going back not even as far as a year, and everyone would still be dead. Including Itachi.

 _Why am I even entertaining this?_ Sasuke thought. _It's ridiculous. I'd be crazy to believe even a word of it._

And yet, despite his refusal to let himself consider it, his mind was already racing with possibilities. If it worked— _if_ —then it wasn't guaranteed that he would go back far enough to stop the massacre. But it also wasn't guaranteed that he _wouldn't_. There was a chance he could save his parents—warn them about Danzo's plans and put an end to him before he could enact them.

He could save Itachi. All the pain his brother had been forced to endure… all the blood he'd stained his hands with… Sasuke could prevent that. Itachi wouldn't have to suffer.

It was stupid to believe it could ever be done. It was _crazy_. But even if there was just a _chance_ of saving his family… wasn't that enough?

“What is it you want me to do, anyway?” he demanded. “What do you get out of this?”

Hagoromo met his gaze. The swirling purple of his eyes was old and piercing. “My only goal is to bring about peace in this world. I believe this is one of the ways to best achieve that.”

Sasuke scoffed. “I’m not a savior. I don't care about peace.”

“I know,” the old sage agreed. His expression didn't change at all. “You are nothing new to me, Sasuke Uchiha. For generations have I watched as Indra's incarnations chose to fall into darkness. I have watched them turn from the light and take the same path of self-destruction—turning from those who care for them in order to sate their own self-interests. I see that same darkness now in you.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Then why? Why choose me when you already know how my story ends? You said you could move any reincarnate through time. Why me and not Naruto?”

“Naruto has his own path to walk. You have yours.”

Sasuke scowled. “That's not an answer.”

“We all have our parts to play. Only you can choose yours. What do you decide?”

Sasuke closed his eyes and actually imagined it—imagined turning back the years like they never happened, wiping the slate clean. He imagined washing his clan name of all the blood that had stained it for so long, bringing back the light to Itachi's cold, emotionless eyes.

Sasuke thought of his father; a rare look of pride in his eyes, and the way his voice had sounded when he finally said, _That's my boy._ He thought of his mother; the warmth in her face and in her smile, and the way her laugh sounded like wind chimes. He thought of his aunt and uncle smiling down at him, and Cousin Shisui ruffling his hair.

But most of all, he thought of Itachi.

He thought of Itachi at nine, eyes still bright with childhood innocence, and at eleven, standing behind him and teaching him to throw a shuriken. He remembered Itachi at thirteen with the blood of their clan staining his uniform, and at eighteen, staring at him with blood-red eyes and a cruel, cruel smile; Itachi at twenty-one on his back on the ground, staring up at the sky with sightless eyes.

He remembered his brother's skin cracked and crumbling away, and the sad smile on his face as he'd guided their foreheads together and promised, _I will love you always_.

The memory bright in his heart, Sasuke met Hagoromo's gaze—and made his decision.

“Send me back.”

The corner of the sage's mouth twitched, just barely. “Good. I was hoping that would be your choice.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the note of approval in his voice. “I'm not doing it for _you_ ,” he said sharply. “I'm doing it for me. For my clan.”  _For Itachi._

Hagoromo had the nerve to actually _smile_ at that—as if he were humoring a child. “I have seen your anger, young one. But I have also seen your conflict. You will find your way out of the dark. I believe this, even if you do not.”

Sasuke's mouth twisted in irritation. “You're a fool,” he spat.

“Perhaps,” he agreed. “We shall see.”

The sage brought up hand palm up. “Hold out your dominant hand. And brace yourself.”

With a cautious frown, Sasuke raised his left hand, palm outward. The Sage of Six Paths pressed their palms together.

It was like a surge of lightning going through him. It started where their hands met, then traveled through his entire body. Sasuke gasped, his vision going white.

The last thing he heard was the sage's voice, an edge of a warning slipping into his tone.

_Do not disappoint me, Sasuke Uchiha._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, Sasuke hasn't had his fight with Naruto at this point, so he doesn't realize all the mistakes he's made yet. He's talked to the previous hokage and no longer wants to destroy the ENTIRE village, but he still wants revenge on Danzo and the elders.
> 
> I think that's what makes this story a bit different from others where Sasuke time-travels. He isn't completely "redeemed" yet. He's still dealing with a lot of anger. Right now, his goals are pretty self-centered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 50 kudos already?? You guys are the best :)

Sasuke woke to his eyes burning, staring up at a familiar ceiling he hadn't seen in years.

His vision was blurred, and everything was tinted in red. There was a wetness in his eyes that he tried to blink away, but it only made the stinging worse. He felt dizzy and disoriented, the sage's voice still echoing loudly in his head.

_Do not disappoint me, Sasuke Uchiha._

He pushed himself into a sitting position, feeling something wet fall down his cheeks. He raised his hand to his face to touch under his eyes, and his fingers came back smeared in blood.

Sasuke frowned. The burning sensation in his eyes was dying down now, and he wiped the blood from his eyes so he could see clearly. Why the hell were they bleeding?

Sasuke shoved that question to the side for the moment. Everything he and the Sage of Six Paths had spoken of was still bright in his memory, and he looked around at the room he was in, his heart in his throat.

The lights were off, but the sun spilling in from the window allowed him to make out his surroundings. Sasuke's breath caught, his heart skipping. He hadn't seen the room in years, but he recognized it immediately.

There was a wide window to his left, curtains pulled back to let the sunlight shine in. Across from where he sat on the bed were the large glass doors that led out to the balcony. There were several hung scrolls on the wall, and the dresser was barren aside from a television that he never used. He spun around, and pinned on the wall behind him was the Uchiha clan symbol.

He was in his house. The one he'd lived in most of his life, that he hadn't been back to since he'd left the village over four years ago.

Sasuke stared down at the blanket gripped in his hands with wide eyes, not really seeing it. Hope was bursting in his chest, impossible to shut down. He was home. The sage had actually done it. Itachi was just down the hall from him. His parents were probably downstairs with breakfast—

Sasuke's eyes fell on the table beside his bed, and just like that, his hope _shattered_.

Sitting there, staring up at him mockingly, was his forehead protector—the headband he'd gotten when he became a genin. Which meant he'd already graduated from the Academy. Which meant the massacre had already happened. Which meant his parents were already—

The realization left him hollow. Without fully realizing he was moving, he reached out with cold, numb fingers to pick up the headband. He stared down at it vacantly, running his fingers absently over the unblemished metal. The long scratch Naruto had put in it was absent.

He turned his head again to look at the bedside table. The photograph of Team Seven was also sitting on it; Naruto and Sasuke turned away from each other, Sakura smiling between them with Kakashi behind them. They all looked so carefree.

Staring at their young faces in the photo, a surge of anger rose up through the numbness in his chest. He stared at the photograph, his hands shaking. With a hoarse cry, he chucked the headband at it as hard as he could.

The frame fell from the table to the floor. It landed face-up, the glass cracked and splintered. Sasuke stared down at it, still shaking with rage.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't _fair_!

 _You knew that this might happen_ , he tried to tell himself. _You knew that it was a longshot_.

But it didn't matter. Because despite knowing, he had still let himself hope. He had let himself believe he could save his family, could see his parents again—and now his heart was punishing him for his stupidity. He should've known better. To actually let himself be taken in like that—he was a _fool_.

He curled his hands into fists and forced his rage down, forced himself to accept it. He was too late. He couldn't save his clan or his parents. He couldn't spare Itachi his suffering—

Sasuke's breath caught, his eyes widening as the realization struck him.

 _Itachi_.

His clan was dead, and so were his parents. Danzo's orders had already been carried out. He couldn't fix that, couldn't change it. But Itachi—

He'd woken up in Konoha. And his forehead protector didn't have a scratch on it. Which meant he and Naruto hadn't fought at the Valley of the End yet, and he hadn't deserted the village for Orochimaru.

Itachi was _alive_.

The dangerous feeling of hope was rising in his chest again, and hesitantly, Sasuke let himself feel it. He couldn't spare his brother his pain, couldn't stop him from soaking his hands in the blood of the people they loved. But he could still save his life. He was out there somewhere, infiltrating the ranks of the Akatsuki, playing the villain for the sake of Konoha. Sasuke could save him this time. He could bring his brother _home_.

Determination settled in his chest, steely and unshakable. Instead of the absence of his parents, his clan, he focused on Itachi. With this new purpose to drive him, he threw back his covers and stood up.

He immediately registered the feeling of being shorter than he was used to being. It was a strange sensation. He walked over to the small mirror on the right side of the room; the face of a twelve-year-old boy stared back at him.

It was so _weird_. Sasuke brought up a hand to touch his face, watching as the image in the mirror did the same. It had really worked. He was actually twelve again.

Sasuke's head spun. It was enough to make him feel dizzy.

He looked at his face in the mirror. It was smudged with the blood that had fallen from his eyes, red streaks trailing down his cheeks like tears. Sasuke frowned, stepping closer to get a better look. What had caused it? And the way his eyes had burned—it had felt familiar—

A suspicion took root in his mind. _Was it…?_

Sasuke activated his Sharingan. He watched in the mirror as his eyes flared bright red, then as the three tomoe came together to create a six-pointed star.

_The Mangekyou._

But how? He hadn't activated the Mangekyou yet—not in this body. He'd only gained it after killing Itachi. If he'd truly gone back in time, it didn't make sense for him to have it now.

Except… did it? The Sharingan wasn't just a physical manifestation—it was mental. Tobirama had told him, hadn't he? The eyes that reflect the heart, he had called it.

_When an Uchiha experiences the loss of a great love, or despair at who he has become, a special chakra flows through his brain, causing his nerves to respond and his eyes to be altered._

Those experiences—the trauma that had unlocked his Sharingan for the first time that night—still remained with him. It was tied to the mind, not the body. And the Mangekyou—it was activated by the memory of killing your most precious person. Sasuke might not have killed his brother yet, but he still _remembered_ it. That memory of grief, of guilt, had allowed the Mangekyou to awaken.

Sasuke deactivated the doujutsu. _Huh_. So he had the Mangekyou already. That would be useful.

Sasuke pulled down the collar of his shirt, baring his neck in the mirror. He ran his fingers over the unblemished skin. _No curse mark._ So he hadn't met Orochimaru yet. But he had his Sharingan, which meant the mission to Wave Country had already happened. The Third Hokage was still alive—which meant he had a few months before Itachi would show up in Konoha again.

 _Dammit_. Sasuke had no idea where his brother would be now. At this point in time, the village didn't even know about the Akatsuki.

Then again, it's not like he could bring Itachi back to the village, anyway. He was a traitor to the Leaf—and a mass-murderer. If Sasuke wanted his brother back, he would have to expose Danzo first.

 _Danzo_. A surge of white-hot rage exploded in his chest at the reminder that the bastard was still alive during this time. And that Sasuke couldn't kill him—not yet, at least.

That was going to be difficult.

Sasuke tampered down on his anger and turned away from the mirror, heading toward his door. He exited his room and into the hallway (stopping in the bathroom to clean the blood off his face), and was going to go down the stairs when he passed the closed door of Itachi's room. He paused in front of it.

After the massacre, he had refused to go into his brother's room. It had been hard enough living in the house where his parents had been murdered; the thought of going into Itachi's room had been unbearable. For the five years he'd lived here after the massacre, the door had remained closed.

Sasuke stepped toward it now, and reached out with a shaky hand for the doorknob. The metal was cold against his skin, and Sasuke stared at it, willing himself to turn the knob and push it open.

He didn't. His chest painfully tight, he dropped his hand and turned back to the stairs.

It had been four years since he'd set foot in this house; he half expected to find everything downstairs covered in dust. But it wasn't. Sasuke stepped into the main part of the house to find it exactly as he left it. His shoes were on the mat by the door and his jacket on a hook on the wall; in the kitchen, Sasuke could spot his ninja tools laid out on the table and a few dishes in the sink. The house was empty and cold, but it was still undeniably lived in.

Sasuke crossed the main room of the house, trailing his fingers over the wall as he walked. The floorboards creaked under his feet as he walked down the hall, and he stopped in front of two large wooden doors. Sasuke placed his hands on the metal handles to pull them open, and remembered doing the same thing on _that_ night, standing in front of the doors and shaking in terror, frozen by the thought of what he would find inside.

He yanked the doors open. Inside the room was empty, and there was a coldness in the air that invaded his body and seeped into his bones. Sasuke stared down at the wooden floorboards where the bodies of his parents had been, and he choked on the memory. If he looked closely, he could still see the slight stain of blood on the wood.

( _The sword shook in Itachi's hands. It arched through the air, and in one clean stroke it sliced down — )_

Nausea rose in his chest, a distressed noise escaping his lips. He slammed the doors closed quickly, spinning around to press his back against them. He breathed slowly through his nose, trying to slow the frantic beating of his heart. Images were flashing before his eyes; his parents kneeling with their heads down… the blood splashing through the air… his father's dead eyes…

( _Itachi turned his face to him as he stepped out of the shadows. His body shook with horror and confusion as he met his brother's blank eyes._

_"Itachi! Mother and Father are — "_

_Blinding pain erupted in his shoulder —_ )

Sasuke took a shaky breath. He allowed himself to sink to the floor, and he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. Why the hell had he thought that was a good idea?

He sat there in the eerie silence of the house, waiting for his heartbeat to steady and his breathing to return to normal. The bloody images of that night stayed with him, every time he blinked, and he pressed his hands harder against his eyes until he had to blink spots from his vision.

 _Idiot_ , he thought. _Why would you do that?_

It was a stupid thing to do. But he'd needed to do it. A small part of him had still been clinging to the idea that his parents hadn't died yet, despite all the evidence to the contrary. He'd needed something to rid him of that—to snap him harshly back into reality.

Sasuke leaned his head back against the door, his breathing the only sound. He let himself sit there on the floor for a long time, until his hands stopped shaking and the memories stopped trying to choke him. He sat there in silence as time slipped by, until he finally stopped feeling like he was falling apart.

It could have been ten minutes, or it could have been fifty, but eventually, a loud knock broke the quiet. Sasuke startled, his head snapping in the direction of the door.

_Who the hell…?_

The entire Uchiha compound was empty. He was the only one still living on the property. And he'd never had anyone over, so how would they know where he lived?

With a frown, Sasuke pulled himself to his feet and went toward the door. He pulled it open, blinking up at the person standing there.

“Yo,” Kakashi said, raising his hand in greeting. “Having a good morning, Sasuke-kun?”

Sasuke stared up at him blankly—and _wow_ , Sasuke had forgotten how _short_ he used to be compared to Kakashi. The man's visible eye was curved up pleasantly. He looked the same as the last time Sasuke had seen him, albeit less worn. More carefree.

Sasuke searched his memory for a time when Kakashi had ever visited him at the compound. He came up blank.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, scowling.

Kakashi tsked. “So _impolite_. You should show your sensei more respect, you know.”

Sasuke's scowl deepened, and he turned to close the door.

Kakashi's hand shot out to hold it open. “Okay, okay,” he said, dropping the teasing tone to something more sincere. “You were late to training, I came to see if everything was alright.”

Sasuke blinked. _Oh_. That explained why Kakashi was here when he'd never before visited Sasuke at home—Sasuke had never been late for training before.

Sasuke looked beyond the jounin to the sun rising up in the sky. He’d forgotten that he'd usually been at the training grounds with Team Seven by now. Kakashi had usually been hours late in showing up, but today must have been one of the rare occasions he'd been on time.

Sasuke shrugged at his questioning look. “I overslept,” he said shortly.

Kakashi's eye curved downward, his eyebrows pinching slightly. “That's unlike you.”

He huffed. “Whatever. I just couldn't fall asleep last night, okay?”

“Hmm.” Kakashi scrutinized him, and Sasuke resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably. He’d forgotten how perceptive the jounin could be. “Well, are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” he said. His first instinct had been to snap at him to stop acting like his sensei still, but stopped when he realized that Kakashi _was_ his sensei. He was a part of Team Seven again—and Kakashi was doing his job. “I'm ready to go now. Just hold on a second.”

Sasuke dashed into the kitchen to grab his ninja tools from the table, using it as a moment for him to process. Seeing Kakashi standing there, treating him the same way he used to… it was a wake up call. This was _actually_ happening.

Did he really want to see his former teammates again? He needed to start investigating Danzo and the massacre as soon as he could. But he also needed to find out exactly _when_ the sage had sent him back. And he didn't want Kakashi getting suspicious either.

Sasuke sighed. _Training it is, then._

He ran back to the door, slipping his shoes on his feet. “Alright, I'm good.”

Kakashi gave him an odd look, but didn't say anything as they left.

The two of them walked side-by-side through the district. Sasuke stared straight ahead, avoiding looking at any of the empty houses.

“Are you sure you're okay, Sasuke?” Kakashi asked.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I said I'm _fine_. Leave it, would you?”

Kakashi shrugged and relented, placing his hands in his pockets as they walked. Sasuke frowned and looked up at him, asking, “How did you know where I lived, anyway?”

“Hm? Oh. The Hokage took me to each of your houses when he told me I would be your sensei.”

“Oh,” said Sasuke, but his lips turned down slightly. He imagined Kakashi inside his house, treading in the rooms where his parents had lived, where his parents had _died_. For some reason, it made him feel violated.

“Sorry,” Kakashi told him. “I wasn't trying to invade your personal space.”

“Whatever. I don't care.”

Still, Sasuke couldn't help but muse over his sensei's words. Showing Kakashi his future students’ living quarters seemed a bit presumptuous, considering Kakashi had never passed a single kid before them. Had the Hokage always intended Kakashi to pass Squad Seven, regardless of whether they met the man's standards?

He walked by Kakashi's side as they exited the Uchiha district and continued on into the main part of the village. Sasuke forced his feet forward, refusing to acknowledge how odd it all felt.

It had been years since he'd last stepped foot in Konoha, last walked these streets. Seeing it now, untouched by the destruction that would ravage it in the years to come, brought about an entirely unexpected wave of nostalgia, and for a moment he _ached_ , though he wasn't sure what for.

They passed Ichiraku Ramen, and the image hit him in a sudden flash: all four of them sitting at the counter, Kakashi watching them suspiciously with chopsticks held between his fingers, as they leaned forward and waited with bated breath for him to pull down his mask.

The memory made his chest feel tight. He shoved it away and kept moving.

Rising proudly above all of the buildings and structures of the village was the Hokage monument. It had one less face carved into it than it did in Sasuke's memory, the Third not yet having met his demise by Orochimaru. Sasuke stared up at the large stone face, and his hands curled into fists. Anger simmered in his gut.

Sasuke didn't harbor the same hatred for the Sandaime that he did for Danzo and the Elders. From Itachi's memories, he knew the Third had never wanted the massacre and had done everything possible to prevent it.

But still—it had been the Third's lack of action that allowed Danzo to stay in power. And it had been the Third who had watched Sasuke grow up alone, knowing the truth about Itachi but never once breathing a word.

Hiruzen Sarutobi might have never wanted the Uchiha massacred, but he was still culpable in their eradication.

“You okay, Sasuke?”

Kakashi was observing him with a concerned eye. Sasuke forced his hands to unclench, forced his jaw to loosen. He shot his sensei a glare.

“Right, right.” Kakashi raised his hands in a gesture of backing off. “ _Leave it,_ you said. I apologize.”

“Hey, Sasuke! There you are, you bastard!”

“Naruto! Don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that!”

Sasuke snapped his eyes in the direction of the familiar voices as he and Kakashi approached the training ground. If seeing himself four years younger was weird, seeing Naruto and Sakura was just as disorienting. His eyes fell on them, and it was like someone had punched him in the stomach.

Naruto was so bright he hurt Sasuke's eyes, his fists clenched and teeth gritted, like a child about to throw a tantrum. He was fixing Sasuke with that familiar annoyed look, and for a moment, the present seemed to blur with the past—or was it the future?

Sakura was glaring at her teammate with her arms crossed. She hadn't cut her hair yet, and the pink strands fell artfully over her shoulders. She punched Naruto on the top of his head, leaving the blonde cursing and jumping away from her.

“Sasuke-kun, you're here!” She went from irritated to love-struck in less than a second as she turned to him. “I was worried when you didn't show up!”

“Hn,” said Sasuke, at a loss for what else to say. He felt completely out of place.

“Hey, where's your headband?” Naruto asked with a frown.

Sasuke's hand went up to his forehead, as he realized he'd forgotten to pick his forehead protector back up from the floor when he'd thrown it that morning. That was probably the reason Kakashi had given him that odd look when they'd left.

“Forgot it, I guess.”

“ _Forgot it_?” Naruto repeated. He shook his head. “Jeez, Sasuke, you're being super weird, ya know! Usually you're the first one here and Kakashi-sensei's the one who's late! But this time _you're_ late and Kakashi-sensei's _on time_! It's all kinds of messed up!”

Sasuke scowled at him. “Can you stop speaking in exclamation points? Jeez, you're loud.”

“I'm not _always_ late,” Kakashi huffed from behind him.

“Yes you are!” Naruto and Sakura yelled in unison.

Naruto turned back to Sasuke. “But seriously! You've got a lot of nerve showing up so late! What, you think you're so cool that you don't have to train!? Whether we pass depends on you, too, remember!? We all gotta be prepared, so don't go slacking off just ‘cuz you think you're better!”

Sasuke blinked at the outpour of words. “Prepared for what?”

All three of them looked at him in disbelief. Even Sakura.

“The Chuunin Exams, duh! Honestly, Sasuke where have you been?” Naruto narrowed his eyes and then pointed an accusing finger at him. “Don't tell me you're backing out! We need you in order to qualify! No, no, no, I won't let you!”

The Chuunin Exams, huh? So _that_ was when he'd been sent back to. And since they'd been informed about it on such short notice, that meant it had to be only a couple of days away…

“I'm not backing out,” he responded automatically, even as he second-guessed his words. _Should_ he back out? He had to focus on his brother. He didn't have time to be dealing with Orochimaru and his damn curse mark. Not to mention Gaara as well…

But Orochimaru was going to come after him anyway, regardless if he took the Exams. And if he pulled out now… Kakashi was already looking at him oddly; if he decided suddenly not to take them, there was no way the jounin wouldn't be suspicious.

 _You just have to deal with Orochimaru_ , he told himself. _After that, you have plenty of time between the second and third rounds to focus on Itachi._

“Alright, Naruto, leave Sasuke alone,” Kakashi said. He moved to place a hand on Sasuke’s head, and Sasuke dodged him with an icy expression. “He's here now, so why don't we get started, hm?”

Naruto and Sakura immediately jumped to attention. Sakura asked what they would be learning today, while Naruto started demanding he teach them a new jutsu. He jumped up and down like he needed to use the bathroom.

Sasuke stood there silently. He remembered the days when he felt the same eagerness as Naruto and Sakura, even if he had never outwardly shown it. Training had meant getting stronger; each day, each hour, had meant getting that much closer to Itachi's level—and that much closer to killing him.

Until Itachi returned to Konoha, and Sasuke had realized just how wide the gap between them really was.

Now, all he felt when he watched them was impatience. He didn't need to be here. Anything Kakashi could teach them, Sasuke had already been taught. He had less chakra in this body, but he still retained all his skills. He had better places he could be.

He had no desire to relive his time on Team Seven. His former teammates were irrelevant to him. The only one who mattered was Itachi.

Kakashi decided they would focus on taijutsu today, to Naruto's disappointment. But that disappointment quickly changed to determination as he faced his opponent, squaring his shoulders as he met Sasuke's gaze.

Sakura sat by the side, observing the fight. “Go Sasuke-kun!” she yelled. “Kick butt!”

This pissed Naruto off. Sasuke rolled his eyes as the blonde rushed in before Kakashi had even said start.

 _Predictable_.

That had always been Naruto's problem. It wasn't that he couldn't fight well, it was that every single one of his movements were so damn _obvious_. He rushed right in, making no effort to hide where his strikes were going to come from. His blows were easy to anticipate, simple to parry and dodge.

Sasuke stayed on the defensive, dodging and ducking Naruto's attacks. There was no need to worry; four years in the future, Naruto's skills might be enough to match him, but right now they were pitiful. Unless he used the Kyuubi's power, which he wouldn't do during a training exercise.

Still, despite his abundance of confidence, Sasuke couldn't help his slight frown as he blocked a kick with his arm. This body was unfamiliar to him, and it kept tripping him up. He ducked under Naruto's arm to avoid his fist, and his movements felt clumsy and uncoordinated; so unlike the fluidity he usually moved with.

He wasn't used to being twelve. He wasn't used to being this short, his muscles and reflexes not as well-developed. He possessed all the knowledge and experience needed, but it meant nothing if his body wouldn't cooperate.

His staying on the defensive quickly began to make Naruto angry. He attacked harder, quicker, trying to force some kind of response.

“Damn you, Sasuke! Stop just dodging! It's not a real fight if all you do is dodge my attacks!”

“Naruto's right, Sasuke,” Kakashi said. Sasuke didn't look at him, too busy dodging Naruto. “You're supposed to be honing your hand-to-hand combat skills, you can't just deflect.”

Naruto swung his arm back. Sasuke ducked under it, spun around, then grabbed Naruto's still-outstretched arm from behind before flipping him over his shoulder. He landed on the ground with a thud at Sasuke's feet.

Naruto growled, then shoved himself back up. Sasuke was ready. They traded blows back and forth, Sasuke mostly parrying and blocking, though he did manage to get a hit on Naruto's jaw with his elbow. He felt awkward, stuffed into a body that didn't move like he wanted it to, and he knew that he would have to go on the offensive.

“ _Sasuke_ ,” Kakashi warned him again. Sasuke gritted his teeth.

Naruto threw another punch. Without thinking, Sasuke used a shunshin to flicker behind him, and Naruto's eyes widened as he disappeared. Sasuke pulled a kunai from his belt, twirling it by the handle, and he lashed out with it as Naruto's face turned toward him.

The metal glinted as it flashed through the air, and Naruto's eyes widened.

The hit didn't land. The blade sliced through air.

Sasuke froze, staring at the kunai with his arm still outstretched. Disbelief surged through him. _What?_

Naruto stared as well, the same disbelief written across his face. He'd obviously been expecting to get his face sliced up—and was just as confused as Sasuke when it didn't happen.

The tip of the blade hovered next to Naruto's cheek. Half an inch closer, and it would have cut through skin.

He had misjudged the range of the strike—he’d been expecting his arm to be longer.

Naruto snapped out of it before he did. Taking advantage of Sasuke's distraction, he kicked the kunai from Sasuke's hand, then kicked him in the side of his jaw. Sasuke's head snapped to the side, and he stumbled and fell.

“Sasuke-kun!” Sakura yelled shrilly.

Sasuke pushed himself halfway up, placing a hand on his jaw. He could taste blood in his mouth.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's discarded kunai. “I win,” he proclaimed, pointing the blade at Sasuke's throat.

There was a silence. Sasuke stared into Naruto's grinning face and resisted the urge to snarl. He couldn't believe he'd let Naruto actually knock him down like that. Frustration built up inside him. That fight had been _pathetic_.

He would need to get used to fighting in this body as quickly as possible. If someone as incompetent as a twelve-year-old Naruto could knock him down so easily, what help was he to Itachi?

“Are you alright, Sasuke-kun?” asked Sakura. She turned angry green eyes onto Naruto. “Naruto, apologize now!”

Naruto looked at her, incredulous. “What!? No way! I won fair and square, I'm not gonna apologize—”

Sasuke ignored their bickering, shoving himself to his feet. Kakashi was looking at him again, he noticed.

“Alright,” the jounin told them. “Naruto wins. Now perform the unison sign.”

They stepped up and reached out to make the sign. Naruto was grinning smugly as they did, and Sasuke scowled at him.

 _Pitiful_ , Sasuke thought, with a surge of frustration toward himself. _How am I supposed to avenge my clan like this?_

Kakashi called for the next match-up to start, this time Sasuke against Sakura. Naruto was too giddy about his victory to protest at sitting out. Sakura whined about not wanting to fight Sasuke, but eventually went to stand across from him.

Kakashi called start, and Sasuke rushed forward. He didn't hesitate to attack this time.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi watched his two students fight, a frown pulling at his lips behind his mask.

Fights between Sasuke and Sakura were always rather one-sided. Sakura refused to fight with Sasuke; the boy's attacks often forced her onto the defensive, but she refused to attempt any strikes of her own. The match was usually over very quickly.

Kakashi sighed. Sakura had such potential. If only she could get over her schoolgirl crush…

“So, Sensei, what did you think about that, huh!” Naruto stood next to him, bouncing up and down. He was meant to be studying his teammates fighting techniques, but seemed intent on bragging instead. “I totally took Sasuke down with a single kick! Pretty impressive, right?”

Kakashi hummed absently. Normally, he wouldn't have hesitated to praise his student. However, this time, he felt Naruto's victory had less to do with an improvement in his skills, and more to do with a decline in Sasuke's.

Sasuke was distracted. That much was obvious. And his fighting had been… _off_ , somehow. He had stayed on the defensive for too long, and when he had finally attacked… he shouldn't have missed that strike.

Even now, watching him fight his female teammate, his blows were landing just centimeters off. As if he thought his limbs were longer.

It was puzzling, to say the least. And then there had been that shunshin he had used. Ninja were often taught the Shunshin no Jutsu immediately after graduating; it was an easy technique used to build up the chakra in your body. Sasuke had already perfected it when he and Kakashi had met.

But the shunshin Kakashi had seen him perform out there… it had been way more advanced. Never before had he seen his student move that _fast_. His speed had been incredible.

_Where did that come from?_

Kakashi watched with a careful eye as Sasuke kicked Sakura off her feet harshly, ending the match swiftly. Sakura stared up at him with wide eyes.

Once it was clear the win was his, Sasuke withdrew his blade and stood up, turning his back on her wordlessly. The set of his shoulders was tight.

“Sasuke!” Naruto yelled. “You didn't have to be so rough!”

“No,” said Sakura, standing up and brushing herself off. Her eyes were still locked on Sasuke's turned back. “That's okay. He shouldn't have to go easy on me.”

She hung her head, obviously shamed by her poor performance. Kakashi pulled his own gaze from Sasuke to walk over and give her a consoling pat on the shoulder.

“Okay, Sakura and Naruto next!”

Naruto and Sakura took their places to fight, and Kakashi noticed the same problem taking place, only this time in reverse. Much like Sakura with Sasuke, Naruto didn't want to hurt the girl he was crushing on; with Sasuke he had attacked relentlessly, but now his moves were reluctant.

Sakura had no such problem. She punched him hard in the face, sending him flying backward.

“Ow, Sakura-chan—no, wait, stop, _ow ow ow_ —”

Kakashi winced in sympathy as he watched his student get whaled on. Standing next to him, Sasuke watched the two of them with disinterest, his arms crossed.

“Shouldn't you stop her?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, turning his head up to look at him.

Kakashi shrugged, unconcerned. “I'll give her a few more minutes.”

Sasuke dropped his eyes back to the beat-down taking place in front of him. Kakashi took the moment to silently observe the young Uchiha. It was jarring to see him without his forehead protector—Kakashi didn't think he'd ever seen him go without it. He must have been really tired to forget it this morning.

“So, Sasuke,” he said. “That was some impressive speed you displayed with Naruto.”

Sasuke frowned before realization seemed to strike him. His face went quickly blank. “I've been practicing it.”

“Hm. But not everything else?” The boy looked at him, and Kakashi shrugged. “Your fighting today was rather clumsy. I've never seen Naruto get the jump on you like that.”

“I told you I didn't sleep well,” he snapped defensively. “I'm just tired. I'll be fine by tomorrow.”

His tone was curt, and was obviously meant to put an end to the conversation. Kakashi frowned slightly in worry. Sasuke's attitude was usually very off-putting, but something about it was just… different today. _More_ , somehow.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Sasuke growled, snapping his head up to glare at him. “You've asked me if I'm okay four times now. It's getting damn annoying.”

Kakashi sighed, breathing through his nose. _As impolite as always,_ he thought.

“There's no need to be mean, you know. I'm only showing concern.”

“Well, _stop_.”

If Kakashi had been a less patient person, he might have growled or stomped his foot. Instead, he let his breath out slowly. Must his student insist on being so difficult?

 _You were just the same at his age,_ he reminded himself.

“Okay,” he relented. “I'll stop. But just know that you can talk to me if you need to.”

“I don't,” Sasuke responded, his voice cold.

Kakashi deflated. He hadn't expected any different, but still…

“Alright, Sakura,” he said, turning back to the fight and finally taking pity on his poor student. “I think Naruto has had enough, don't you say?”

“Sensei!” Naruto yelled, standing back up as Sakura stopped her assault. He was covered in bruises. “Why didn't you call the match off!”

Kakashi shrugged. “Sorry. I thought you might get back up.” His eye curved up, and his tone was mocking. “I wasn't expecting for you to let a girl beat you up like that.”

Naruto's mouth dropped open. Sakura's eyes turned stormy.

“What do you mean a _girl_!?”

“Whatever!” Naruto growled. “But after that, you at least owe me some ramen!”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, amused. “Oh, do I?”

“Yes, you jerk!”

Kakashi sighed, but figured it was the least he could do. He _did_ let his student get pummeled, after all. And his students had been working hard these past few days. With the Chuunin Exams coming up, all of them had been pushing their limits.

“Okay,” he relented. “We'll get lunch.”

“Yes, yes, yes! Ramen, here we come!”

He sighed. He could already feel how empty his wallet would be after this…

He started walking from the training grounds with his students, when he realized only two of them were beside them. He frowned turning around.

“Sasuke,” he called. “You coming?”

“I'm staying here,” he responded. “I need to get more training in before the Exams.”

Kakashi’s face pinched in displeasure. “Sasuke, you should take a break.”

“I'm fine here.”

Naruto huffed. “Ignore him, Kakashi-sensei. He's just sore ‘cuz I beat him!”

Sasuke didn't respond, just turned his back and began walking away from them.

Naruto grabbed his arm and began tugging him forward. Kakashi looked back, his gaze locked on the retreating form of his dark-haired student. Even as Naruto pulled him away and into the busy streets, he and Sakura bickering the whole way, Sasuke did not leave his thoughts.

Worry squirmed in his chest. Something about Sasuke was off. He could _feel_ it.

But what was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly Sasuke just accepting what's happened and figuring out what he plans on doing. Next chapter, things start to happen.
> 
> Kakashi is already causing Sasuke problems. He's definitely way too observant... ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Sasuke stood outside the Academy, leaning with his back against the wall as he waited for Sakura and Naruto. The first round of the Chuunin Exams—the written test—was about to start.

There were a few other teams hanging around the entrance; some of their faces looked familiar, but he didn't care enough to try to find anyone he recognized in the crowd. The sooner he got this over with, the better.

He felt exhausted, his body sore from overuse. This was his third day in the past now, and the previous two had been spent training, trying to get acclimated to the younger body he had found himself in. He refused to allow himself any respite until he was back to fighting at his usual standard. It was lucky Kakashi hadn't been around after that first morning, or Sasuke probably would've gotten a stern lecture about the dangers of over-training.

He'd trained in taijutsu, mostly. Most of the ninjutsu he knew were things he wasn't supposed to be able to do yet, and he hadn't wanted to risk anyone seeing him. Kakashi was already watching him closely—if he saw Sasuke practicing something like the Chidori, there would be no way for him to explain it.

He'd waited until he'd returned home that night to practice those type of jutsus. It was disheartening, realizing exactly how much of his power he wouldn't be able to use. He couldn't use any of his Lightning Style jutsus, or anything that he had learned from Orochimaru. Over half of his arsenal was off-limits.

He couldn't use the Mangekyou, either. He didn't know when Kakashi had received his own Mangekyou—if he'd already had it when he'd started teaching them or if he had awakened it sometime later—but either way, he couldn't let his teacher see that he had his.

 _It's just until after the Exams,_ he thought. _After that, it won't matter._

He'd already decided that when he saw his brother again, he was going to tell him everything. There would be no point in lying—and it was going to take a lot of convincing to make his brother drop the act and actually listen to him.

He'd been giving a lot of thought to how he was going to go about dealing with this. Itachi would be coming to Konoha in a couple months, so he could always wait until then for him to show up, but Sasuke wasn't very content with the idea of standing by idly until then. Surely there had to be some way of finding out where his brother was.

Itachi had infiltrated the Akatsuki on the Hokage's orders. If he was working as a spy, then surely he must've had some way to contact the village to relay intel. If Sasuke could just find out how he had done it… maybe it could lead him to where he was.

But how could he begin doing that without drawing attention to himself? Danzo had eyes everywhere. If he got even a hint that Sasuke was looking deeper into things…

Sasuke sighed, kicking at the ground in frustration and sending up dirt. He reached up behind him to tighten his hitai-ate. After four years without it, it felt out of place tied around his head.

The sound of loud breathing and heavy running caused him to look up. Naruto was racing toward him, and upon reaching him, he bent over to catch his breath. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the giant grin on his face.

“That brat Konohamaru tried to challenge me on the way here! I thought I was gonna be late!” Naruto struggled for breath, looking around at all the genin gathered around the school. “Is Sakura-chan not here yet?”

Sasuke ignored him. Naruto rolled his eyes, then frowned slightly in concern.

“She seemed a bit down after training a couple days ago. I know she wasn't sure about taking the Exams before, but she seemed a lot more confident after defeating that guy who tried to trick her—you know, the one who tried to disguise himself as you. She told you about it, right?”

Sasuke hummed noncommittally. He had no idea what Naruto was talking about—it had been years ago for him, it wasn't surprising he didn't remember—but he had no desire to have it explained to him.

“Well, she seemed better after that. You don't think she's having doubts again?”

“Who's having doubts?”

Naruto startled, spinning around. “Sakura-chan! You're here!”

“Where else would I be?” Sasuke felt her gaze as it shifted from Naruto to him. “Hello, Sasuke-kun. Are you feeling better today?”

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. “What do you mean _feeling better_?”

“W-well.” She stuttered, caught off-guard. “I-I just meant that… at training the other day, it seemed like something was bothering you.”

He looked away, jaw clenching. “I'm fine.”

Had he really been that obvious? Then again, he had lost a fight to _Naruto_ , of all people. With how poorly he'd fought… it was no wonder Sakura had noticed.

“Well, you'd better be,” said Naruto. “I won't have you getting us disqualified because you're fighting like you did a few days ago!”

“Dobe. We're not fighting today.” Naruto looked at him blankly, and Sasuke sighed. “Why do you think we're at the Academy? Today is just the written test.”

Sakura frowned. “How do you know that? I couldn't find anything about what the rounds consist of. I looked through my books all night!”

Sasuke inwardly winced. Why did he keep saying stuff like that?

“My brother told me,” he lied, the first excuse that popped into his head.

“Your brother?” Naruto frowned. “Hey, isn't he the one you said you wanted to—”

“Look,” he said, cutting Naruto off quickly as he spotted the doors of the Academy finally opening. “They're letting us in, let's go.”

They entered the Academy to find two chuunin blocking one of the doorways. Rock Lee was on the floor, his female teammate by his side, both of them glaring. The pair of chuunin were ranting gleefully about how the Exams were out of their league.

 _Oh, right._ Sasuke rolled his eyes. _I remember this._

He didn't bother trying to show off this time. Instead, he walked through the crowd and right up to the pair of ninja.

“We were told to meet on the third floor. This is the second, there's a genjutsu on the sign. Now move, would you?”

He heard Sakura's gasp of realization from behind him, and the rising muttering from the other genin teams, as the genjutsu fell away to reveal the numbers _201_ instead of _301_. He ignored them, and the two chuunin in front of him grinned in approval.

This time, when the chuunin to the right came at him, Sasuke was prepared. He ducked around the strike instead of falling into a fighting stance. When the chuunin spun around to attack again, Lee was suddenly there, his eyes hard and intense as he halted the ninja's kick in mid-air.

Sasuke ignored the familiar events that followed. He hadn't cared the first time around, and he had even less patience for it the second time. Naruto and Sakura stood in awe at Lee's speed, and Lee professed his sudden love for Sakura only to get brutally rejected. Sasuke turned his back on the spectacle, back toward the door that led to the staircase.

“Hey, wait.”

A hand wrapped around his arm in a vise-like grip. Sasuke stopped, then slowly turned his head.

“What's your name?” Neji asked him. It felt like looking at a ghost.

When he had arrived at the frontlines with the reanimated Hokage, he had jumped straight into the battle, because standing still for even a moment would have spelled his death. There hadn't been any time for him to care about the bodies on the ground—much less recognize any of their faces.

One image, however, was clear in his mind. He recalled looking behind him briefly and spotting Hinata, tears drying on her cheeks as she kneeled over a broken, beaten body. He recalled dark hair and a pale face streaked with blood, three years older than it had been in his memory.

Now, Neji's eyes were blank as they stared him down. His face had held more of an expression when he had been dead.

Sasuke shook off the strange feeling that had fallen over him—the realization that all too soon, the boy in front of him would be nothing more than a corpse.

He glanced down at the hand on his arm, then looked up with a cold expression.

“Take your hand off me.”

Neji's eyes widened slightly at his tone. He dropped his hand, taking a small step back.

“Look, I only asked—”

“I'm under no obligation to tell you who I am,” Sasuke told him. “I'm here to take the exam, not stand around chatting in the hallway.”

He returned his gaze forward, placing his hands in his pockets as he brushed passed the two chuunin and through the doorway. Naruto and Sakura scrambled after him, toward the third floor.

He could feel Neji's gaze on his back as he went.

 

 

 He avoided the fight with Lee that happened originally. Thank God—he didn't have the patience to deal with him. He also didn't feel like being humiliated, because despite all of the practice he'd been doing, his fighting in this body still wasn't quite up to par.

And it wasn't like he needed to copy Lee's speed. He already had that—though he probably wouldn't need it this time, anyway.

Sasuke wasn't sure what he had done to change the sequence of events, but either way, Lee didn't follow after him to challenge him this time. Perhaps it had been something he'd said to Neji—though from what Sasuke remembered, their conversation hadn't been that different the first time around.

His brief altercation with the Hyuuga lingered in his mind as the three of them made their way down the hall. The feeling left by those disconcerting eyes was hard to shake, and it left him feeling off-kilter. He didn't like it.

He couldn't explain what it was about the other boy that left him feeling so affected. Aside from the conversation they'd just had (and the near-identical one they'd had the first time), he and Neji had never spoken. So why was he suddenly so unsettled, so wrong-footed? Why couldn't he get the image of those eyes out of his head?

 _Because he's going to die._ The thought came unbidden, whispering to him harshly. _And you know you could stop it, but you still won't._

Sasuke clenched his jaw and forced Neji Hyuuga from his mind. There were dozens of people like Neji who would soon be dead. He couldn't afford to care about them. Couldn't afford to _feel bad_.

He needed to be focused on Itachi. Everyone else was just a distraction.

He entered the classroom with Naruto and Sakura, no Lee or Maito Gai to hold them up this time. Ino immediately accosted him, but he shook her off quickly. Naruto behaved like his usual self, which led to a loud conflict between their former classmates.

Then Kabuto walked over to them, and Sasuke bit down on a long string of curse words.

Because how the _hell_ had he managed to forget about _Kabuto_?

Kabuto explained who he was and how many times he had taken the Exams before. Sasuke tried to hide the disgust in his eyes when he looked at him, and when he pulled out the data cards he had of the other ninja, Sasuke declined the offer to look at them. Instead, he found his way to one of the desks, leaving Naruto and Sakura to gush over all the information they were getting.

He still couldn't believe he had _forgotten_ about Kabuto—though to be honest, he had always considered Kabuto more of a nuisance than an actual threat, so maybe it wasn't that surprising. The man had always been skillful at appearing unimportant—it was one of the traits that made him so great as a spy.

Sasuke stapled his hands under his chin as he considered the situation. Kabuto's presence, while irritating, didn't pose any outright threat. Even without his loyal pet whispering information in his ear, Orochimaru would still come after him. And he would still launch the attack against Konoha.

Sasuke frowned as he thought about the upcoming invasion. If he let it proceed as it did before, then that meant the Third would die. Sasuke didn't care about the Sandaime either way, but he was one of the few who knew the truth behind the massacre. If Sasuke was going to expose Danzo, it might be in his best interests to keep the man alive…

But the Third's death had been what led to Itachi returning to the village. If he saved his life, Itachi would have no reason to come back. The Akatsuki would send someone else to capture Naruto.

Sasuke inwardly sighed. What should he do? If he were Naruto, the answer would be obvious…

“I'm Naruto Uzumaki!” The loud exclamation halted Sasuke's thoughts, and he turned to see Naruto pointing his finger at all of the candidates in the classroom, grinning widely. “And I'm gonna beat every one of you!”

Sasuke groaned. _Speaking of that blonde idiot…_

Everything proceeded as he remembered. The three Sound shinobi decided to show off and Kabuto pretended to be caught up in their attack. Then the exam started. He didn't even need to cheat this time; he was smarter now than he was at twelve, and while he still didn't know all of the answers, he knew over half of them. And for the ones he didn't, he still had the pencil movements memorized from over four years ago.

Naruto gave his little speech that inspired the remaining candidates to stay as the proctor explained the so-called tenth question. The same amount of people remained and passed the first round, and then Anko Mitarashi came through the window to announce the second part of the Exams early the next morning.

They all left the classroom. Naruto and Sakura speculated what the second round might consist of, while Sasuke hung back quietly, thinking about his upcoming confrontation with Orochimaru.

He was really dreading seeing the Snake Sannin again. While he had been willing to revive Orochimaru and work with him before the Sage of Six Paths had sent him back, this version of Orochimaru was after his body, which Sasuke really didn't have the time to deal with. Truthfully, he'd been hoping he could get started on looking into the massacre—but now, it seemed like that would have to wait until after the second round.

Sasuke glanced at the sun shining over the Hokage monument. It was still only the afternoon. Maybe he could still sneak into the ANBU headquarters before tomorrow. He doubted he would find anything there, but it was somewhere to start at least…

“Hey, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke snapped out of his thoughts, turning to his pink-haired teammate. “What?”

“Do you know what the second round is going to be?”

He eyed her warily. “How would I know?”

She shrugged. “Well, you said your brother told you about the written test, so I thought he might have mentioned something else to you.”

Naruto glanced at Sasuke, looking a mixture between nervous and curious. Naruto knew next to nothing about Itachi during this point in time—except that Sasuke wanted to kill him.

Which wasn't true anymore, of course. But he wasn't about to tell either of them that.

“It was years ago, so I don't really remember,” he said. Sakura's shoulders slumped in disappointment. “Besides, I heard the rounds change a lot depending on which village is holding them, so it wouldn't matter anyway.”

“Oh…”

Resolved to doing some digging before entering the Forest of Death tomorrow, Sasuke stopped and turned to face the two of them.

“I'm going to get in some training before the next part of the exam.”

Sakura brightened. “Good idea! I'll come with you!”

“No,” he said firmly, causing her to wilt. “I'm going to train back at my compound. I don't want anyone with me.”

Sakura went to protest again, but Naruto put an arm out to stop her from stepping forward, halting her mouth as well as her feet. He looked at Sasuke with an understanding in his eyes.

“That's okay,” he said. “You go ahead.”

Sasuke stared at him, trying to read the expression on his face. Naruto had always claimed to understand his pain, to share in his suffering. Did he see something that made him think Sasuke needed some time alone with his ghosts, without the two of them hanging around?

If he did, then he was wrong, of course. Sasuke wasn't actually going to the Uchiha compound.

Still… Sasuke supposed he could appreciate the gesture. It even made him feel a bit bad about lying.

He was halfway to ANBU headquarters before he stopped and changed his mind. After thinking it over, he realized he probably wouldn't find anything there except reports about the aftermath of the massacre—cleaning up all of the bodies. Itachi's mission hadn't been an official ANBU mission; there was no way that sort of information would be stored where anyone with high enough clearance could see it.

No. If Itachi's mission had even been recorded on paper—and that was a big if—then he wouldn't find anything about it there.

Sasuke turned around, his eyes falling in the direction he'd just left. The Academy—and slightly beyond it, the Hokage Residence. That was where the most classified intel was stored.

Sasuke glanced up at the sun, still high in the sky. There was no way he'd be able to sneak in now. It was too crawling with people, and there would be too many eyes on him. He'd never make it inside unnoticed.

He'd have to wait until dark.

 

 

 Despite having been lying at the time, Sasuke ended up returning home to the compound.

It would have been foolish to attempt to sneak into the Hokage's living quarters during broad daylight. Only select individuals were permitted to enter, and at least half a dozen ANBU guarded the building at all times. Add that to all of the villagers currently crowding the streets, and there was no way he'd make it inside unnoticed.

So, he waited for night to fall. He could use the few hours to train, and he still needed a plan for dealing with Orochimaru.

By the time the sun had fallen behind the mountains, Sasuke had grown considerably more confident in his fighting abilities and had even thought up a partial plan for tomorrow. Glancing in the distance at the great stone faces in the sky, he slipped from the abandoned district and back onto Konoha's main streets.

Sasuke was used to living among empty houses and darkened windows, so the quiet stillness that pervaded the village at night didn't bother him. There were still a few stragglers walking around, still a few lights on, but nearly everyone was shut up in their houses. Sasuke traveled by rooftop, jumping soundlessly from building to building.

The Hokage's residence was one of the tallest constructs in the village, easily seen over all of the other buildings. It was located next to the Academy, and Sasuke landed on the school's rooftop, peering out at the building across from it.

Sasuke pulled his chakra tighter around himself, containing it so he was harder to sense. At this level, he was close to one of the top floors where classified intel was stored (according to Shisui anyway, who once claimed to have snuck in on a dare). It would be easy to scale the wall and slip in through the window.

Still, Sasuke paused where he was crouched on the Academy's roof, his eyes scanning for guards. He knew they had to be there.

 _There_ —Sasuke’s eyes caught a glint of white in the darkness. An ANBU mask.

Sasuke frowned. _Only one?_ he thought, eyes locked on the single operative perched on the edge of one of the windows.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, feeling a bit suspicious by the lax security, before realizing it actually made sense. Most of the guards were probably posted either at the entrance or deeper inside the building—guarding the Hokage himself as he slept, rather than a room full of dusty documents.

Sasuke frowned. He needed to get in that window. There wasn't really a way to sneak past the ANBU without being seen.

He leapt from the rooftop onto the side of the building, calling his chakra to the bottoms of his feet. His landing was not-quite-soundless, and the guard’s body coiled tightly, their head turning in the direction of the faint noise.

Sasuke activated his Sharingan, quickly catching the ANBU's eyes through the slits in their mask. The effect was instantaneous; the ninja's body went lax as the genjutsu put them to sleep. Sasuke lunged forward before the body could cause any noise, catching them and laying them down gently on the rooftop.

Crouching down, he removed the ANBU mask from the unconscious guard to reveal a woman about Kakashi's age. The tomoe in his eye spinning, he lifted her eyelid to erase the memory of her seeing him.

Returning her mask to her face, he dropped back down to the window. After that, it was a simple matter of deactivating a few exploding tags before he slipped inside.

Landing silently, he let his eyes get used to the darkness of the room, hoping he'd gotten the correct floor. He was surrounded by all sides by cabinets, pushed against the wall and crowding the small space. He reached out to pull one of the drawers open, and inside were a bunch of documents, all of them sorted by date.

 _Bingo_.

The ones he was looking at now were super dusty, the paper old and worn. A look at the labels showed these to be from sometime during the Second Hokage's reign.

Sasuke closed the drawer and moved down a few cabinets. The floor creaked slightly when he moved, and he winced. Eventually, he found the drawer containing documents from five years ago. His heart in his throat, he scanned the labels for the correct date.

_July 12th._

His breath caught when he saw it. He pulled it from the drawer and opened it on the table behind him.

The first page made him avert his eyes immediately. Pictures of the massacre—of the bodies littering the ground, the blood smearing the houses and buildings—were in full color. Nausea rose in his throat. Closing his eyes, forcing the memories down, he pushed past the photographs and onto the reports beneath it.

It wasn't anything he hadn't been expecting. They mostly detailed the disposal of the bodies, as was standard ANBU procedure. He searched for anything that hinted at Danzo's involvement, any sign that the bodies of his clan had been desecrated, but found nothing.

It wasn't surprising. It had likely been members of Root that had helped Danzo salvage his clan's doujutsu to implant in himself—disposing of their bodies so there could be no evidence of tampering. There would be no record of it.

Sasuke breathed through the anger, remembering the Sharingan of his dead clan implanted into Danzo's arm. Remembering his cousin's eye staring back at him from that bastard's face.

_Calm down. Calm down._

He repeated it to himself until the fire in his veins cooled, until his hands no longer held the edge of the table in a death-grip. He breathed out slowly, packing the rage down into something manageable, something _controlled_.

He turned back to the papers in front of him, his disappointment growing as he continued to find nothing. He knew he wouldn't find anything here, that a mission as unspeakable as Itachi's was likely not even on record. But still, a part of him had hoped. Hoped that there would be _something_.

He was about to give up and shove everything back into the file when his eyes caught on a single piece of paper, shoved between the gruesome photographs. He pulled it out and stared at it.

It looked like any other mission report—except that the entire file had been blacked out. The only words that were discernible was the date printed in the corner of the page. _April 15th_ —a few months before the massacre. The rest of its contents were redacted.

But what really caught Sasuke's attention was the signature at the bottom. Beneath the hidden text, a single name was signed.

_Itachi Uchiha._

His breath caught in his throat, and he ran his fingertips over the paper, feeling where the pen had pressed down. The signature was scratchy and rushed in a way that was painfully familiar.

His brother had held this in his hand, had signed his name to this paper. A thirteen-year-old kid, caught within an impossible choice.

Sasuke leaned closer, struggling to make out any of the words beneath the heavy black marking up the page. But it was no use—none of the text was legible.

But still, it was _something_. Even if it couldn't be read, it had been filed within the reports of the massacre, despite being from three months earlier. And Itachi had _signed_ it—

“Find anything interesting?”

Sasuke snapped his head up, his eyes widening. The Third Hokage was standing silently in the doorway.

Instantly, Sasuke whipped the document in his hands behind his back and out of sight.

“Hokage-sama,” he said, his heart racing. _When did he get there? How could I not have heard the door open?_ “I was—I was just—”

The stuttering was only partially faked. The Sandaime watched him with an impassive expression.

“You were just,” the Third repeated with a raised eyebrow, “breaking into my private residence in the middle of the night and going through classified files?”

His voice didn't sound angry, but regardless, Sasuke still felt himself tense. The Third walked into the room until he was standing across from him, his eyes glancing over the documents spread across the table.

His eyes fell on one of the photographs, and something that almost looked like grief flashed over his face. Sasuke felt a burst of anger.

 _How dare you feel grief for them,_ he thought. _How dare you, when it was you who allowed this to happen._

He swallowed the emotion down, his nails digging sharply into his palms. His eyes dropped to the papers spread out in front of him. The contents of the file were clear; it was too late to hide what he'd been doing.

Sasuke bowed his head. “I'm sorry,” he said. He hunched his shoulders to make himself seem smaller, schooled his features into something resembling shame. “I just… I need to understand it. I need to understand _why_.”

It wasn't a lie. Not completely. The Third searched his face for a long moment, and Sasuke allowed some of the years-old pain to shine through in his eyes. He hated the show of vulnerability he was displaying, but knew that it was necessary.

The Sandaime sighed heavily, lines of age gouged deeply in his face. He reached forward to collect the pages, returning them to their file. Sasuke let him, very aware of the single sheet of paper tucked into his back pocket.

“Your need to make sense of what happened is understandable,” he said gently. “I cannot fault you for that. It is only natural that you seek answers. However, I must insist that you ask next time, rather than invading highly classified intel.”

Inwardly scoffing at the suggestion, Sasuke fought to keep his expression apologetic. “I just wanted to try to understand… how my brother could do something like that. How he could be so…”

Sasuke let himself trail off, watching the Hokage closely. His expression became heavier, but there wasn't any sign of guilt on his face. No hint at the truth he was hiding.

“What happened to your clan,” he said, “was the result of someone with a very sick mind. Your brother was ill—the extent of which no one could have foreseen. If we had, perhaps this outcome could have been prevented.”

Sasuke stared down at his hands. He couldn't meet the man's gaze—he was afraid he would read the fury in Sasuke's eyes.

“There is nothing in these files that will make sense of Itachi's actions. It was a senseless act of violence, and there is no logic behind it. What happened was a tragedy. I wish I could offer you the answers you seek, but I have none. Perhaps there are none to be found.”

The Third's voice was gentle. He spoke almost like a grandfather. Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood, his entire body coiled tightly with rage. He looked down at his hands, white-knuckling the edge of the table, as the Hokage looked into his eyes and _lied to his fucking face_.

It was like standing in front of Danzo on that bridge, anger turning his vision blood-red. _Your brother was ill. What happened was a tragedy._

Lies. Goddamned _lies_ , every bit of it.

“Come on,” the Third said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Sasuke fought the urge to flinch away. “It's time you get home.”

 _Yes, home,_ Sasuke thought harshly. _Home to the empty house where my parents were slaughtered. Home to the compound where you keep me, where you have cordoned off my entire clan for generations._

Sasuke willed his anger inward, forced his hands to unclench as the Sandaime led him through the building, guiding him with a firm hand.

“I'm not in trouble?” he asked.

“No,” the Third replied. He gave him a look filled with warning. “However. If I ever catch you doing something like this again—”

“You won't. I swear.”

This, as well, was not a lie. _You won't catch me._

The Third led him down the stairs and out of the door, back outside. Sasuke was all too grateful to leave the man behind—it felt like his rage was suffocating him, rising up in his throat and threatening to escape.

It was only when he had gotten a few blocks away that he allowed the calm to fall away, allowed his body to shake and his eyes to flash red.

 _And to think,_ Sasuke thought, jaw clenching and hands curling into fists, _that I actually considered saving you…_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting into canon territory, which is difficult, because obviously Sasuke hasn't really changed anything yet, so things are mostly the same. However, I didn't want to bore you guys by rewriting the whole first exam, so I just summarized most of what stayed the same.
> 
> To be honest, Sasuke's conversation with Neji went pretty much the same as it did the first time, so I probably could have cut it out... except that I love Neji, so I'll take any excuse to write him ❤❤
> 
> Coming up next: The Forest of Death!
> 
> EDIT 03/01/19: After outlining my plans for this story in better detail, I have decided that it was a bit early in the story for Danzo to begin growing suspicious, and I have deleted the portion near the end of the chapter where the ROOT member spies on Sasuke leaving. As of now, Danzo has not yet taken notice of Sasuke. Everything else is unchanged.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry for the long wait, you guys! At first it was because I was working on my other Naruto story, but then I got super busy with work and school :( but my semester is ending this month, so I should have more time to write after that.
> 
> A NOTE ON THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER : if you read the last chapter when it first came out, I have made a few edits to it. I deleted the section near the end where a ROOT member notices Sasuke leaving the Hokage's place, because after revising my plans for this story I decided it was too early for Danzo to get involved.  
> If you read the chapter within the last few weeks, then nothing has changed.

The next morning, the twenty-six teams of genin participating in the Exams gathered outside the entrance to the Forest of Death. Anko greeted them near the heavily padlocked fence, grinning wildly as they approached.

Sasuke zoned out for most of the explanation. He kept his eyes forward to create the illusion he was listening, his thoughts drifting toward his encounter with the Third the previous night.

It had been foolish of him to be caught like that; he would need to move more carefully in the future, especially considering all the maneuvering it was going to take to avoid Danzo’s prying eyes. Truthfully, he had been surprised when the Sandaime sent him off without a punishment. Perhaps it had been the man’s guilty conscience.

Either way, while being caught certainly hadn’t been part of the plan, at least one good thing had come out of it. Before, he had been conflicted over whether he should let the invasion proceed as planned, unsure if letting the Third be killed would be in Itachi’s best interests. But after their meeting last night, his course of action was now clear.

When the time came, he would let Hiruzen Sarutobi die.

He wouldn’t lie and say that the decision was entirely rational, because he knew that it wasn’t. There was a good amount of rage that fueled it, a selfish hatred that flared when he remembered all the lies the man had spouted. But despite those feelings, Sasuke would never jeopardize the chance to save his brother for the sake of petty vengeance. His decision was based in anger, yes, but it was also based in logic.

The Third Hokage knew the truth about the massacre—and was the only person who knew that seemed to feel any regret for his part in it. He had thought that the man might be an ally when the time came for Sasuke to move on Danzo. But he should have known better.

If his talk with the Third had revealed anything, it was that the man was determined to stand by his lies. He would never reveal the truth. That was the difference between him and Danzo. Danzo kept his secrets to protect himself. The Sandaime kept them because he truly believed it was best for the village. So long as he believed that, his oath of silence would never waver.

Tsunade, on the other hand, knew nothing of the secret behind the massacre. Sasuke didn’t know much about her, but from what information he’d gleaned about her from Orochimaru, she would be a much safer bet when dealing with Danzo. Especially when she learned how the man had infused himself with her grandfather’s DNA.

Anko had begun to pass out the consent forms. Beside him, Sakura frowned and nudged him with her elbow.

“You should pay closer attention, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when a sudden awareness pierced through him. He froze, his muscles tensing and his senses sharpening.

Someone was watching him.

He didn’t turn around. That would only alert his watcher that he had noticed them. Instead, he forced his posture to slump, locked his attention on Anko in front of him. Two pinpricks of heat were drilling into his back and he focused in on the feeling.

It didn’t take him long to recognize. He knew the weight of that stare, the fervent intensity of those eyes. He knew what it felt like to be studied like this, like a specimen held under a microscope.

 _Orochimaru_.

It was him. Sasuke knew it was. He’d spent three long years under that man’s lecherous gaze. He knew what his eyes felt like.

Whenever he thought of his first meeting with Orochimaru, he always thought of their fight in the Forest of Death. How easy it was to forget that Orochimaru had actually been present long before then, disguised as a genin and taking the Exams right beside them. Sasuke remembered the disguise he had worn, his face peeling away to reveal the slitted eyes and pasty skin hidden beneath. He remembered the way his voice had become distorted; becoming older, rougher.

He would’ve been right there in the room with him yesterday as they had taken the first test. Sasuke hadn’t even thought to look for him.

Silently, Sasuke took the consent form as it was passed to him. His fingers crinkled the edges of the paper as he fought against the desire to turn around. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him to turn his head and meet those eyes, but he forced himself to keep facing forward.

“’The proctors of this exam are not responsible for any injury, dismemberment, or death that may occur in the taking of this test…’” Sakura frowned, looking up from the sheet she was reading off of. “I don’t know about this. Do you really think we could _die_?”

“Well, yeah,” said Naruto. “You heard that lady. It’s called the Forest of _Death_.”

Sasuke stared down at the paper, the words blurring. Beside him, Naruto was vibrating with energy.

“But I’m not scared of some dumb forest! I say bring it on! Right, Sasuke?”

Sasuke hummed absently, only partially listening. Naruto rolled his eyes.

The two of them drifted off to go over their forms. Sasuke forwent the form entirely, signing his name quickly without reading it. No longer feeling the heat of Orochimaru’s stare on his back, he used the brief time to scan the faces of the competitors, searching for him in the crowd.

He found her— _him_ —with the other two genin from Kusagakure. His head was bowed as he talked with them closely. The straw hat he wore obscured his face, but Sasuke could still recognize him from the familiar attire he wore. He wondered if the other genin on his team knew who they were really working with, that their real teammate was long dead by now. Probably not.

His eyes then found Kabuto, standing off to the side by himself. He was also watching Orochimaru. Then he seemed to realize someone watching him; he locked eyes with Sasuke, frowning suspiciously.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. With a scowl, Kabuto looked away.

Soon, Team Seven collected their scroll and the second exam started. They entered the Forest of Death, and Sasuke found himself reliving the sequence of events almost robotically, waiting for the moment when it would be time to act. It was much more trying on his patience than he had anticipated; he’d forgotten how annoying Naruto had used to be, before he had been forced to grow up a bit.

When the Ame ninja disguised himself as Naruto, Sasuke was quick to attack him. He was pleased at how used to his younger body he was getting and how easy it was to fight now after all of the practice. He still wasn’t completely comfortable, couldn’t fight with his usual speed and agility, but he was still almost equal to where his skill had been when he was twelve the first time.

It wouldn’t be enough to defeat Orochimaru, but if his plan went as he wanted it to, then he wouldn’t need to do much fighting.

The fight concluded the same way it did the first time, with one key difference. This time, when the Ame nin attacked, Sasuke didn’t deliver a non-fatal stab between his ribs. Instead, he took the kunai and slashed it across the guy's throat.

Drops of blood splashed his face. The body fell, landing on the ground with a heavy thump.

Sakura stared in horror as the blood soaked into the grass. Sasuke landed lightly, wiping the blood from his face with his arm

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get Naruto and then get out of here. It’s best not to linger in one place."

Sakura didn’t respond, wide eyes still staring at the ninja’s body.

“ _Sakura,_ ” he repeated.

His sharp tone drew her eyes to his face. “You killed him,” she whispered.

Sasuke pressed his lips together. “He was after our scroll. You saw the look on his face, didn’t you? He came at me with the intent to kill.”

“But he was a genin,” she said softly. Her face was alarmingly pale. “He couldn’t have been much older than us…”

Sasuke remembered watching his brother kill the clan—remembered the shock he had felt at the brutality of it; at how quickly, how easily, a life had been snuffed out. He knew it would be unfair to feel annoyed with Sakura for reacting the same way, but he found himself feeling that way anyway. All she ever did was stand around and gape. She was even more useless than Naruto.

“You heard what Anko said. A lot of people are probably going to die during this test. I was making sure I wasn’t one of them.”

Sakura still looked rather pale, but she seemed to pull herself together slightly. She turned away from the body, obviously discomfited.

They found Naruto trussed up behind some bushes, flailing around wildly in an attempt to free himself. Sasuke rolled his eyes as he dropped to his knees beside him.

“Stop moving around, dumbass,” he grumbled, working on the ropes with his kunai. “Do you _want_ me to slice you up?”

Naruto jumped up as soon as he was free. “Where is that bastard?” he demanded. “I’m gonna kick his butt—”

“I took care of him,” Sasuke told him.

“Huh? Whaddaya mean?”

“Sasuke-kun killed him,” said Sakura, the slightest tremor to her voice.

Indignation was replaced with shock. Naruto blinked dumbly, turning to look at him. “Seriously?”

Sasuke shrugged. “He tried to steal our scroll.”

“But… you seriously _killed_ him? That seems like a bit much.”

“If I hadn’t, he would’ve just come back.”

Naruto acquiesced to that. He still looked unsure, but was obviously much less stunned than Sakura was. Probably because he hadn’t actually seen it happen.

“Hurry up,” he said, eager to move on. “That guy’s teammates are probably close by. We should get away from here before they catch up.”

 

 

They proceeded on their journey through the forest. Sasuke played his part perfectly, suggesting a password so they couldn’t be tricked again, making it purposely long so Naruto would never remember it. Naruto seemed to quickly put out of his mind what had happened with the Ame nin, eager to continue on with the exam.

Sakura, on the other hand, kept giving him hesitant looks when she thought he wasn’t looking. Instead of the usual admiration, her eyes instead looked troubled. Uneasy.

He couldn’t care about that. Not now. He pushed himself off of the ground to stand. Every inch of his body honed in on his surroundings, watching for even the slightest hint of movement. Apprehension buzzed through him.

 _Any moment now_ , he thought. _Any moment…_

Right on time, a powerful current of wind blasted through the clearing. Naruto and Sakura cried out, and Sasuke fought with them to stay on his feet.

They were separated, the powerful wind blowing them in different directions. Sasuke spotted Sakura first, asking her to recite the password they’d created. She recited it perfectly.

Then Naruto stumbled over to them. Sasuke’s entire body tensed, knowing who it really was under the henge.

 _Orochimaru_.

He had his strategy planned out. It was a risk, but it was one worth taking. However, in order to carry it out, he would need to get Orochimaru alone. No Naruto and no Sakura.

Naruto would be easy. He’d just let him be swallowed by the giant snake. Getting rid of Sakura, however, would take some maneuvering.

Orochimaru dropped the henge, revealing the (false) face beneath it. Sasuke couldn’t recall word-for-word how their first interaction had went, but from what he could remember, it started close to the same this time.

When Orochimaru released his killing intent, Sasuke didn’t let it affect him this time. Looking back at it now, it had been utterly pathetic the way he had completely fallen apart in the face of the Sannin's power. Even years later, the memory still caused embarrassment to think about.

Sakura was frozen in place; she was petrified by the memory of her impending death. Orochimaru’s eyes passed between the two of them, quickly identifying her as the easy target.

The kunai sliced through the air toward Sakura; she wasn’t moving. Panic burst within him, sudden and intense, and Sasuke’s body moved automatically as he tackled her to the ground. He felt the stir of the air as the kunai passed less than an inch above his head.

His feeling of panic at seeing Sakura in danger surprised him, but he shoved it away to think on later. She seemed to have snapped out of her trance, but she still looked utterly terrified. Sasuke placed himself in front of her, facing his former master.

“Impressive,” Orochimaru said, his lips turning up at the corners. The voice coming from his mouth didn’t belong to him, but Sasuke recognized the tone he used. “You weren’t even affected by my killing intent. I suppose it’s only to be expected from an Uchiha.”

Sasuke’s eyes flickered behind him to Sakura. He needed to get rid of her quickly. It wouldn’t be long until Naruto escaped the snake.

“Who are you?” he demanded. “What do you want?”

“My name is Orochimaru,” he said, walking a few steps closer. Sasuke tensed. “Perhaps you’ve heard of me. No? No matter. As for what I want, that’s inconsequential to you at the present time. Right now, I’m merely interested in observing the power you possess.”

Orochimaru’s eyes were sharp, the curve of his lips even sharper. “I wonder,” he said. “Is it as much as your brother’s?”

Sasuke kept his face blank. Last time they had fought, the sound of Itachi's name had served to snap Sasuke out of his terror. He’d rushed straight into the fight, just as the Sannin had intended. Mentioning Itachi had been a calculated move on Orochimaru's part, and Sasuke had played right into his hands.

Not this time.

His hands flashed through the signs, as familiar to him as breathing. He felt the smoke rise in his throat, the flicker of flame on his tongue.

“ _Katon! Goukakyuu no Jutsu_!”

Fire burst from his lips. Orochimaru’s eyes widened just slightly, and he slid backwards quickly as the fire engulfed the clearing, tendrils of flame reaching toward his face.

Sasuke spun around, grabbing Sakura hard by the shoulders. “Sakura! I need you to get out of here and find Anko! Bring her here, understand?”

Sakura stared at him with wide eyes. Sasuke growled, shaking her roughly. “Sakura! Do you understand!?”

Her face was pale with fright as she stammered, “B-But what about you?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll hold him off until you get back, but I need you to go _now_.”

Sakura opened her mouth but then froze, staring over Sasuke’s shoulder. Sasuke turned.

Orochimaru had dodged the fireball jutsu, but not before the heat of the flames had managed to melt away his disguise. The remains of his fake face clung to him like melted wax, revealing the true features beneath.

Sasuke gave Sakura a rough shove. “Run. Now!"

With one last terrified glance, she spun around and did as he said.

“Well, well,” said Orochimaru as Sasuke turned to face him. His voice was distorted, caught between his own and his rapidly degenerating disguise. “Sending the girl away – that was a foolish idea. It leaves you alone with me.”

“She was useless to me.”

The Sannin looked at him in amusement. “And you believe you can fight me by yourself? I’m leagues above you, boy.”

Sasuke ignored the obvious goading. “Actually,” he said, “I wished to speak with you. Though if you want to fight, that can certainly be arranged.”

Orochimaru seemed to consider that for a moment. He inclined his head. “As you wish, Sasuke Uchiha. There are matters I would like to address with you as well."

“If you’re talking of your plan to possess my body and claim the Uchiha's power as your own,” he said, “you should know that I have no intention of becoming one of your puppets. So don’t even try it.”

Orochimaru’s mouth twitched irritably, the slightest hint of displeasure making itself known. “Careful now,” he warned. “Such arrogance is unbecoming. An Uchiha you may be, but you are still a child. Your power is no match to mine.”

“You’re wrong,” Sasuke replied calmly. His gaze was unwavering as he met the other’s eyes. “Your power is great, but you are still weaker than me. Despite the considerable experience you have on me, you still can’t match the power of an Uchiha.”

Orochimaru’s eyes were bright with fury. His teeth flashed, sharp and deadly.

Sasuke saw it in the flash of his teeth, the tensing of his muscles. He recalled the way those sharp fangs had pierced the side of his neck, causing his blood to catch fire, and when he saw the intent in those golden eyes, he had only a split second to react.

“ _Amaterasu_!”

He spat the word out so quick it was barely intelligible, his eyes flaring red before the regular pattern became a six-pointed star. Black flames ignited on the ground at the Sannin's feet, spreading across the grass until the man was trapped in a circle of fire.

Orochimaru stopped just short of extending his neck, trapped within the black flames. Sasuke ignored the blood that trailed from his eye, his Mangekyou openly displayed.

“You’re well-acquainted with my brother,” he said. “So I assume you’re familiar with these type of flames.”

The caution he afforded the flames, careful to stay in the center of the circle, made it clear he knew exactly what they did. He tore his eyes away from them, his eyes burning as he met Sasuke’s gaze.

“Amaterasu is a jutsu that burns through anything in its path until it reduces its target to ashes,” said Sasuke. “The flames cannot be evaded or extinguished. Not by you, anyway.”

Orochimaru curled his lip as his eyes darted between Sasuke and the flames that confined him. This confrontation obviously wasn’t going as he had planned.

“Why did you wish to speak with me, Sasuke-kun?” he asked. “You are very well-informed on my intentions for someone who claims not to know me.”

“I know _of_ you,” Sasuke responded, expertly avoiding the true inquiry in the words. “And I wished to speak to deliver a warning.”

“Oh?” The curiosity had returned to his voice now, lips curled up in a way that now looked more amused than infuriated. “And what would that be?”

“You will stop attempting to attack me,” Sasuke said. “I have no interest in the power you are attempting to offer. And you will never threaten my brother again in any way.”

The last part seemed to surprise him. “Your brother? Strange you should be concerned about him.”

“He is mine to deal with. No one else’s.”

The Sannin didn’t look happy with these terms – specifically the first part. “And if I disagree?”

“Then I’ll kill you,” Sasuke said. “I have the power to do it.”

It wasn’t a lie – he _did_ have the power to do it. The abilities he possessed with his Mangekyou were enough to bring down the Snake Sannin. He didn’t quite have enough chakra in this body to be able to utilize those abilities properly, but he still had them.

It was a bit of a bluff, but it was a truthful one.

This was the tricky part. This was the part where a bit of gambling was required. Sasuke had spent three years living with Orochimaru – he knew how the man’s mind worked. Orochimaru had always lusted after power, after knowledge, but even before those things, his number one priority had always been survival. He had carried out hundreds of experiments with the purpose of extending his lifespan, had set up failsafe after failsafe to ensure he had a way to come back should he be killed. He valued his life above everything else – he would not risk it.

That was the reason he had given up on Itachi and turned to Sasuke instead. He could’ve kept attempting to take over Itachi’s body, but instead he had backed off the moment he realized the extent of Itachi’s power. Because while he might have coveted the Sharingan, his desire to live had been much stronger.

 _Death_. It had always been Orochimaru’s deepest fear – the one force he had strived to defeat. It was that fear, that primal need to survive, that Sasuke was counting on now.

Orochimaru looked at him, and Sasuke allowed his absolute certainty in his own words to shine through, allowed the man to clearly see the pattern of his eyes. Sasuke knew Orochimaru could recognize the power held in that gaze – the same power that had once bested him.

Orochimaru’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “You demand much.”

“I don’t demand,” said Sasuke. “I’m merely attempting to strike a bargain. I have unfinished business with my brother I don’t need you interfering in. Stop your attempts to steal my Sharingan for yourself, and in return, I’ll make sure your attack on Konoha proceeds without a hitch.”

 _That_ caught Orochimaru’s attention. Surprise flashed through his eyes and his slitted pupils sharpened.

Sasuke felt the dull ache behind his eyes. Keeping the Mangekyou activated for so long was straining for him in a body this young. He was beginning to feel drained. He needed to bring the conversation to a close quickly.

“And what do you know of my plans for Konoha?” Orochimaru questioned.

“I know when you plan for it to take place,” said Sasuke, “and I know who your target is. I also know about your little spy. One word to the Hokage, and your plan falls apart. Stay out of my way, and you’ll have nothing to worry about from me.”

“And I should just trust that you will stand by and allow my attack on your home?”

“My brother is my only priority. What happens to the village isn’t my concern.”

There was a silence between them. The black flames continued to burn around him, and Orochimaru judged him silently under his shrewd gaze.

Sasuke remembered then, suddenly, the day he had finally mastered his Lightning jutsu, Kirin. He remembered the way the sky had bent to his will, lightning molding in his hand as he directed it down to the earth. He remembered the pride that Orochimaru had looked at him with – as if he had actually cared.

( _"Impressive, Sasuke-kun. It seems I chose the correct Uchiha after all.")_

He wasn’t sure why he chose now to recall such a thing.

“Do you accept the terms of our deal?” he asked.

Orochimaru’s lips turned up. He looked aggravated – but also reluctantly impressed. “Do I have a choice?”

The question was rhetorical, so Sasuke didn’t answer it. Instead, he directed his eyes to the ring of fire at Orochimaru’s feet. The red in his eyes faded, and with it, so did the black flames.

“Then we have an agreement,” said Sasuke. “Be careful not to break it.”

Orochimaru’s smirk widened, revealing the sharpened edges of his teeth. He inclined his head.

And that was the moment Naruto came crashing loudly through the trees.

 

* * *

 

Sakura ran faster than she ever had in her life. She ran faster than the time her mother had threatened her long hair with a pair of scissors, or all those times she and Ino had raced for the seat next to Sasuke. She pushed her feet until the ligaments in her legs burned, her chest becoming tight and her air becoming thin.

 _Run_. Sasuke’s order rang loud inside her, echoing through her head with every footfall. _Run_.

Her memory had always been better than her peers. It served her well now, leading her through the trees with ease. A primal fear ran through her, colder and darker than anything she’d ever known, but she pushed her feet forward and forced herself on. _Run. Run._

She had been utterly useless back there. Nothing more than dead weight for Sasuke to drag behind him. Looking into those golden eyes, the reality of her own death reflected back at her, she had been paralyzed. Frozen.

 _Run_.

She couldn’t fight. But she could run. She could do as Sasuke said. If this was the one thing she could do, then she would do it.

It felt like she had been running for hours, for days, when she finally spotted the fence ahead, steadily growing closer. Her eyes immediately searched out the proctor of the Exam. She found her walking toward the entrance of the forest, her face troubled.

“Anko-san! Anko-san!”

Anko's head snapped up at her cry, frowning. “What are you doing here? Where's the rest of your team?”

“Anko-san, please,” Sakura begged. Finally reaching the fence, she stared desperately at the woman standing on the other side. “You have to help us! Some – some _person_ just attacked us. I thought it was a woman at first – but then her face – it just melted right off…”

A spark went through Anko's eyes, something Sakura couldn’t read passing over her face.

“What did you just say?” she demanded, and her voice was sharp in a way it hadn’t been before.

“ _Please_ ,” Sakura repeated. Her eyes stung. “I left Sasuke-kun all alone…”

Fear for her teammate coiled in her chest, crawled up her throat and choked her. Sasuke was powerful… but even he couldn’t take on that monster. He was going to be killed…

Anko’s lips pressed together, her face smoothing out. Her previous shock was now replaced by a cold determination. She reached forward, quickly unlocking the chains around the fence before stepping through.

“Alright, kid,” she said. “Take me to them.”

 

* * *

 

When Anko appeared on the scene, Naruto had just launched himself at Orochimaru and Sasuke was considering the best way to knock him out.

 _Idiot!_ he thought, as Orochimaru easily blocked his attack. His freakishly long tongue wrapped around the boy’s ankle, leaving him dangling upside-down. _You always ruin everything!_

“We had a deal!” Sasuke reminded the Sannin, his eyes narrowed. “Release him and leave!”

“Our deal referred to you specifically, “ said Orochimaru. “You said nothing of your friends.”

“Then this is me expanding upon it!”

That was when Anko and Sakura came bursting through the trees at the opposite side of the clearing. Anko stared up at Orochimaru, disgust in every line of her face.

“Release him now!”

Orochimaru turned his face down in her direction, and pleased surprise passed over his face. “Anko,” he greeted. “What a surprise. I wasn’t expecting our reunion to happen so soon.”

His tongue disengaged from Naruto’s ankle, snapping back into his mouth. Naruto fell through the air, yelling and flailing.

He hit the ground with a heavy thud. Sakura called out his name, rushing over to him.

Sasuke didn’t move. He kept his eyes locked on Orochimaru.

“Leave these kids alone,” Anko demanded. “They’re no challenge for you. Face me instead, and we’ll end this here and now.”

Orochimaru cocked his head at her. “Very confident, aren’t you?”

Her lips twisted into a sneer. “I learned from the best,” she replied, and somehow made it sound like an insult.

“Well then.” The Sannin stepped forward, balancing on the very edge of the branch. “Why don’t you show your teacher what you’ve managed to remember?”

Anko moved immediately. Three senbon appearing between her fingers, she flung them at Orochimaru. He swerved, his tongue snapping out toward her, but she jumped, bracing herself on the trunk of a tree before dodging again.

Sasuke watched them trade blows from the ground, his eyes following their quick movements. It was easy to tell by how they anticipated each other’s attacks that they were very familiar with each other. Sasuke recognized some of his own fighting style in the way Anko moved – proof that they had been students of the same master.

“ _Sen'ei Jashu_!” Anko yelled. Snakes burst from beneath her sleeves, striking out quickly. She snapped her head down toward them.

“What are you brats still doing here? Get away!”

Sakura didn’t hesitate. She grabbed Naruto beneath his arms and began pulling him deeper into the forest.

“Sasuke-kun, help!” she cried. “Hurry up!”

Sasuke paused for a moment, before following after her. Anko wouldn’t defeat Orochimaru – he was too powerful. And he had done what he needed. There was no need for him to linger.

Quickly taking Naruto’s weight to drag himself, the two of them retreated from the battle. They weaved through the trees for at least ten minutes before Sasuke finally gestured for them to stop. He couldn’t hear Orochimaru and Anko anymore.

Breathing heavily, Sakura collapsed to the ground. “Is he alright?” she asked, looking at Naruto with worried eyes.

“He’s just knocked out. He’ll be fine.”

“Who was that woman – guy?” she corrected herself, lips turning down at the edges. “Why was he interested in you? At first I thought he was just after our scroll – but he said he was interested in your _power_? What did he mean?”

Sasuke considered lying, but decided the truth was best in this case. Or rather, a partial version of it.

“It’s possible he meant my Sharingan,” he said. “He seemed rather fixated on the fact that I was an Uchiha.”

“The Sharingan,” Sakura repeated. “That’s your clan’s Kekkai Genkai, right?”

“The Sharingan's always been coveted. People have been trying to get their hands on it for generations. It wouldn’t surprise me if that was what he was after.”

“I’m sorry I left you behind,” Sakura said softly, after a moment.

“I told you to. It’s not like you would’ve been any use in a fight against someone like that.”

Sasuke hadn’t said it to be insulting – it was just a fact. Still, Sakura wilted. He forced himself to ignore the shame emanating from her. It wasn’t his job to make her feel better.

“What did you mean before?” she asked. “When you told him you had a deal?”

Sasuke shrugged casually. “I told him if he left us alone then I’d give him our scroll.”

The lie came quickly, easily. He was getting better at this.

Sakura gave him a sharp, surprised look. It was the same look she’d given him the first time, when he’d behaved like a coward and tried to hand over their scroll.

“I wasn’t actually going to do it,” he said with a scowl. “I was just buying time until you came back. Of course, Naruto had to come running in and nearly screw the whole thing up.”

He scowled down at the blond head laid against his knees, resisting the urge to scoot away and let his face land in the dirt. _Dumbass._

There was a loud explosion from somewhere in the distance. Sasuke and Sakura swiveled their heads toward the sound. The leaves of the trees were disturbed by the force of it, sending several birds squawking.

“What do you think that was?” Sakura whispered. The explosion had died down, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. “Do you think it was Anko-san?”

“Maybe,” said Sasuke. “Or it could have been the other competitors.”

Sakura stared into the trees, biting her lip. Sasuke lifted his eyes to the sun, noticing how low it was on the horizon. It was getting dark.

“We should bunk down for the night,” he said. He gestured toward Naruto. “This idiot sure isn’t waking up any time soon.”

“Is that safe?” Sakura asked. “What if one of the other teams finds us?”

“One of us will have to stay up and keep watch.”

Sakura nodded. She helped him drag Naruto against one of the trees, and the two of them began to settle down for the night.

“Sasuke-kun?” Sakura said quietly, after it had been silent for a while. “Thank you for saving me before.”

Sasuke didn’t look at her. He remembered the way that kunai had raced toward her – and the sudden burst of panic he’d felt as he shoved her aside. His throat curiously tight, he hunched himself down and didn’t respond.

High up on the branch of a tree, hidden within the leaves, a single crow watched over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, I'm sorry for the long wait! I'm still super busy, but I promise the next update won't take as long.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am... posting this chapter at midnight when I should probably just wait until the morning...

_Sasuke stood on the edge of a beach, looking out into miles of clear blue water. The sun was shining down on him from the sky, warming his skin._

_Behind him was a cave, which was connected to a series of tunnels. He knew he would have to go back inside soon, to where the darkness pressed around him like a cage, but for now he was content to stand here, stretching this single moment out for as long as he could make it last. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so at peace._

_A shadow fell over him as someone stepped up to his side, staring out across the sea with him. Sasuke recognized the presence instantly and did not react, for he knew him as well as he knew the back of his own hand._

_“You should go back,” said Itachi. “It’s dangerous here.”_

_Sasuke shrugged, unconcerned. “I’m with you,” he said, and that was the only explanation needed._

_He could feel his brother’s eyes on him now, and he allowed himself to sink into the comforting familiarity of his presence. Sasuke did not think it strange that Itachi was here; it seemed only right that he should be with him._

_“Will you stay with me?” he asked._

_“Of course.” Itachi wrapped his hand around Sasuke’s wrist, and his skin was cold as ice. “Always.”_

_The sun suddenly didn’t feel so warm anymore, the sky didn’t seem so clear. It darkened with the threat of a storm and the air had become chilled. Sasuke's heart suddenly felt very heavy._

_“I’ll never leave,” Itachi promised, and something in his voice compelled Sasuke to look at him._

_Itachi stared at him, a serene smile curving his lips, and there was nothing but gaping holes where his eyes should be. The skin of his face was cracked and crumbling away. Sasuke reeled back in horror, but Itachi’s grip was like stone. Twin drops of blood fell from his empty eye sockets, trailing down his cheeks like tears._

_“Not even if you kill me… ”_

 

 Sasuke’s eyes snapped open to a blue sky and the sound of birds. He bolted up violently, but hands were suddenly on his shoulders, holding him against the ground. He struggled against them, gasping, but their grip only tightened.

“Whoa, whoa! Calm down, kid, you’re fine!”

The voice slowly penetrated his panic, dulling it slightly. The ground was hard beneath him, the hands on his shoulders serving to anchor him.

“You’re fine.” The voice was softer now, less forceful. The hands slowly slid from his shoulders. “You were only dreaming.”

Sasuke laid there for a moment, just breathing. He was laying on his back on the ground; above him, sunlight was filtering through the leaves of the trees. Sasuke focused on slowing his heart rate, calming himself down. _Breathe. Just breathe._

The image of his brother’s face, two black chasms where his eyes should be, wouldn’t leave him. He closed his eyes against it, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes until his vision went white.

When he finally got himself under control, he dropped his hands and slowly pushed himself up. The sun was low in the sky, and Sakura and Naruto were still passed out some feet away from him. Anko was kneeling down next to him; it had been her who had woken him up.

She was watching him with a pitying expression – the same way the nurses had looked at him after the massacre, when he’d woken the entire ward at night with his screaming. It made him scowl.

“You alright, kid?” she asked.

“Fine,” he muttered irritably. “What do you want?”

Her pity quickly disappeared when faced with his attitude. This, too, was familiar. People were quick to feel sorry for a vulnerable child. An angry, sullen teenager garnered far less sympathy.

“Ungrateful brat,” she said. “I just saved your hide back there. A little less attitude would be appreciated.”

Sasuke resisted rolling his eyes. “Did you kill him?”

Anko's lips twisted in frustration, her jaw clenching. “No, the bastard gave me the slip. I wanted to ask you about what happened. You said he was disguised as one of the genin taking the exam?”

“Yeah, a woman. One of the ninja from Kusagakure.”

“Do you know what he wanted from you?”

Sasuke paused, his eyes closely watching Anko’s face. Her expression wasn't questioning or speculative; it was searching, analytical. She was studying him.

 _She already knows_ , he realized. _She knows what Orochimaru wants and she knows that I know. She’s testing me to see what my answer is._

“I thought he must be after our scroll,” he began carefully, “but he didn’t seem to care about the scroll or even either of my teammates. Just me.”

Anko watched him with shrewd eyes that reminded him uncomfortably of their shared teacher. “And did he say _why_ he was interested in you?”

“Something about me being an Uchiha.” He made a show of furrowing his eyebrows, appearing to be thinking hard. “He said he wanted to test my power or something.”

Something flashed across Anko’s face – she definitely knew what Orochimaru’s intentions were. But how much had he told her? Nothing about their deal, but she obviously thought he knew more than he was saying.

“He mentioned my brother,” said Sasuke, and he made his eyes go purposely cold at the mention of him, the line of his jaw hardening. “It sounded like they knew each other. Who is he?”

“His name is Orochimaru,” said Anko. “He’s one of the Legendary Sannin, and a traitor to the village. I don’t know what he wants with you, but rest assured that we won’t let him get to you again.”

Sasuke resisted the urge to scoff, at both her promise of protection and her claim of ignorance. She was lying through her teeth.

But so was he, so he supposed it would be hypocritical of him to be angered by it.

 _You got pissed at the Hokage for doing the same thing,_ a voice pointed out. It sounded annoyingly like Naruto. _How is_ that _fair?_

Sasuke scowled. _That was different._

The image of the bodies littering the streets of his compound flashed before his eyes. He balled his fists and forced it away, asking, “Was that all?”

Anko rolled her eyes at his tone, pushing herself to her feet. “You really are a brat, you know? I just came to check on you kids after _saving your asses_. But don’t go trying to thank me or anything.”

“Don’t worry,” said Sasuke. “I won’t.”

She huffed. “ _Kids_ ,” she complained. “They have no respect these days.”

She turned around and began to walk away from the them. “Well, my job is done.” She paused to look back at his two slumbering teammates. “I’d wake them up if I were you. Best not to waste any more time if you hope to get your hands on a scroll.”

And with that, she was gone. With eyes no longer watching him, Sasuke let his body slump as he fell back to the ground, the mask falling from his face. He closed his eyes and tried to banish the image of Itachi, smiling so peacefully as blood trailed from his empty eye sockets.

_I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me…_

 

 

Sakura woke up a couple hours after Anko had left. He was a bit annoyed with her, if he was being honest; she was the one who had been meant to be on watch last night, and instead she had fallen asleep. They were lucky no teams had come upon them and stolen their scroll.

Sasuke spent those few hours further training the body he was in, sharpening his reflexes and building up his chakra reserves. It was a slow process, but he was slowly reaching the skill he’d been at before.

He also spent time thinking about their next move. Sasuke had warned Orochimaru not to come after him, and since he hadn’t received the curse mark this time, Orochimaru wouldn’t have need to send the Sound ninja after them to test how it was progressing. This would be good news, except that it meant they wouldn’t get the scroll they needed. They would have to find someone else to take it from.

It would be easy enough, but Sasuke still felt hesitant about it. It marked the first official change that he had made since coming back, and he was hyper-aware of how every new action he took could now change something – could affect future events in a way he might not be able to anticipate.

“How is Naruto?” he asked Sakura, glancing over at the two of them. “Any change?”

“He keeps mumbling and moving around.” She frowned down at the unconscious boy, pushing his hair from his forehead. “I think he might be having a nightmare. Do you think I should try and wake him up?”

Sasuke squinted up at the sun shining through the trees. It looked to be around early afternoon. If the Sound ninja were coming after him, they would have attacked by now.

“Yeah, get him up,” he said, turning his back on the sky to go join her by Naruto’s side. “We need to make a plan for getting one of those scrolls.”

Sakura shook Naruto awake. He woke up with a start, flailing and yelling. Sakura narrowly avoided a kick in the face.

“Stupid giant snake, let me out, _let me out_!”

“Naruto!” said Sakura. “Knock it off! You’re fine!”

Naruto slowly calmed down. He looked around at them, processing the lack of danger. “Sorry,” he said. “I thought that snake had eaten me again. That was so gross!”

Sakura shook her head. “Naruto, what are you even talking about?”

“I was stuck inside a giant snake. I think it belonged to that creepy guy who attacked us. What happened to him, anyway? Are you guys okay?”

Sakura explained what happened with Orochimaru and Naruto expanded upon his experience inside Orochimaru’s pet snake (“It was probably one of his summons.” “Summons? What’s that?” “Honestly Naruto, don’t you know anything?”). Sasuke was quick to interject once he was caught up, reminding them of their task.

“We need to hurry up and get our hands on an Earth scroll. We’ve already wasted half a day waiting for Naruto to wake up.”

“We’ve still got over three days to complete the exam,” Sakura reminded him.

“Which is exactly why we shouldn’t get complacent. We’re wasting time. Every team that finishes before us is one less team we can steal a scroll from.”

Eventually, he managed to convince them. Standing up, they began their trek deeper into the forest, eyes peeled for any other teams. Sasuke wasn’t quite sure which team they should go after – or how that team’s exclusion from the third round would affect future events – but so long as they didn’t run into Gaara, he was confident in his ability.

Sakura, on the other hand, was a different story. He almost wished the Sound ninjas had attacked them like the first time; at least then she would have gained some confidence.

(Not that he cared for Sakura’s feelings. Her helpless attitude was just getting on his nerves, that was all.)

They walked through the forest when Sasuke heard muffled voices. He slapped Naruto on the back of his head to get him to be quiet, gesturing with his eyes to a large thicket. They slunk over to it silently, hiding themselves behind it. Sasuke peered through the leaves, slipping a kunai into his right hand.

“—still think we should go after him. I’m telling you, he’s been gone too long.”

The voice was female, and definitely familiar, though he couldn’t immediately place whose it was.

“And I’m telling _you_ , Lee can take care of himself.” Sasuke's attention sharpened, his grip on his kunai tightening. That voice he _did_ recognize. “We’re not his babysitters, let him find his own way back.”

_Neji Hyuuga._

Sasuke’s lips thinned. _Great_.

Other than Gaara, Gai’s team was probably the worst for them to run into. Their team specialized in taijutsu – the skill that he was currently weakest in now. It didn’t seem like Lee was with them at the moment, and Tenten wouldn’t be a problem, but he didn’t really fancy going up against Neji. He’d been absent for both of his matches during the Exams, so he’d never actually seen the boy fight, but he knew enough of his reputation to know he was good. He was a Hyuuga, after all; they were almost as elite as the Uchiha.

“Oh _no_ ,” said Sakura. “We’re not gonna fight them are we? Couldn’t we find someone a bit… _easier_?”

Sasuke privately agreed with her, but he shot her a glare and made a gesture for her to be quiet. They hadn’t been spotted yet, but with Neji’s Byakugan it wouldn’t be long before they were.

“I’ll deal with Neji,” Sasuke whispered. It was most likely him who carried the scroll. “Sakura, you take Tenten.”

“What about _me_?” Naruto hissed.

“You help Sakura with Tenten.”

Naruto frowned irritably. “I really think I should help you with that Neji guy. He looks like bad news.”

“You’ll just get in my way.”

“I can create a bunch of shadow clones – ”

“Sasuke Uchiha,” Neji proclaimed loudly. Naruto fell silent and Sakura startled, eyes wide. “You and your friends are terrible at stealth tactics.”

Sasuke stood up from the bushes that were concealing him. “They’re not my friends,” he said (“Hey!” said Naruto.). “And I wasn’t trying to hide.”

“Then you’re far more foolish than I thought you to be.” Neji met his gaze, and his expression was somehow both indifferent and condescending. “To be honest, I’m a bit disappointed.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Can we skip the chat?”

Neji’s eyes narrowed. “I was looking forward to testing my skills against yours during the one-on-one matches. But I suppose this works just as well.”

Neji moved quickly, so quickly that Sasuke barely managed to bring up his arm to block his attack. He stumbled slightly beneath the force, but then he strengthened his stance and held steady.

Behind him, Sasuke heard Naruto call up an army of shadow clones. Tenten flew passed him, the clang of metal alerting him that she’d engaged them.

“ _Byakugan_!” said Neji. The doujutsu activated, veins spreading visibly beneath his skin.

Sasuke ducked the kick that swept over his head, narrowly avoiding the sharp jab it was followed by. Neji moved with a speed the regular human eye couldn’t perceive, and Sasuke activated his Sharingan so he was able to follow it.

Dodge, parry. Dodge, parry. Neji’s strikes were aggressive and precise; his chakra was so strong that it was visible in the air around his movements, and in this body, Sasuke could barely keep up. He didn’t dare glance away toward his teammates; this fight required his full attention.

Sasuke had never seen Neji fight before, but he was still very well-informed on the technique he was using. The Gentle Fist – a technique specific to members of the Hyuuga head family. Being only a branch member, it was slightly surprising he had mastered it, but Sasuke didn’t allow it to catch him off guard.

The Hyuuga and the Uchiha had been rival clans for generations. Because of this, they had made it a prerogative to know as much about each other as possible; _know your enemy_ , so to speak. Now being the last member of the Uchiha, Sasuke had never given the clan rivalry any thought; it had seemed petty to him, and he considered it beneath his notice. His goal of killing Itachi had always been his singular focus.

Sasuke had never cared for the resentments between their two clans; had never cared to test his skills against the Hyuuga prodigy said to be his equal. He had never been interested in continuing his family’s old feuds.

Neji obviously felt differently. That had been obvious from the moment he’d laid eyes on him.

A hit slipped passed his defenses, connecting solidly with his solar plexus. Sasuke bent over with a gasp, coughing. He tasted blood on his lips.

Neji struck again quickly, before he could regain his bearings. Another jab with his opposite fist, this one to the left side of his ribs, followed by a fierce kick that sent him skidding backward. He fell to one knee, bracing his hand on the ground to hold himself up. He coughed, and red splattered the green grass.

Physically, the hits barely hurt. There was no break or fracturing of bone; the force behind the blows was great, but still, they barely bruised. But despite the lack of visible injuries, Sasuke could feel the damage the Hyuuga was inflicting on him. Internal, not external, his organs were taking heavy fire, his chakra network struggling under the brutal assault. Sasuke grit his teeth against the pain, curled his hand into a tight fist, and shoved himself back up.

His hands flashed through the signs with lightning speed. “ _Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu_!”

He spat the flames from his lips when he spotted his opponent’s advance, putting some distance between them as Sasuke used the time to regain his feet. Neji evaded the jutsu with expert ease. He had studied the Uchiha Clan, after all; he knew of their proficiency in fire-style techniques.

Neji sent up dirt as he skidded out of range of the attack. They stood off, ten feet of space between them, and neither of them moved. Byakugan met Sharingan, both pairs of eyes narrow and sharp.

“My eyes are keener than yours,” said Neji. “Study my moves all you want, even copy them if you wish, but my eyes observe more than yours ever could. My victory was assured the moment you entered into this battle.”

Sasuke nearly rolled his eyes at the taunt. _My eyes are better than your eyes._ It was unbelievably petty. And it wasn’t even true—sure, in terms of observational prowess, the Byakugan saw far more, but unlike the Byakugan, the Sharingan was more than simply a tool for observation; it did far more than simply see through his opponent.

“The rest of my clan is dead,” Sasuke said bluntly. “The feud between our clans is meaningless now. I’m not interested in competing with you.”

Neji scowled, his teeth gnashing. But something about the words had caught his attention; something sparked in his opaque eyes, a hint of closer scrutiny. The corner of his mouth twitched into a subtle frown.

“All I’m after is an Earth scroll,” said Sasuke. “Yours works as well as any.”

Neji didn’t react to the news that it was an Earth scroll they were after. It was that careful lack of reaction that told Sasuke that it _was_ an Earth scroll their team carried, not a Heaven one.

Good. It would be a real pain to steal a scroll from Neji only to realize it was the wrong one.

A blur of bright color flew passed him—Naruto. He landed on the ground with a thud, dissipating in a sudden cloud of smoke. _A shadow clone._

Neji’s gaze flicked over to his teammate briefly, and Sasuke used the moment to do the same. Sakura was a mess of dirt and bruises, but she was surprisingly holding her own. Tenten was visibly tiring, struggling to hold up under the assault of her and over half a dozen Narutos.

“Sasuke!” one of the clones called in warning.

Sasuke snapped his gaze forward instantly, barely managing to block Neji's frontal attack. The strength of it vibrated through his arms, and he grit his teeth and pushed back harder.

Neji swept his leg out, but Sasuke jumped over it, which was when Neji’s hand snapped out to grab him by the collar of his shirt, lifting him. Sasuke used his to his advantage, using the arm that held him up to propel his body into a kick, his foot connecting with the underside of Neji’s jaw.

His head snapped back with a sharp sound, his grip loosening. Sasuke kicked off of Neji’s chest, throwing himself into a backflip and knocking Neji to the ground. The Hyuuga didn’t pause for a second, immediately back on his feet.

Sasuke’s fist stopped an inch from Neji’s face, a shield of chakra halting the attack and holding his body in place. He recognized the defense as the one Naruto had explained to him after their Exams, and had just a second to think _oh shit_ before Neji spun at impossible speeds, chakra shimmering blue in the air around them and flinging Sasuke backward like a rocket.

Neji’s ultimate defense. _Shikaku Zero._

“Sasuke!” Naruto yelled.

Sasuke fell toward the ground—but he never hit it. A pair of arms intercepted him, wrapping around him in the air, a body cushioning him as he landed. The shadow clone popped upon impact, the arms around him disappearing.

Another one immediately took its place, standing over him in its garish orange jumpsuit, holding out a hand for him to take.

“Hurry,” said the Naruto clone. “Get up!”

Sasuke ignored the hand, pulling himself to his feet. “What are you doing?” he demanded. “I told you to help Sakura.”

“Technically, I am. The real me, at least.”

“Yeah, well, a single clone isn’t really going to help me, so get lost.”

“Come on. Don’t you think this has been going on long enough? Just let me help!”

Sasuke grit his teeth. “Fine,” he said, though it hurt his pride to do so. He got in a stance next to his teammate's clone.

“So what’s the plan?” the blonde asked.

Sasuke eyed the crater that Neji was standing in, paying close attention to the way his body shifted, trying to predict his next attack.

“Remember Zabuza?” he asked.

The clone frowned for a moment, before realization struck. He grinned. “Got it.”

The clone disappeared in a puff of smoke. Sasuke turned his head toward where his two teammates were engaged with Tenten, and the real Naruto turned to meet his eyes. He nodded, flashing the same grin his clone had worn, and Sasuke knew he had understood.

Neji rushed him, a barrage of blows, and Sasuke dodged and dodged and dodged, the boy’s hits missing him by mere centimeters each time. He lashed out with his left fist as soon as he found an opening, weaving signs subtly with his right hand as he did.

For a moment, he worried it wouldn’t work. Single-handed sign-weaving required an immense chakra control, and he was unsure if he’d be able to master it as a twelve-year-old.

He needn’t have worried. His chakra in this body may have been less, but the control he had over it remained the same. The large shuriken appeared in his hand—a four-bladed projectile weapon, which he held in the center.

 _Demon Wind Shuriken._ The same kind he’d used against Zabuza — and against Itachi.

For a moment, the memory of that final fight was so real that he could taste the smoke in the air. Vengeance in his heart and lightning at his fingertips; fire on his lips and blood on Itachi’s. Fear turning his heart cold and fingers against his forehead—

( _"Forgive me, Sasuke. But this is it."_ _)_

He pressed his thumb against one of the blades. The sharp sting of pain pulled him from his mind, back to the present.

“A shuriken?” Neji eyed him with disdain. “You can’t seriously be foolish enough to believe you could hit me with that.”

Sasuke sent the weapon flying. Neji evaded it easily, allowing it to pass him harmlessly. However, Sasuke pulled the wire-string he'd subtly wove around the shuriken before throwing it, causing the shuriken to detach in four places and change direction. Neji’s eyes widened at the unexpected trick; he evaded three out of the four blades, but the fourth embedded itself in his thigh.

He went down hard, gritting his teeth as he ripped the blade from his leg, blood splattering the grass. He might’ve been able to force himself back to his feet, if the second shuriken that had been hidden in the other's shadow hadn’t made itself known.

Neji’s eyes widened again. “Shadow Shuriken,” he hissed.

Unable to stand, he pulled out a kunai and threw it at the incoming shuriken in a desperate attempt to deflect it. It worked; the projectile changed course, now spinning toward Sasuke—

And that’s when the shuriken transformed in a puff of smoke. What was once a lethal weapon was now Naruto, twisting his body in the air and hurtling toward Neji.

Sasuke smirked. _Just like with Zabuza._

Naruto collided with Neji, knocking the boy onto his back on the ground. He placed his foot on his chest and held a kunai to his throat, exactly as he had to Sasuke a few days ago when he had won their spar.

Neji’s eyes flickered from the blade to Naruto’s face. His expression was blank with shock.

Sasuke walked up behind Naruto, feeling somewhere between irked and smug. He wasn’t sure what to feel – annoyed that the fight had only been won with Naruto’s assistance, or proud that the two of them had worked together so flawlessly.

It had always been like that with them. Even after everything that had gone on between them, everything that had been broken, falling back into fighting together was easy.

“I believe we have a victor,” he told Neji. “Now, you can hand over your scroll or we can take it by force.”

“We don’t have it!”

Sasuke turned at the yell. Three of Naruto’s clones had shoved Tenten to her knees, her hands behind her back; Sakura was shoving herself off the ground, sweaty and covered in dirt.

“We don’t have it,” she repeated. “It’s with Lee.”

He narrowed his eyes at the look on her face, the desperate edge to her voice. “You’re lying,” he decided.

“No I’m n—”

“Tenten,” Neji interrupted firmly. The two of them locked eyes. “Give them the scroll.”

Tenten and Naruto’s jaws both went slack. “Seriously!?” he said, at the same she protested, “But—”

“ _Now_ , Tenten.”

Reluctantly, Tenten withdrew their scroll from her own pocket. Sakura shook her head.

“I don’t understand. You’re just going to give it to us?”

“I am not without honor,” said Neji. “Your team won it from us fair and square. I am not so supercilious that I cannot admit when I have been bested.”

Naruto frowned, leaning back toward Sasuke. “What’s supercilious mean?” he whispered.

Sasuke refrained from rolling his eyes. He reached out to take the scroll from Tenten's hand, slipping it into his pocket. He pulled Naruto off of Neji by the back of his jacket.

Neji stood up, dusting himself off. “Don’t think this is over, Uchiha. I will fight you one-on-one in the next round. And I _will_ beat you.”

“If you make it that far,” said Sasuke. “Good luck advancing without any scrolls.”

Neji didn’t flinch away from his gaze. Sasuke turned his back on him. Naruto dispelled the three clones securing Tenten, and the girl dropped to the grass. Neji made no move to help her, remaining frozen where he was.

“Come on,” Sasuke told his two teammates. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked. They’d been walking for less than five minutes and this was the third time he’d asked her.

Sasuke didn’t see why he was making all the fuss. Sakura didn’t look any worse than the two of them. Sure, her clothes were rumpled and dirty, her face a bit bruised, but she had handled herself well enough. A large chunk of her hair had been hacked off at her chin, leaving it choppy and uneven with the rest of it, but it was only hair. It would grow back.

 _You can just cut it_ , he had told her, not seeing the issue. She had looked horrified.

“Ask me that question again, Naruto…” Sakura raised her fist threateningly, shaking it. “And I swear I’ll slug you.”

Naruto shied away from her, closer to Sasuke. “ _Scary_ ,” he whispered, latching his fingers onto Sasuke’s arm. “Sasuke, when did she get so _scary_?”

Sasuke grit his teeth and shook Naruto off of him. “Stop fucking hanging off me.”

Naruto’s eyes went wide. “Jeez, _language_! You kiss your mother with that mouth, Sasuke?”

A sharp pain shot through him, and he was unable to stop the slight twist in his expression. The levity faded from Naruto’s face immediately. His lips became a thin line.

“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t think.”

“Whatever,” Sasuke muttered. He forced the shadow of grief on his heart away. “It’s fine.”

“What is?” Sakura wondered. “What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Sasuke answered before Naruto could. Sakura frowned, but she let the conversation drop.

Sasuke reached into his pocket, wrapping his hand around the two scrolls he carried. He remembered the first time, how Naruto and Sakura (but mostly Naruto) had nearly gotten them disqualified by opening them; he didn’t intend to let them out of his sight this time around. He wondered how his fight with Neji would change the events of the Exam—if it would change anything.

“But hey!” said Naruto, his tone forcefully light. “How awesome was that move we pulled back there, huh? Did you see his _face_? It was just like with Zabuza! We should team up like that more often! Whaddaya say, Sasuke?”

“Pass,” said Sasuke.

“ _Pass_!? You asshole!”

“ _Language_ ,” Sasuke mimicked him. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Naruto’s eyes narrowed. “Why, you—!”

A giggle erupted from Sakura’s lips, startlingly loud in the quiet forest, and Naruto fell silent. He watched Sakura press her hand against her mouth, failing to muffle her amusement, and the irritation in his eyes was replaced by mirth. He huffed, shaking his head, then started laughing too.

It was a surreal moment. Sasuke stared at the two of them laughing together—at nothing, at everything—and a light, airy feeling rose up in his chest. It was a feeling nearly foreign to him—one he hadn’t felt in years.

The corners of his lips twitched up into a small smile. He smothered it immediately. _Knock it off. They mean nothing, remember?_

The longer he was with them, the more he remembered. The more he felt.

The more he _missed_.

He stared straight ahead as he walked, trying futilely to block out the sound of their presence beside him. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so carefree—and the conflict of that feeling weighed on his heart like a heavy stone.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t understand,” said Kabuto. “What do you mean you no longer wish me to engage Sasuke Uchiha?”

His mouth was pulled down into a confused frown, his eyebrows furrowed. He had been surprised when his master had intercepted him in the forest so they could speak, and even more surprised when he had rescinded his previous order.

A long, drawn-out sigh escaped Orochimaru’s lips. “It’s very simple, Kabuto. Don’t. Engage. Which part of those instructions is proving difficult for you?”

Kabuto felt himself bristle at the way he was talking to him—like a parent speaking to a particularly dense child. He forced himself to settle.

“You told me to keep an eye on Sasuke Uchiha. To integrate myself within his team and observe their dynamics. That was the entire reason I entered the Exams. I don’t understand why you’re now changing the plan.”

“It’s not for you to understand,” the Sannin said. His eyes were calm, but the edge of danger always present lurked just underneath. “Your job is to do as I command. Should you require further information, I shall share it with you.”

Kabuto's eyes hardened at the words—at what he perceived to be a slight against his loyalty.

“You do not trust me,” he accused.

Orochimaru did not deny it. His lips turned up slightly, the tip of one of his teeth flashing. “Don’t take it personally. I don’t trust anyone, not even myself.”

Kabuto pressed his lips tightly together, thinking better than to pursue this line of questioning; it wouldn’t lead anywhere he liked.

He fell back on his previous track, asking, “Is this change of course concerning Sasuke due to your confrontation with him yesterday?” At the questioning gaze he received, he explained, “I overheard him and the girl talking afterward. What happened?”

“Things did not go as planned.”

Kabuto waited, hoping the man might elaborate more. He didn’t. “I noticed he didn’t have the curse mark on him.”

“Yes,” Orochimaru agreed. “That part of my plan has changed some as well.”

Kabuto blinked, trying to conceal his surprise. “You mean… you no longer plan for him to be your next body?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. Kabuto flinched slightly. “Of course I do. I’m simply moving back my timetable a bit. I’m putting all my focus on Konoha’s destruction. My plans for Sasuke-kun can wait until then.”

“Then it seems I am no longer needed where I am. What would you have me do?”

“Lose this exam,” Orochimaru said. “There’s no need for you to advance any farther. And I’m going to need you close in the time to come.”

Kabuto nodded. He knew that was all he needed to know, knew he was about to be dismissed, but still, the question burned on his tongue, compelling him to ask it. “And Sasuke Uchiha? Did his abilities live up to your expectations?”

Orochimaru’s lips curled into a sharp smirk. “Oh, he more than lived up to them. I’d say he far surpassed them. Yes… perhaps it was for the best I could not get my hands on Itachi…”

Kabuto frowned. He attempted to follow his master's train of thought, and found himself growing quite alarmed. “You are saying… Sasuke is even more powerful than his brother?”

Orochimaru shook his head. “No,” he was quick to say. “Not yet. But the potential is certainly there.”

Kabuto narrowed his eyes. He knew there was more – much more. He also knew he wouldn’t be allowed to hear it.

“This potential,” he said. “This power. Does it bode badly for you?”

“It could,” Orochimaru admitted. “But it could also be an asset.” His eyes gleamed frightfully—an unmistakable interest in what was to come. “Either way, it will certainly be interesting…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orochimaru is scheming -_- but let's be honest, when isn't he?  
> And Sasuke is starting to admit he cares... just a little bit, but baby steps are important ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!

When Kakashi entered the room, Anko and the Sandaime were seated in chairs, staring at the television that was broadcasting the results of the second exam. Both of them turned to look at him.

“Ah, Kakashi,” said the Third, drawing the pipe away from his mouth. “You’re here.”

Since the Hokage was sitting, displaying himself to him in a way that was clearly informal, Kakashi didn’t bother to kneel to him as he usually would have.

“Hokage-sama,” he greeted, standing straight and inclining his head respectfully. His gaze moved to the chair next to him. “Anko.”

Anko didn’t respond. Her jaw was clenched tightly, her eyes clearly troubled.

“Sit down,” the Hokage told him. “There’s no need to stand on ceremony.”

Kakashi sat down slowly in the chair across from him. He tried to surmise the reason he was here, but he could read nothing from the Third’s body language. So instead, he turned his gaze back to Anko. She was an open book.

Her hands were clenched into fists on top of her knees. A muscle was jumping in her jaw. She stared ahead at a space just above the floor, her expression a complicated jumble of emotions.

Something had rattled her—enough to leave her scared.

“You’ll be glad to know that your students have passed,” the Sandaime told him. Kakashi drew his gaze from Anko to face him. “Not too long ago. Iruka has gone to collect them.”

Though Kakashi was sure this wasn’t why he was called here, he allowed the news to momentarily distract him. All three of his students had passed the second stage of the exam. He’d had faith that they would, of course, but it still filled him with relief to hear.

Pride warmed his chest. “I told you they were ready.”

The Sandaime inclined his head, a slight smile forming on his face. “Indeed, you did. You’ve taught them well.”

Kakashi wasn’t sure that was true—wasn't sure their success had much to do with his teaching at all. Still, he let himself accept the words. “Thank you for telling me. But that’s not why you’ve called me here, is it?”

The Sandaime traded glances with Anko, who had finally looked away from the empty space in front of her. His smile dropped, his face becoming serious in an instant.

“No,” he said, “it isn’t. Yesterday, one of the genin participating in the Exams was found murdered. His face had been removed. The technique was one of Orochimaru’s.”

Kakashi’s eye widened. “ _Orochimaru_?” he repeated. That explained why Anko looked so shaken. Orochimaru hadn’t been heard from in years. There had even been rumors that he had been killed, though Kakashi had never believed it. “He was in the village?”

“He disguised himself as one of the genin in order to infiltrate the Exams,” said Anko, her teeth gritted. “Yesterday, your students encountered him. I managed to step in before anyone was hurt.”

His immediate response was panic. It was dulled a bit upon learning his students hadn’t been hurt, but he still had to fight the instinct to bolt from the room that very instant to find them.

“They’re alright, Kakashi,” the Sandaime assured him, no doubt reading the alarm on his face. “None of them were harmed. However, Anko spoke with Orochimaru before he got away, and it appears that the attack wasn’t random, but planned. He was targeting Sasuke specifically.”

Sarutobi's face was grave. Kakashi stared at him, his insides cold, and tried to make sense of what he was being told. “Sasuke? _Why_?”

It didn’t make sense. Why would one of the Legendary Sannin, a _traitor to the village_ , be after a twelve-year-old kid?

It was Anko who answered. She pulled aside the collar of her jacket, revealing the three black tomoe tattooed on the junction between her neck and her shoulder. “Do you know what this is?”

“One of Orochimaru’s curse marks,” Kakashi responded. He straightened in alarm as the idea occurred to him. “He didn’t give one to Sasuke, did he?”

“No, but I believe it was his intention. Orochimaru desires to make himself immortal. He covets the power of the Uchiha bloodline.”

That explained why Orochimaru would be after Sasuke, at least. He was the only Uchiha left for the man to get his hands on. There was always Itachi, of course, but between the two of them, Sasuke was undoubtedly the easier target.

“What’s being done to protect him?” Kakashi asked immediately. “Wouldn’t it be better to pull him out of the Exams? For his own safety?”

Anko shot the Third a pointed look. “ _See_?” she said. “Kakashi agrees with me!”

The Third raised the pipe to his mouth before sighing deeply. “It seems that Orochimaru’s goal in attacking Sasuke was simply to get an idea of his power. It’s unlikely that he’ll attempt to move against him again so soon—especially now that he knows we’re aware of him.”

“Which is why Hokage-sama has decided to keep him in the Exams,” said Anko. The look on her face made it clear that she didn’t agree with this course of action. “Because while it’s possible he’ll attack again, it’s also very possible he won’t.”

Kakashi needed a few moments to be sure he’d heard that correctly. They had to be kidding.

“You’re risking my student’s _life_ ,” he began, voice steadily raising in volume, “on the basis of a _possibility_?”

Anko raised her hands in a gesture of surrender. “Hey, don’t yell at me! I told him it was dumb!”

The Hokage was unruffled, remaining quite calm. “We will, of course, be watching Sasuke closely during the Exams. And it would be best for you to keep a close eye on him. But it’s unlikely he’s currently in any danger, and making him think so will only cause unnecessary paranoia.”

Kakashi pressed his mouth into a tight line. He wanted to argue. He wanted to say that the Third was playing loose with the life of his student, and he couldn’t abide by it. But it wasn’t his place to contradict orders. And the Sandaime wasn’t a cruel man; if he thought putting a protection detail on Sasuke would help in any way, he would’ve done it.

He didn’t like it at all, but he bowed his head and acquiesced. “If you don’t intend to do anything about the threat,” he tried very hard to keep the disapproval out of his tone, “then what did you want with me?”

“We’re not doing nothing,” Anko replied. “Measures are being taken to make sure Orochimaru won’t be able to slip into the village unnoticed again. And if he does, I won’t be letting that bastard get away this time.”

Privately, Kakashi didn’t think Anko had a chance of taking down one of the Legendary Sannin, even if he had been her teacher. For the sake of her pride, though, he decided to keep that to himself.

“Like I said,” Sarutobi told him, “I want you to keep an eye on Sasuke. And he is your student, so it’s only right that you be made aware.”

“Am I allowed to tell him this?”

“If he questions you about it, then yes, you may tell him.”

The Third took another smoke from his pipe and continued, “There’s actually something else I’ve been meaning to speak to you about.” He turned to Anko. “Would you mind getting started on those security measures we spoke of? There’s a private matter I would like to discuss with Kakashi.”

Still not looking very happy, she stood from her chair. “Yeah, alright.” She looked at Kakashi before she left and added, “Your student's an asshole, by the way. No manners at all.”

He didn’t need to ask which one she meant. His eye curved up fondly. “I know. It’s part of his charm.”

Anko scoffed, shaking her head. The door closed behind her with a click.

Kakashi turned back to the Third across from him and waited for him to speak. He took his pipe from his mouth and snuffed it out, laying it on the table beside him. It was that small detail that caused Kakashi to straighten, to pay closer attention.

“What is it?”

“Nothing alarming,” said the Third. “You can calm yourself. But I’ve been meaning to speak to you about Sasuke for a few days now, but I haven’t gotten the opportunity.”

Kakashi frowned, but stayed silent. The Third continued, “Just a few days ago, I caught him at my residence, going through confidential files.”

Kakashi blinked, drawing back slightly. The Hokage raised an eyebrow. “I assume he didn’t tell you about it?”

“He… didn’t,” Kakashi responded. He shook his head to try and clear it. _Sasuke, what were you thinking?_

“He claims he was looking for information on the massacre of his clan,” the Sandaime explained. “I’m inclined to believe him, so I let him off with a warning. However, I urge you to impress upon him the seriousness of what he did. If he ever does anything like that again—”

“He won’t,” Kakashi said quickly. “I’ll talk to him, Hokage-sama.”

“Some of those files hold extremely classified information,” he said gravely. “Information that could very easily put this village at risk were the wrong people to know. As a former member of ANBU, you should be very aware of this.”

Kakashi nodded. He understood the value of secrets very well. “It won’t happen again,” he repeated.

“Good. Please see that it doesn't.”

Dismissed, Kakashi rose to exit the room, to go congratulate his students. As he left, his mind circled around the information the Hokage had told him. About Orochimaru—and about Sasuke’s recent attempt at breaking-and-entering. What exactly had he been looking to find?

Kakashi sighed. His student was up to something, that was for sure; and he also had a dangerous missing-nin taking an interest in him. _And here I thought Naruto would be the one causing me trouble…_

 

* * *

 

Sasuke didn’t know how he’d allowed himself to be roped into this.

The three of them had finished the exam on the evening of the third day—nearly two days before they had the first time. Due to finishing early, that meant they had some time to spare before the ceremony that would announce the final test. Which meant that Iruka-sensei had plenty of time to take them out for ramen to celebrate.

Sasuke had tried to get out of it. But Naruto and Sakura had latched onto him like a couple of leeches. There were actual bruises on his arms.

“And then, and then—!” Naruto was waving his arms wildly, talking and eating at the same time. “—Suddenly the shuriken was _me_! And I went flying toward that Neji guy and punched him right in the jaw! It was so cool, Sensei, you should’ve seen his face!”

“Sasuke-kun helped, too,” Sakura pointed out. “Don’t take all the credit, Naruto. It was his plan.”

“ _Our_ plan! Just because he said it first doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking it too!”

Iruka laughed, reaching over to ruffle Naruto’s hair. “Either way,” he said, “it was an impressive show of teamwork. You three have really grown.”

Naruto lit up at the praise. Sakura reacted the complete opposite, her shoulders hunching as if suddenly ashamed. Sasuke stared down at the tabletop in front of him, trying to block the three of them from his mind.

 _This is utterly pointless,_ he thought. He recalled walking with them through the forest, warmed by the sound of their laughter, and he gritted his teeth. _How could I have ever missed this?_

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat, Sasuke?” Iruka asked him. “It’s on me.”

“I’m not hungry,” he said shortly. He could feel the chuunin's concerned eyes on him, and kept his gaze fixed firmly in front of him. “Besides, I don’t even like ramen that much.”

The noodles Naruto was slurping slipped from his mouth, back to his bowl. His chopsticks fell from his fingers, and he gaped at Sasuke in horror.

“Don’t… like… ramen?” he repeated slowly, as if Sasuke had just announced he was quitting shinobi life to become a civilian. “That’s not… how can… how do I even _know_ you?”

“I ask myself the same question. Multiple times a day.”

Naruto growled, practically vibrating on his stool. Sasuke turned away from him. Any further words between them would just devolve into pointless bickering, and as amusing as it could be to irritate Naruto, he wasn’t in the mood at the moment.

“Seriously, though,” said Iruka. He was giving him that concerned look again, which Sasuke was finding increasingly annoying. “You haven’t had proper food in days. Even if it’s not ramen, you should have _something_.”

Sasuke clenched his jaw and glared down at the counter. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be alone, where his former teammates weren’t suffocating him, constantly reminding him of what it had felt like to _belong_. He wanted to lock himself inside the house where his parents had been murdered, to remind himself of why he was doing this—why nothing else could matter.

He couldn’t let himself fall into this old feeling of camaraderie. He wasn’t actually twelve years old, and he couldn’t let himself forget that. He was seventeen, and he was going to save Itachi.

( _A hand cradling the back of his head. A forehead pressed against his. Kind eyes and a proud smile._

_“I will love you always.”)_

A sudden hand on his shoulder startled him. He barely stopped himself from jumping.

“He’s right, you know,” Kakashi said. “You should eat something.”

The other three didn’t possess the same restraint he did. Sakura and Naruto both yelped, and even Iruka jumped in his seat slightly. They stared at Kakashi with wide eyes.

“Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto exclaimed. “When did you get here?”

“A moment ago. You should have noticed.”

The blond huffed. “It’s not our fault you’re so quiet! You should wear a bell or something.”

“As ninja, you should be more vigilant.” He eyed them in mock-disapproval. “At least you’re only genin, I suppose. But Iruka here is a chuunin. Honestly, Sensei, I’m very disappointed.”

Iruka flushed slightly in embarrassment. “I was distracted,” he muttered.

“So I heard,” he replied. He glanced at Sasuke, amused. “You’re not giving your old teacher trouble, are you?”

“No,” said Sasuke.

“Yes,” said Naruto.

Sasuke scowled. “I’m just tired,” he said. “And my chakra's all messed up from fighting with Neji.”

It was true. It wasn’t his primary reason for wanting to leave, but Neji’s _Jūken_ technique had left his chakra pathways worn and twisted. The feeling was extremely uncomfortable.

“You fought Neji?” Kakashi asked. He sounded slightly impressed. “And I’m assuming you won, since you passed.”

“Sasuke and I totally kicked his ass!” Naruto bragged, grinning widely. Kakashi smiled with his visible eye, looking pleased.

“Great. Now I have something to brag to Gai about. My students are clearly superior to his.”

Naruto glowed like he was the literal sun. Sakura hunched in on herself, hiding her face behind her uneven hair. She clearly felt she didn’t deserve the praise.

“We were just celebrating them making it to the final exam,” Iruka explained. “You’re welcome to join us. They are, after all, your students.”

The words seemed to have some kind of significant meaning, because Iruka smiled at Kakashi, and a silent understanding seemed to pass between them. Kakashi inclined his head.

“I’d love to,” he said. “But unfortunately, I have something I need to discuss with them. If you wouldn’t mind?”

Iruka looked slightly affronted at the dismissal, but then Kakashi shot a pointed look in the direction of Hokage Tower, and understanding crossed the younger man's face.

“Of course,” he said, standing from the stool. “I’ll let the four of you talk.”

Sasuke understood immediately, as well. Kakashi had just come from a meeting with the Hokage; whatever he wanted to speak to them about obviously had to do with that. And it wasn’t something that he was allowed to discuss in front of Iruka.

It had to be about Orochimaru. Kakashi had spoken to them briefly about him the first time, but it hadn’t been until after the preliminaries. Due to them finishing the second exam early, it seemed the discussion had now been moved up.

Iruka ruffled Naruto’s hair fondly. The action reminded Sasuke strongly of Shisui. “I’m proud of you, Naruto. We’ll hang out later, okay?”

Iruka hurried off quickly. Kakashi took a seat on the stool where he had been sitting. His gaze was searching, intense, as he looked each of them over.

 _Worry_ , Sasuke realized. _He was worried about us._

It was an odd feeling, being worried about. He’d forgotten what it felt like.

“The Third just told me about Orochimaru,” he said. “He said you weren’t harmed, but I needed to be sure. None of you were hurt?”

Naruto shook his head. “No, we're fine, Sensei. Honestly, Neji did more damage than that guy did!”

“Neji didn’t even lay a hand on you,” Sasuke argued, scowling. “I was the one who was taking all the blows.”

“Well maybe if you had let me help you sooner—”

“So this Orochimaru guy.” Sakura raised her voice so she could be heard over their bickering. “Who is he?”

Sasuke looked passed Naruto and refocused on the current conversation. It was irritating how easy it was for him to fall back on old habits, especially where Naruto was concerned.

“He was definitely way too powerful to be a genin,” Sakura continued.

“And too _old_ ,” Naruto added, making a face.

“Actually,” she corrected, “there’s no age limit to being a genin. It’s not common, but some ninja never advance any farther.”

“Oh, whatever! Sensei, who was he?”

“A missing-nin,” Kakashi answered. “A very powerful one. He’s one of the Legendary Sannin.”

Sasuke pretended to look like this was news to him. Sakura looked stunned and Naruto looked confused.

“Who are they?” he asked.

“Three very powerful shonobi,” Sakura answered, before Kakashi could. She turned to ask him, “They were the Hokage's students, right?”

At the mention of the Sandaime, Naruto became much more interested. Kakashi nodded at the question, confirming her words.

“Yes. Orochimaru was a former student to the Third. But he wasn’t well-regarded in the village, and his loyalty was often questioned.”

“What happened?” Naruto asked.

Kakashi shook his head. “That, I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know what led to his betrayal of Konoha, only that it happened. Until now, it’s been years since anyone has heard from him.”

Unlike Kakashi, Sasuke did know Orochimaru’s reasons for turning traitor; he had heard them from the Sannin’s own mouth. And while Orochimaru’s ideals weren’t ones he would ever agree with, he could very easily understand the man's disdain for his old home.

Konoha wasn’t the symbol of peace it pretended to be. Its history was written in lies and blood.

It occurred to Sasuke then that he should probably be asking more questions. A mysterious man had just come after him in the middle of the Exams; it would be suspicious for him to be so silent on the matter.

“Why disguise himself as a genin in the Exams?” he asked. “Why come after _me_?”

Kakashi’s gaze sharpened as he looked at him. “Did he say he was after you?”

“Not explicitly. But he didn’t seem to care about Sakura and Naruto much. He was focused on me the whole time.”

“So he didn’t tell you what he wanted?” he asked.

“He said he was… interested in me. Because I was an Uchiha. He mentioned my Sharingan a few times, so I figured he might be after that, but he never actually said.”

“Your assumption is correct,” Kakashi answered. “Orochimaru has long sought after the power of the Uchiha bloodline. For him, you were an easy target.”

Sasuke clenched his teeth at the ‘easy target’ part. _Little do you know,_ he thought. He forced his face to be calm.

“Does that mean Sasuke-kun’s in danger?” Sakura asked with wide eyes. Even Naruto looked a bit worried, which—Sasuke wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Kakashi shook his head. “You don’t need to worry about Orochimaru. He won’t come after Sasuke again. Not so soon.”

His expression was so sure, so calm, that Naruto and Sakura immediately relaxed. But Sasuke had known Kakashi much longer than they had by this point—and he knew that the easygoing face he wore was almost always a façade. Just another mask he used to hide behind.

Sasuke had never bothered with fake smiles. He hadn’t seen the point. He had been broken and angry, and he hadn’t cared enough to pretend like he wasn’t. But just because he’d never worn one didn’t mean he hadn’t learned to recognize one on someone else.

( _“Nii-san? You look sad.”_

_Itachi's head raising just slightly. A gentle smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes._

_“I’m not sad, Sasuke. Don’t worry about me.”)_

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek, tasting blood. Naruto and Sakura had turned back to the counter, suitably reassured. Naruto scarfed down his ramen, while Sakura yelled loudly for him to slow down before he threw up. Sasuke tried to look away from his sensei, but Kakashi's single eye caught his.

Their gazes locked. And Sasuke realized that while he had been watching Kakashi, Kakashi had been watching _him_.

“Sasuke,” he said. “Why don’t you come with me? I’ll buy you something to eat that’s not ramen.”

Sasuke looked at him, trying to read what he was thinking. But it was hard to read someone who covered two-thirds of their face. “I have my own money. I can get myself something.”

“You just passed the second exam,” Kakashi replied. “It’s my treat.”

“No fair, Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto complained around a mouthful of noodles. “That’s favoritism!”

Kakashi shook his head, a mixture of fondness and exasperation. “It’s not favoritism, Naruto. Iruka-sensei offered to treat you to a meal you’d like. I’m doing the same for Sasuke.”

“I knew he was your favorite…”

Kakashi sighed, but didn’t respond, turning back to Sasuke. “Come on, get up.”

Sasuke wanted to refuse. It had been obvious that Kakashi had suspected something since that very first day, and this was clearly an attempt to try and figure out what was going on with him. But Sasuke heard the tone in his sensei's voice. The invitation might have been phrased as a question, but it was clearly non-negotiable; refusing it would only further prove that he had something to hide.

“Fine,” he huffed, shoving himself off the stool. “But nothing sweet. I hate sweet things.”

 

 

 

They stopped at one of the food stalls and Sasuke reluctantly allowed Kakashi to buy him a few rice crackers. He hadn’t been lying before about not being hungry, but as soon as he started eating, his appetite came rushing back. He hadn’t eaten since those fish he and Naruto had caught that morning in the Forest of Death.

Kakashi ordered his own senbei, sweetened and sugary, and somehow managed to eat them without appearing to pull down his mask. He looked at Sasuke’s plain, non-sugared crackers, and his eye squinted in distaste.

“I don’t understand how you don’t like sugar at all.” He shook his head. “You’re a strange kid.”

Sasuke resisted the urge to snap that he wasn’t a kid, shoving a cracker into his mouth to still his tongue. He was reminded oddly of all of the times he and Itachi would stop for a snack on the way home from the Academy, and how Itachi had never stopped harping on him for his aversion to sweets.

( _“There’s no way. I refuse to believe any brother of mine wouldn’t like dango.”_

_“I think you like it too much, Nii-san.”)_

The memory—one of simpler times, of _happy_ times—caused his heart to ache with a pain that seemed always present. He didn’t know what was with him today. Ever since he flashed back to his fight with Itachi while battling Neji, memories kept throwing themselves in front of his face. Every place he looked reminded him of something—usually his brother.

It reminded him of how he’d been after he killed Itachi. He could feel himself slowly unraveling, and he couldn’t allow that to happen. He couldn’t afford to stumble, not even once.

He had to _pull it together._

He straightened on the stool, fixing his expression before he turned his body toward his teacher. “Say what you want to say, Kakashi.”

The jounin raised a barely-visible eyebrow. “What makes you think I have something to say? I can’t just enjoy some quality time with my moodiest student?”

“You’ve been looking at me ever since Iruka-sensei left.”

Kakashi frowned. “How come he's ‘Iruka-sensei’ and I’m just ‘Kakashi'?”

Sasuke twitched irritably. “Because you’re annoying! What do you _want_?”

Kakashi sighed. His face fell into a seriousness that was unusual for him. It caused Sasuke to tense.

“You broke into the Hokage’s personal quarters.” He looked straight at Sasuke when he said the words, unflinching even when Sasuke inhaled sharply between his teeth. “You invaded highly classified files.”

It had been foolish of him to believe the Sandaime wouldn’t tell Kakashi about their encounter. Just because he’d let Sasuke off without punishment didn’t mean he would so easily dismiss what had happened. The Third might have been negligent in his duties, but he had never been careless.

Sasuke quickly schooled his expression—but not before Kakashi had caught the brief flash of surprise that passed over his face. He leaned forward, his fingers stapled on the counter. Sasuke tensed even further at the close proximity.

“What, did you think I wouldn’t find out?” He gave him an intense look, and Sasuke held himself very still. Kakashi leaned back again, shaking his head. “Sasuke, what were you _thinking_?”

Sasuke resisted the urge to flinch at the harsh tone—and was surprised at himself for feeling so affected by it. There had been only two other times he had heard his sensei’s voice sound that hard: on the rooftop after his and Naruto’s fight, and years later when they had met up again, when he tried to kill Sakura. Both times, he had been too blinded by rage for any of it to register. But now…

Now, he felt affected, and he was surprised by just how _much_.

Sasuke opened his mouth, then closed it again. He felt disarmed by the shocked disappointment in the man’s tone—and in the way it echoed in his memory.

( _“Were you really going to kill Naruto, Sasuke?”)_

Different words. But the tone was the exact same.

Kakashi watched him. He tried to rearrange his expression, but controlling his emotions had never been his strong suit, and whatever Kakashi saw there caused his gaze to visibly soften.

“Just talk to me, Sasuke,” he said. His voice was still disapproving, but it was gentler now. “You haven’t been yourself these past few days.”

“I’m fine,” Sasuke replied.

“You’re different,” Kakashi told him. “I’m not quite sure how, but something’s changed. And I’m worried.”

Sasuke remained silent. God, how he hated this. He hated their worry, and their concern, and their _caring_. All he wanted was to save his brother. Nothing else was meant to matter. Why did they all have to make that so _hard_?

Sasuke gnashed his teeth together with a dismissive look. Kakashi’s face returned to its previous sternness.

“Sasuke, I’m not kidding here. Do you even understand the seriousness of what you did? You’re extremely lucky a warning was all you got.”

Sasuke scowled. He knew Kakashi was right, and he cursed himself once again for getting caught in the first place. If the wrong person got word that he’d been snooping… if _Danzo_ did…

“I know, alright?” he responded, teeth clenched. “It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Then why did you?”

Sasuke fed him the same not-lie he had told the Third. “The Hokage told you what file I was looking at, right? I was just trying to understand what happened.”

Kakashi looked at him with that shrewd gaze that he hated so much. It was extremely uncomfortable, but Sasuke held himself still and didn’t break eye contact.

“Why now?” he asked. At Sasuke’s frown, he continued, “I understand you wanting answers about happened. But it’s been five years. Why is it only now that you want them?”

It was a valid question. Sasuke wasn’t sure how to answer it. Why now, indeed. Why, after nearly five years, would he be interested in asking more questions about the massacre when he never had before? What had caused this sudden change?

For a wild moment, Sasuke actually considered telling him. Not about the time travel, of course, but about the massacre. The truth behind it. Not right here, and not right now—but it was something he seriously considered.

Then common sense smacked him in the head, and he realized just how stupid of an idea that was. He had no proof, no way of explaining his sudden knowledge—and he couldn’t let anyone else get involved, anyway. If he wanted to save his brother, then he couldn’t care about the damage done to anyone else, and that was a philosophy he knew Kakashi would never agree with.

“I don’t know,” he finally answered. “I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking lately.”

Kakashi studied him for a long moment. Sasuke stared down at the table, trying not to betray how uncomfortable he found the intense scrutiny. Eventually, he felt the man’s sharp gaze drop, and some of the tension left him.

“I know I’m not the best teacher,” said Kakashi. Sasuke's eyes lifted to look at him. “You’re the first students I’ve ever had, so it’s a bit of a learning process for me. But I’m here for you.”

Sasuke’s eyes cut away quickly before Kakashi could spot the emotion in them. He remembered standing on the edge of darkness, caught between jumping and turning back. He remembered a hand reaching out to him, offering him a line to cling to.

He remembered choosing to turn his back on it. He remembered choosing to fall. He didn’t think he had ever stopped.

“You’re not alone, Sasuke,” Kakashi told him.

 _But I am,_ Sasuke thought. There was no self-pity in the thought, no sadness. It was a resolution. _I am alone. This is the path I chose._

The path free of bonds, of attachments. He had broken those bonds himself, and broken was the way they had to remain. They were weights intent on holding him in place, on keeping him from doing what needed to be done, and he couldn’t allow them to bury him.

“I _am_ alone,” he corrected. He turned to look at Kakashi, and his gaze was like ice. “It’s easier that way.”

He pushed himself from the stool and spun around, leaving his stricken sensei behind him. The faces of his teammates shined brightly in his memory, and he burned them from his mind. Burned them until all that was left was ashes and smoke, and the image of Itachi’s last smile.

( _“Forgive me, Sasuke. But this is it.”)_

He’d made his choice a long time ago. He’d known exactly what it would take to succeed. Solitude was the path he had chosen—and he would follow it straight to his death if it meant his brother was alive at the end of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is somewhat of a filler chapter, however, there are two points to it. First, it showcases where Kakashi is at in regards to Sasuke. He's been suspicious something was wrong since the first chapter, but there hasn't been any more in regards to him since the first two parts of the exam had to be dealt with first.
> 
> Second, this chapter explores Sasuke's mindset going forward, and how he's dealing with all of his memories of being twelve and being seventeen meshing together. Answer? Not well.
> 
> He let himself have a moment with his team last chapter, but now he's closing himself off again. Because with him it's always one step forward, three steps back... :(
> 
> I'm going to be going on vacation near the end of June. I'm going to try to get the next chapter written before then, but if not, then it will be up about the same time next month.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit later than I promised... but it's also about 1,500 words longer than my chapters usually are, so hopefully that makes up for it :)

The crow returned to Itachi exactly six days after he had sent it out.

He and Kisame had just completed a mercenary mission for Iwagakure. They had decided to take shelter and bunk down for the night when Itachi had spotted the bird in the distance. Immediately recognizing it as one of his, he had separated himself from his partner, walking until he was well out of sight.

Kisame hadn’t asked where he was going. The two of them had an unspoken agreement that if it didn’t have to do with the mission, then they didn’t ask questions.

Itachi held out his arm and the crow landed on it, its clawed feet piercing through the fabric of his cloak. The message it had held on its back when Itachi sent it out was absent, which meant it had succeeded in delivering it to the Hokage.

Itachi allowed himself the smallest breath of relief. It was always risky for him to contact Konoha with the constant scrutiny he was under, but this time the intel he'd held had been too important. The Sandaime had needed to know that the Akatsuki were moving forward with their plan to capture the Tailed Beasts—and that they were starting with the Kyuubi.

Checking up on his brother hadn’t been his reason for sending the crow out. But he'd wanted to be sure that the Third was keeping his promise.

_Keep him safe. Or I’ll be back._

Itachi locked eyes with the crow perched on his arm. Dark eyes flaring a bright red, he delved into the bird’s mind.

The intrusion was met without resistance. The creature let him in willingly. Images began to crystallize around him, bright and vivid, and Itachi filtered through them quickly, searching for the particular memory he wanted.

He found himself on the branch of a tree, staring down at two figures far below him. Crows had spectacular eyesight, better than any human, so even from so far away, every detail was crystal clear. Through the eyes of his crow, Itachi watched the memory play out in the blink of an eye.

He wasn’t at an angle where he could see his brother’s face, but Orochimaru was instantly recognizable. He watched as Sasuke spat flames in the Sannin’s direction, giving his pink-haired teammate time to escape. He watched the two of them converse, too far away to hear what they were saying.

He watched black flames erupt at the older man's feet, spreading around him like a halo of fire.

 _Amaterasu_.

He saw it all in the space of a second, and then his mind was once again his own, feet on the ground, sharp talons digging into his skin. His arm dropped, the red fading from his eyes. The crow let out a loud caw, before it flapped its wings and flew free.

For a moment, Itachi stood there as his mind processed what he had seen. His mind felt pulled in two different directions. He tried to focus on one, but his thoughts immediately pulled him back to the other.

Orochimaru was after his brother. He hadn’t been able to take what he wanted from Itachi, so he had changed targets; focused his goal on someone younger, someone weaker. Itachi wished he could say he was surprised, but he honestly wasn’t. He should have expected something like this.

_I should’ve killed him when I had the chance._

The Sannin’s interest in Sasuke was a worrying one. A dangerous one. And Itachi knew it was the part of the memory that he should be focused on. But Sasuke hadn’t looked scared, hadn’t looked frightened; his stance had been a confident one as he'd looked at the man, black flames catching fire at his feet.

_Black flames._

Itachi’s mind kept getting stuck on that part. He hadn’t been close enough to hear Sasuke say the word, but he didn’t need to hear it to know what it was. Only one jutsu made flames such as those.

But it wasn’t possible. It _couldn’t_ be. Amaterasu could only be used if—

Somehow, his twelve-year-old brother had awakened the Mangekyou. And Itachi had no idea how he could have done it.

 

* * *

 

All three of them were surprised to see Team Gai in the lineup when they showed up to the ceremony the following day. Sasuke blinked when he entered the building, met with the unexpected sight of Neji Hyuuga sending him a cool glare from about five yards away.

“ _What are they doing here_?” Naruto hissed in a harsh whisper, as the three of them walked to take their place among the rest of the contestants. “We _stole their scroll_! They shouldn’t have passed!”

Sasuke kept his eyes forward as they came to stand near the front, where the Hokage stood facing them. He could feel Neji’s eyes on his back.

“I don’t know,” he answered. He had also been sure they wouldn’t make it to the next round. “They must have managed to steal two more scrolls.”

It was unexpected, but it wasn't really an issue. Sasuke didn’t dwell on it. He directed his gaze to behind the Sandaime, to where the jounin sensei were standing. He avoided looking at Kakashi, instead looking slightly to the right of him, where the jounin-sensei from Otogakure stood.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the man. He had to admit, the disguise was good. Much better than his others. If it hadn’t been for the signature slitted eyes, Sasuke wouldn’t even have recognized him.

Their gazes caught. Orochimaru stared back at him through the eyes of his disguise, and his lips curled up into a sinister smirk.

Those eyes seemed to taunt him, to lock him in place. _Just try and stop me_ , they seemed to say.

Sasuke thought of Anko’s earlier words in the forest about protecting him, keeping Orochimaru away. He held back a derisive snort. _Konoha security at its finest._

The Hokage began to speak, congratulating them on passing the second stage of the Exam. Sasuke forced his eyes away from his former teacher. Breaking his gaze was like trying to escape quicksand.

“Ino-pig isn’t here,” Sakura said from his right. A troubled frown marred her face. “Maybe Team Gai stole a scroll from them?”

Sasuke forced his attention to refocus on his teammates' conversation. A quick survey of the competitors showed Team Ten to be absent. Sasuke tried to remember if they had made it to the final round originally, but his memories of that time weren’t the best. Shikamaru had been made a chuunin, hadn’t he? Which meant they had to have advanced the first time.

Not this time. Team Seven had stolen Team Gai’s scroll, so they must’ve stolen theirs from Team Ten afterwards.

“I can’t believe Ino didn’t tell me she failed the Exam,” said Sakura with a huff. “I just saw her yesterday, and she didn’t say anything.”

“She was probably too embarrassed,” said Naruto. “Girls are like that, you know.”

Sakura’s face became dark as she turned narrowed eyes on him. “ _Excuse_ me?” she said lowly, and Naruto went quickly pale, an expression of _oh shit_ flitting across his face.

“Not—I didn’t mean you, Sakura-chan! I meant normal girls, you know—”

“ _Normal_?!”

The Hokage was now explaining the true purpose behind holding the Chuunin Exams. Sasuke tuned into his words, because even listening to something he’d already heard was better than listening to the pointless drivel going on beside him.

It was easier to ignore them now, after the resolution he’d made yesterday. Easier to block out their voices with the reminder that he _didn’t care_.

“There is no question that these exams are to select shinobi worthy of becoming chuunin,” the Third was saying. “But on the other hand, these exams also provide a venue for shinobi who carry their nation’s pride on their backs to fight for their lives.”

Sasuke frowned slightly at that statement, as he considered the symbol on his own back. It wasn’t the pride of his nation he displayed so proudly on his back—it was the pride of his clan. Because as long as Konoha had existed, the Uchiha had always been held apart. The village and the clan had always been separate, when they should have been the same.

The Sandaime continued speaking. Sasuke let his attention drift off again. Sarutobi called for any genin that wished to drop out of the Exams, and Kabuto raised his hand just as before. He attempted to catch Sasuke’s eye as he left the arena, but Sasuke refused to meet his gaze.

After that, it was onto explaining the preliminaries. This time, he didn’t have Sakura pleading with him, imploring him to quit. The first match would be him against Yoroi—Kabuto's teammate, and one of Orochimaru’s spies.

They hadn’t fought in the Forest of Death this time around, so Yoroi held no personal grudge against him. However, he’d probably been advised by Orochimaru to try and draw out Sasuke’s strength. Without the curse mark flaring up every time he used his chakra, the match would be easy, though he still had to be careful about what jutsus he used.

Sasuke cast his eyes up to the platform near the walls. There were a few people already gathered there. Sasuke spotted a few ANBU masks, partially concealed by shadow. And also—

Sasuke froze, his entire body locked in place. In the stands stood a familiar man, his arm and left side of his face wrapped in bandages.

 _Danzo_.

Sasuke hadn’t been expecting it—hadn’t been _prepared_ —and the rage hit him, sudden and swift. It was like a tidal wave crashing over his head; it knocked the air from his lungs, and for a moment, all he could do was drown.

_(“Itachi killed every member of the clan that night… by order of the Hidden Leaf.”)_

“Sasuke-kun?” There was a light pressure on his shoulder. Sakura’s hand. She stared at him with concerned eyes. “Are you okay?”

Sasuke didn’t look at her, didn’t answer. Her voice seemed to echo from far away. Rage had caused his vision to tunnel.

_(“Just as I thought, you were more valued than the rest. Itachi… I never thought he would be the kind of man to reveal his secrets so easily.”_

_“Does that mean it’s the truth?!”)_

Sasuke stared up at Danzo, and his hands shook violently. Something seemed to fall loose in his mind. _Why is he here? He shouldn’t be here. He wasn’t here before._

Except, Sasuke couldn’t say with certainty that this was true. He didn’t remember Danzo ever being present during the Exams, but he hadn’t even known who Danzo was then. It was very possible that Danzo had been there—Sasuke just hadn’t had a reason to notice him.

Because if Danzo _hadn’t_ been there before—if he was here now because of something Sasuke had changed—then that meant—

_(“You may have the same eyes as your brother, but you perceive things differently. You do not value Itachi’s sacrifice—”)_

“Hey!” Naruto rammed him in the shoulder—hard enough to knock his thoughts off their course. “Seriously, what’s up with you? You look like you’re about to murder someone.”

Sasuke tore his eyes away from Danzo. With difficulty, he schooled his face into something less open. “Yeah,” he said. “ _You_ , if you don’t be quiet.”

Naruto huffed at him, crossing his arms across his chest. “What is _up_ with you lately? You’ve been a real bastard since yesterday. Like, even more than usual—”

“Nothing is _up_ with me,” he responded, his tone cold. “I’ve just decided you aren’t worth my time. Pay attention. They’re announcing the first fight.”

Ignoring both of his teammates' wounded expressions, he turned his gaze to the screen above him. It announced the match between him and Yoroi, and he could feel several gazes fall on him.

He didn’t check to see if Danzo’s was one of them. His skin was crawling, like there was a hundred ants swarming beneath it, and if he looked at him again, then the cork in his emotions was going to pop.

_(“Instead you just throw your anger at anything and everything. You have wasted the Uchiha clan's sacrifice.”)_

He knocked Sakura’s hand away as she attempted to reach out to him—an echo of that day in the hospital. The inside of his head was suddenly deafening. He'd been perfectly fine, perfectly calm—and now it felt like he was falling.

Falling like he’d been when standing face-to-face with his brother for the first time in five years. Falling like facing Danzo on that bridge. It was a feeling that left him without any control, and he hated it.

It was the feeling he had felt after the Five Kage Summit, facing his old team with Karin's blood on his hands. Laughing and laughing and _laughing_ , because nothing made sense, and nothing ever would again.

_(Itachi is dead—he's dead—I killed him—they killed him—they did this—I'll kill them—)_

Sasuke took a deep breath. He balled his hands into fists, as the sharp pieces of himself tried to shake themselves apart. There was a vortex in his head, and it was screaming at him.

_Don’t. Hold it together._

The rest of the competitors filed up the stands. Sasuke stepped forward to begin his match.

 

 

 

“He is out cold,” the proctor announced, kneeling by Yoroi's side. “Sasuke Uchiha wins the first match. He passes the preliminaries.”

Naruto began yelling loudly from the stands, grinning like an idiot. Sasuke wiped the blood trailing from his nose with the back of his hand, staring down at the unconscious Sound ninja.

His hands were shaking. His entire body was shaking. The entire match had been an internal struggle—struggling not to go too far, to push too hard; fighting against a rage that wasn’t directed at the person in front of him.

He had been dangerously close to snapping. Dangerously close to activating his Mangekyou and lighting Yoroi on fire. He’d barely restrained himself. Everyone would have seen him—Kakashi, the Hokage, _Danzo_. And just like that, it would’ve all been over.

_I have to get out of here._

He watched, disconnected, as the team of medical ninja placed Yoroi on a stretcher and wheeled him away. His hands continued to shake as he returned to his team in the stands. He didn’t look in Danzo’s direction, but he felt the man’s presence keenly. The vortex in his head gaped wider.

“That was amazing, Sasuke-kun,” said Sakura. “You took him down so quickly.”

“It was impressive,” Kakashi agreed. “Good job, Sasuke.” He smiled, but his gaze flickered down to Sasuke's trembling hands. His eye curved down.

Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets. He tried to look calm, but it was hard to do when his head was being so fucking _loud_.

_(“You have wasted the Uchiha clan’s sacrifice.”)_

Kakashi’s gaze locked with his, briefly. He waited for his sensei to mention the trembling, but the moment passed. Kakashi didn’t say anything.

The screen above them announced the next match. Shino and another one of the Sound ninja, who looked vaguely familiar. Sasuke turned away from the screen.

His eyes darted over to Danzo, standing on the platform on the opposite side of the room. His jaw clenched. His hands became fists, nails biting into his palms.

It was hard to think. Hard to breathe. Hard to do anything with this sudden _weight_ pressing down on him.

He felt suffocated. There were too many people, too many voices. The room was somehow too loud and too quiet at the same time.

_(“You have wasted the Uchiha clan’s sacrifice.”)_

Sasuke tore his eyes from Danzo and spun around. He shoved his trembling hands deeper into his pockets. _I can’t be here._

Naruto called out to him. “Hey! Where are you going? We’re supposed to watch the rest of the matches!”

“I need some air,” he forced out through his teeth.

“But—”

“Naruto.” Kakashi’s voice. Sasuke didn’t turn his head, but he could imagine the man placing a hand on Naruto’s shoulder, holding him back. “Don’t be long,” he said, addressing Sasuke now. “Or I’ll come find you.”

Sasuke gave a jerky nod. Eyes straight ahead, he strode quickly away from them.

He waded through the crowd at a quick pace, not caring for the looks he was receiving as he passed. He felt like he was covered in fracture lines, and the pieces that made him up were now threatening to shake apart. His hands curled into fists, his nails cutting up his palms, as if he could hold those pieces together if only he held on tight enough.

_Calm down. Calm down. What the hell is wrong with you?_

There was a madness in his head, curling around his thoughts and clawing at his brain. It hadn’t been this bad in a while—not since Itachi had pressed his forehead to his and told him he loved him, the words soothing some wild thing inside him.

_(“I will love you always.”)_

The words weren’t soothing to remember now. They only made it harder to breathe.

His chest hurt. It felt like there was a hand wrapped around his lungs. This kind of panic wasn’t unfamiliar to him, but it was different this time because he didn’t understand what had brought it on.

It couldn’t have been just Danzo. It _couldn’t_ have been. He’d been surprised to see Danzo, sure, but he’d known that he would eventually. This wasn’t—he was _stronger_ than this—

His feet hit the steps hard. At some point, he had started running. Voices came from every direction, and he couldn’t tell if they were in front of him or inside his head.

Danzo’s face was burned into his mind. It robbed him of the ability to think. His memories of the man blurred together in a jumble of sound, until he couldn’t tell if the memory was his or if it was Itachi’s.

_(“—must strike preemptively—”_

_“—are Itachi’s little brother after all—”_

_“—have locked themselves into a fate of annihilation—”_

_“—makes him no more than a traitor himself—”_

_“—a way to spare just your brother—”_

_“—did you feel it was necessary to let this filth live, Itachi?”)_

He flung the door open, practically throwing himself from the building. Bright sunlight assaulted his eyes, and it was enough of a shock to make him lose his thoughts. For one merciful second, his mind was clear.

Sasuke clung to that second, to that moment of clarity. He fell to his knees on the sidewalk, and as a dull pain spiked up his legs from the impact, he honed in on that feeling.

He focused on the bite of the gravel beneath him, on the sun on his skin, on the crack of the sidewalk inches from his face. He focused on these things, and slowly, the haze over his mind lifted. Memory faded, and the world around him sharpened, coming back into focus.

His breathing was shaky in his ears. He leaned forward, hands braced against the cement, as he fought to return it to normal. _Inhale. Pause. Exhale._ He repeated the process over and over, hands visibly trembling.

“Are you alright, child?”

The familiar voice came from above him, scraped against his mind like a blade, and Sasuke’s head snapped up quick enough to make his vision spin.

His vision cleared, and the image in front of him sharpened and steadied. A single eye looked down at him, and Sasuke stared with a wild gaze into a bandaged face.

_Danzo._

 

* * *

 

Sakura gripped the sides of the sink with hands that wouldn’t stop shaking. Her knuckles were bone white against the porcelain. _Calm down, Sakura. You can do this._

She looked up into the mirror in front of her. Her face was extremely pale. The portion of her hair that had been chopped off in her fight with Tenten hung in her eyes, and she shoved it behind her ear.

She knew she needed to cut it so it was all the same length. But she’d stared at the scissors on her dresser last night, and she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it.

Her eyes darted toward the bathroom door. Everyone was waiting for her so the fight could begin. Most of them had probably already decided she was going to lose. She doubted even her own team had any confidence in her.

 _You can do this,_ she repeated. _Prove to them you’re not weak. Show Sasuke-kun that he doesn’t have to protect you._

The memory had been burning her up with shame for days now—the way Sasuke had needed to swoop in and save her during the second test, not just once, but twice. The way that Kakashi had praised them afterwards—as if Sakura had actually done anything that deserved praising.

She had been _useless_. A complete failure. She had always considered Naruto to be the failure of their team, but at least he had tried to _do something_. She’d been too scared to even move.

No wonder Sasuke treated her with such disdain. Why would he ever look at someone like her?

Turning the faucet on, she cupped her hands under it, splashing some water on her face. She tried to breathe easier, to calm her jittering nerves.

This was her chance. Her chance to prove she was a real shinobi; that she wasn’t just some silly kunoichi with romanticized notions of what it meant to be a ninja.

She took a deep breath. She looked herself in the mirror one last time. _You can do this. Believe in yourself._

She stepped out of the restroom. Naruto and Kakashi were no longer in the stands; instead they had walked down to meet her as she emerged.

“Alright, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked.

Sakura nodded. “I'm okay. I'm ready.” Her hands still shook with nerves, but she turned her eyes to the stands, searching. She turned back to the two of them with a frown. “Where’s Sasuke-kun?”

“He hasn’t come back yet,” said Kakashi.

“Oh.”

She hid the sinking feeling of disappointment in her chest. It was probably best that Sasuke wasn’t here. That way, he wouldn’t have to see her when she embarrassed herself in this fight. But she still couldn’t help but wish he was here to watch her; having him there with her always calmed her down.

“Are you going to go after him?” she asked.

“I was planning on it,” Kakashi responded. “But I don’t want to miss your match.”

“That’s okay. I don’t mind.” Kakashi still looked reluctant, so she looked at him with a small smile and said, “Please? It would make me feel better to know he was watching me.”

Beside their sensei, Naruto slouched, looking mulish. “ _I’m_ watching you, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. She resisted the urge to flick him in the forehead. “I _know_ that, Naruto. But I want _Sasuke-kun_ to be here.”

Naruto grumbled something under his breath, making a face. He crossed his arms across his chest and stared at his feet.

Sakura turned her attention toward the center of the room. Her opponent already stood there, ready for their match to begin. Kin Tsuchi—she was from Otogakure, the new village that had just sprung up very recently.

She would’ve been pretty, if her face wasn’t marred by an ugly sneer. She caught Sakura’s eyes from across the room, raising an eyebrow.

“Some of us don’t have all day, princess!” she called loudly.

Sakura felt herself bristle. Her hands clenched.

“Shut up!” Naruto yelled back at her. “I hope you’re ready to get your butt kicked—”

Kakashi slapped him on the back of the head. Naruto yelped, jumping. “Ow!” Hand flying to where he’d been hit, he spun around. “Kakashi-sensei, _why_?!”

“Stop starting stuff.”

“She started it first!”

“She wasn’t even talking to you.”

Sakura looked ahead nervously, wringing her hands. Her nerves were back again. _Sasuke-kun, where are you?_

Kakashi stepped up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Don’t stress too much. You’ll be fine.” He gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze. “Just do your best.”

Sakura felt a heaviness settle in her stomach. She knew that Kakashi was trying to reassure her, and she appreciated him for it, but his words only made her feel even worse. _Just do your best._ As if he had already decided she couldn’t win.

 _Prove him wrong,_ she thought to herself, pressing her lips together tightly. _Prove them all wrong._

Sakura took a deep breath. Kakashi gave her a gentle shove forward, and she walked to meet her opponent in the center of the room.

 

* * *

 

Danzo looked down at him, half of his body covered in bandages, and any semblance of calm that Sasuke had managed to regain fled him.

For a moment, he hadn’t been sure the man was even there. He’d heard the voice and had momentarily mistaken it as something from inside his head. More memories haunting him, refusing to leave him be.

But this voice wasn’t in his head, it was right in front of him, and Sasuke felt his blood go cold.

The sidewalk beneath his knees faded. It was replaced by the taste of blood in his mouth, of the feeling of chakra sparking in his hand. Shisui’s eye staring back at him, and a fury in his veins that lit his blood on fire.

_(“I told you not to speak his name!”)_

A sound penetrated his mind. A voice, a question.

He came back to himself. There was no blood in his mouth, no chakra in his palm. He was twelve ( _seventeen_ ) years old, and he was on his knees on the pavement. Danzo’s face was covered by wrappings, Shisui’s eye hidden from sight.

“…What?” he said, and the word felt like it belonged to someone else. He couldn’t feel it as it left his lips.

“I asked if you were alright,” Danzo repeated.

 _Alright_. Sasuke’s thoughts felt like they were underwater. He repeated the word in his head, but his brain refused to give it meaning. _Alright_.

His brain caught up with what was happening, like a rubberband snapping back to its original shape. Danzo’s words finally broke through his mind. _Are you alright._ He choked on the hysterical laugh that rose up in his throat.

He felt his blood boil, felt the scrape of the cement against his nails as his hands became fists.

“I’m fine,” he snapped, shoving himself up from the ground.

There was _concern_ on Danzo’s face as he looked at him, and it was so utterly _fake_ but looked so completely _genuine_. Sasuke had to crane his head up in order to meet his eyes, and he wished quite suddenly that he wasn’t so short; Danzo towered over him, and it made him feel unbelievably outmatched.

This wasn’t true, he tried to assure himself. He _wasn’t_ twelve years old. He’d killed Danzo before. He could do it again.

Sasuke couldn’t fathom what Danzo was doing here, didn’t understand why he was standing in front of him now. He tried to puzzle it out, to understand what he had changed, but anger had settled over his thoughts, making it hard to think clearly.

Standing in front of him was the man who had ruined his life. Who had ruined _Itachi's_ life. Sasuke looked up at him, and he tasted the blood that he had choked on when they had battled. He felt the electric charge of chakra in the air.

“Do you know who I am?” Danzo asked.

 _Traitor and murderer,_ he thought. _Liar and desecrator._

“No,” he answered. “Should I?”

“My name is Danzo Shimura.” He paused for a moment, presumably waiting for a reaction to the name. Sasuke gave him none. “I used to be one of the elders of the village.”

Sasuke remained silent. Hatred burned hot in his veins, and he was afraid Danzo would hear it in his voice if he spoke. It was hard enough to keep it from his face.

It wouldn’t be a problem for Itachi, he knew. Itachi had always excelled at wearing a mask. But Sasuke wasn’t Itachi, and he never had been. He’d never been able to pretend—to _hide_ —like his brother had.

_(“That is the reason I am allowing you to live. For my own sake.”)_

His hands itched for the kunai at his waist. He curled his fingers into his palm.

“I saw you exit the stadium and I followed,” Danzo said. “You looked rather distressed.”

Sasuke imagined how he must’ve looked to other people, rushing out the doors, clearly panicking. He felt a flash of embarrassment, but his anger quickly cancelled it out. “Why do you care?”

Danzo was unphased by his brash attitude, by the clear sign that his company wasn’t wanted. He looked down at Sasuke, and the faux concern on his face made Sasuke want to lunge forward and rip out his eye.

“I actually wanted to speak to you.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“I heard about your encounter with Orochimaru,” he explained. “I wondered if you might tell me about it.”

Sasuke blinked. This was about _Orochimaru_? But _why_? And what was different this time as opposed to last time?

Sasuke thought about his recent encounter with his former teacher, trying to work out how Danzo fit into this. Sasuke knew he and Danzo had known each other—Orochimaru had been a member of Root before his defection, and Danzo had been the one to endorse many of his more sordid experiments. But he couldn’t see how that connection was of any relevance now.

Nor, for that matter, could he see why Danzo was in front of him asking him about it. What was different? What had he changed?

“I knew your brother, you know,” Danzo said, and Sasuke’s gaze snapped up, eyes wide and startled.

His face was unreadable. Sasuke stared at him, mind whirling. _He’s admitting he knew Itachi? What the hell?_

“I was the one who suggested he be promoted to ANBU captain.” There was a look of sorrow on Danzo’s wrinkled face, and he bowed his head. “You can’t imagine how it shocked me to hear what happened. He always seemed like such a good kid.”

Sasuke’s shoulders shook. Rage spread through him, pressing against the back of his eyes. His confusion only added to it, only made it stronger.

He was admitting to knowing Itachi. Admitting that there was a connection between them. It made absolutely no sense. Sasuke couldn’t understand it.

_What the fuck is he playing at?_

“He's a _psychopath_ ,” Sasuke spat. The hatred was clear in his face, in his voice. Let Danzo think it was directed at his brother. “Don’t talk to me about _him_.”

Sasuke moved to walk around him, but Danzo moved to block him. Sasuke had known that he would, and his anger flared brighter in response.

“ _Let me go._ ”

“Your anger is only natural,” Danzo said, in that same reasonable tone of voice that made Sasuke want to punch him in the face. “As is your desire for justice. Itachi Uchiha killed every last man, woman, and child in your clan. As it’s only survivor, it is your duty to make sure that justice is carried out.”

Sasuke stared at him, shoulders shaking and fury in his eyes. Danzo took a step closer to him, and his gaze didn’t waver from Sasuke’s face.

“He must pay for his crimes in blood.”

Sasuke snapped his gaze away. Danzo’s presence was suffocating him, and he took a sharp step back. His thoughts were chasing themselves in circles; he couldn’t figure out Danzo’s angle with this.

“He will pay,” Sasuke responded coldly. “I’ll hunt him down and kill him. What do you care for?”

“It’s a pity,” said Danzo, ignoring the last part of Sasuke’s answer, “that you can’t be allowed to do so. It should be your right to avenge all that you have lost, yet the Third would keep you locked up here. He would have you forget about Itachi—would let the murderer of your kin walk free.”

 _Murderer of your kin_. As if the true culprit wasn’t standing right in front of him. Anger spread in his veins, sharp and scorching; but beneath that anger there was an uneasiness. It prickled uncomfortably at his skin.

“Something must be done,” Danzo continued. “You can see that. And if the solution does not lay within the village… perhaps it would suit you better to look outside it.”

The direction the words were meant to lead him in was easy to spot; Danzo was implying he should defect from the village—and he was doing so in a way that would make it seem like Sasuke’s own idea.

But _why_? He didn’t know why Danzo was saying this, what his goal was. But he felt the man’s words attempting to wrap around him, could feel the subtle manipulation within them. It was something he had learned to recognize from Orochimaru. They had the same way of speaking.

Even more disturbing, was the realization that if he hadn’t known the truth, he might’ve actually listened to him. At twelve years old, the only thought in Sasuke’s head had been to kill Itachi. It was something he felt he had to do, not just because he hated him, but because Itachi had been his responsibility to deal with; his burden to bear, no one else’s.

None of his teammates had ever seemed to understand that—that killing Itachi wasn’t just some selfish quest for revenge, but was also a moral obligation. Something he _needed_ to do, to be sure he never hurt anyone else again.

No one had ever seen that. They had always been so quick to condemn him for his goal, without ever attempting to understand the reasoning behind it. And here Danzo was, saying what no one else ever seemed to grasp, and Sasuke knew that had he really been twelve, had this happened the first time, he would’ve agreed with every single thing Danzo was saying.

 _Justice_ , he called it, not revenge. He was validating Sasuke’s goal—something Team Seven had never done. It was a subtle manipulation, and at twelve years old, Sasuke would have fallen for it.

“Justice must be upheld,” Danzo told him, “however possible. It’s an ugly thing, but sometimes the ends justify the means.”

Sasuke remembered Shisui standing on that cliff, holding out his eye. He remembered the way his body had slowly tipped back, and the horror in Itachi’s eyes as he fell away from him.

“Funny,” Sasuke responded in a careful tone—fury held just below the surface. “My cousin Shisui used to say just the same thing.”

Danzo’s expression didn’t change. His face remained utterly still. “He sounds very wise.”

Sasuke’s fingers twitched with the urge to reach for the kunai at his belt, to lunge forward and swipe it across Danzo’s throat, to watch the blood spill from his neck.

He curled his fingers into his palm. “Yeah,” he said. “He was.”

Danzo’s expression softened. “Many great shinobi were lost to us that day. What your brother took cannot ever be replaced.”

Sasuke’s anger flared bright in his chest, then exploded. It was the last straw, the final tipping point. _How fucking dare you. You piece of shit—_

Power surged just behind his eyes. He was going to burn that bastard until all that was left was ash. He was going rip Shisui's eye right out of his _fucking skull—_

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder. Sasuke stilled, his body leaning back and out of attack position. His hands stopped shaking, and the chakra building behind his eyes fell away. The blinding rage faded as quickly as it had come, replaced by the horrified realization of what he had nearly done.

He’d nearly attacked Danzo. In one moment of blind fury, he’d nearly ruined everything.

“Danzo-sama,” Kakashi greeted. He squeezed Sasuke’s shoulder in a silent message. _Stay quiet._ “It’s been a while.”

The tone was respectful, but there was a note of steel beneath it. His grip on Sasuke’s shoulder was nearly bruising.

“Kakashi-kun,” Danzo responded. The words and tone were formal, but the address was familiar, and Sasuke startled slightly when he heard it. “How have you been? I wasn’t surprised to hear your team was one of the ones to pass the second exam. You must be proud of them.”

“I am.”

The expression on his face was the same as the one on Danzo's—thinly veiled contempt hidden behind polite professionalism.

“What were you two talking about?” he asked, and Sasuke definitely wasn’t imagining the edge that had entered his voice.

“Oh, nothing much,” Danzo responded. His gaze darted down to Sasuke for a moment, before returning to Kakashi. “I found him out here by himself. He didn’t look too well. You should keep a closer eye on him.”

Sasuke tensed at the implied threat in the words. Kakashi’s hand on his shoulder tightened.

“I’ll take that under advisement. If you’ll excuse us?”

“Of course.”

Kakashi’s hand on his shoulder steered him around. They walked away, back in the direction of the building where the matches were taking place. It was only after they were inside, in the corner of the room away from any prying eyes, that Kakashi spun him around to look him in the face. He crouched down so they were level with each other.

“What did he say to you?” he demanded immediately.

Sasuke shrugged, attempting to turn away. Kakashi’s hands on his shoulders tightened. “ _Sasuke_. What did he _say_?”

“Nothing!” Sasuke snapped. He shook his sensei’s hands from his shoulders. “Just… nothing, okay? Why?”

The lines of Kakashi’s face relaxed slightly, his gaze less intense, but his worry was still obvious. He hesitated to answer, and Sasuke latched onto that hesitation immediately, his eyes narrowing.

“Do you _know_ him?”

Danzo and Kakashi having any sort of history wasn’t something that had ever occurred to him. Probably because he didn’t really know anything about Kakashi at all. It was something that had driven his teammates crazy, in the early days of Team Seven. But Sasuke had always been too focused on Itachi to care.

(Okay, so there had been that one time with the mask, but that memory caused Sasuke’s chest to hurt, so he preferred not to think about it.)

Kakashi hesitated for another moment. “Not well,” he admitted. “I just know how he is. He has a propensity for poking at painful subjects. He has a way of speaking that leaves you believing his words are actually your own.”

Sasuke thought about Danzo’s words to him—the subtle needling behind them. He thought of Danzo in Itachi’s memories, twisting his words in such a way that would point Itachi in the direction he wanted—would paint the massacre as the only solution, the merciful option.

_(“If the coup d'etat comes to pass, the Uchiha will lock themselves into a fate of annihilation. Including your innocent little brother, who knows nothing.”)_

He had been able hear it clearly, the subtle manipulation behind the words which had caused his brother to be swayed. The same way Orochimaru had swayed him into leaving the village, gently nudging him in the desired direction and letting him believe that the decision had been made on his own.

Kakashi’s hands were on his shoulders again, forcing Sasuke to look at him.

“Listen to me, Sasuke, you can’t listen to anything he says. He’s manipulative and he’s power-hungry. If he’s showing any type of interest in you, then it’s bad news, you need to _stay away._ ”

“I know,” Sasuke said, thought about his brother kneeling on the cold wooden floor. He thought about the bodies of his family scattered across the compound. “I know.”

“I'm _serious_ , Sasuke—”

“I _know_.”

The words were sincere, and Kakashi was quiet, studying him. After a moment, he nodded. His hands fell from Sasuke’s shoulders, and he stood back up, stepping back.

“You tell me if he comes near you again. I don’t care about what you said yesterday. You have people around you who care about you. _Talk_ to them.”

Sasuke felt a dull ache in his heart at the words. He stubbornly ignored it, and didn’t respond. He let his silence speak for him.

 _This is how it has to be_ , he reminded himself. He brushed past Kakashi on his way back to the stands, still attempting to shake Danzo’s words from his head.

_If the solution does not lay within the village… then perhaps it would suit you better to look outside it._

Because a part of Sasuke couldn’t help but agree with the words, and he hated himself for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SASUKE: I'm fine.  
> SASUKE'S MIND: You're not fine. You're slowly breaking down mentally.  
> SASUKE: I AM _FINE._
> 
> Sasuke doesn't think he needs any help. He also doesn't think he has any sort of ptsd. He's wrong on both accounts, obviously :/
> 
> EDIT 7/24/19: This story now has 500 kudos... Like, I don't even know what to say, thank you guys so much?!?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long everyone! 
> 
> Also, thank you SO MUCH for the amazing response on the last chapter! Usually I get a little over 50 kudos per chapter, but last chapter got nearly three times that much! It really blows me away that so many people are enjoying this story (especially since half the time I don't even know what I'm doing...)

“ _Weak_ ,” Kin Tsuchi spat at her. “Utterly _weak_.”

Sakura was on her knees in the arena. Kin stood behind her, her fingers tangled around Sakura’s long hair as she yanked her head back. She looked down at her with an ugly sneer.

Sakura felt shame burn through her. Her ninja tools had been knocked from her belt, discarded on the ground feet away. Her left ankle was twisted.

 _You promised you wouldn’t do this!_ her inner voice seemed to scream. _Get up! Don’t let her beat you!_

But her body was too weak. Her skin was littered with various cuts from her opponent’s repeated senbon attacks, and her crippled ankle refused to support her weight. She suspected the senbon had been tipped with some sort of slow-acting drug or poison, because her body had grown wearier with each hit that had landed.

Despite her best efforts to change it, she was in the same position she always was. Helpless and defeated, at the mercy of someone stronger than her.

Kin's lips twisted into a sadistic smirk, and her foot pushed down on Sakura’s twisted ankle. Sharp pain shot up her leg, and she cried out.

Kin laughed. She pulled again at Sakura’s hair, and the hard tug caused tears to form in her eyes. One of them slipped down her cheek, and Kin laughed louder.

“Look at you! And you call yourself a _ninja_?”

She wrapped Sakura’s hair tighter around her fist, pulling up to lift Sakura from the ground. Her knees scraped against the cold floor, her scalp burned, and Kin kept laughing.

 _Stop_ , Sakura thought. _Please stop._

Surely it was obvious by now that Kin had beaten her? Why was the match still going? Why hadn’t anyone stopped it?

 _I’m done_ , she thought, and hung her head as Kin continued to shake her by the hair. She felt like sobbing. _I lost. I give up._

“This is the best Konoha can do?” Kin asked. Her eyes gleamed, her lips twisting. “I’m embarrassed for you.”

Through the pain, Sakura lifted her head and squinted her eyes. The arena around her was fuzzy, her vision blurred. She looked out at the crowd watching them—watching _her_. Her head fell forward.

How _embarrassing_. How _pathetic_. How _useless_.

Her breath hitched. A sob escaped her lips.

“Sakura-chan!”

Her head snapped up at the loud call, green eyes wide. Naruto was leaning over the side of the stands, and his anger was visible even from this distance.

“You gonna let some _nobody_ kick you around like that!?” he yelled. “Don’t you dare lose! Kick her ass!”

Sakura stared with wide eyes, an unidentifiable emotion rising in her chest. Naruto and Kakashi were watching her. Were _believing_ in her. And—

Sakura’s breath caught, her eyes catching on familiar dark hair. Sasuke was standing up in the stands next to Kakashi; he was watching her too, and there was a strange, pinched look on his face.

Sakura studied that look, trying to figure out what it meant. Was he disgusted by her? Worried for her? She couldn’t tell.

Determination rose in her chest, chasing away the weakness in her bones. A sudden strength came over her.

 _Sasuke-kun is watching us,_ her inner voice spoke again, confident and strong. _We can’t let him see us lose!_

Sakura slipped her hand behind her slowly, careful that Kin wasn’t watching her. Her own ninja tools were discarded on the ground; she slipped her hand into the pouch at Kin's waist, withdrawing one of her kunai and hiding it from sight.

Kin was so preoccupied with laughing, with hurling her insults and yanking on Sakura’s hair. She hadn’t even noticed one of her own weapons being stolen.

She forced her mind to go silent, preparing herself. She shifted her grip on the kunai, so it was pointed up. Her hand shook.

 _It’s just hair,_ she told herself. _It will grow back._

She squeezed her eyes shut tight. And before she could let herself think twice, she brought the weapon slashing up.

The sound of the blade shearing through her hair was horrifying—but also somehow empowering. The world seemed to go quiet in that moment, as she was set free from her opponent’s grasp and went tumbling to the ground.

She pushed herself up immediately. Her twisted ankle hurt like hell, but she put most of her weight on her other foot to stay standing. Kin looked stunned, staring down with wide eyes at the strands of pink hair wrapped around her fingers.

Sakura took advantage of her distraction and kicked her in the chest.

She flew backwards and hit the wall. She landed in a crumpled heap on the ground.

The pink strands of hair fluttered from her limp grip. She looked up from her place on the ground, her expression still stunned.

Sakura met her gaze. “Going down so easy?” she asked, in the same tone Kin had used with her. She smirked, throwing the girl's own words right back at her. “I’m _embarrassed for you.”_

Kin _snarled_ , and the expression transformed her entire face. The three senbon came out of nowhere, and Sakura barely managed to dodge. There were bells connected to them, and the sound they made was the only thing that had alerted her in time.

 _Don’t get carried away,_ she reminded herself. _Stay focused—_

Two sharp needles pierced her right arm. Her eyes widened as she was forced to steady herself with both of her feet. Sharp pain shot up her leg from her injured ankle, and the foot gave out beneath her.

She landed on her knees with a heavy thud. There were two senbon piercing her arm. She hadn’t expected them, hadn’t seen them coming. There were no bells on these ones; they had been silent.

 _That’s the point_ , Sakura realized. The noise of the senbon with the bells was meant to distract her, so she would automatically dodge them—moving right into the path of the other pair of senbon.

“Neat trick,” said Sakura, as she pushed herself up. She pulled the needles from her arm, scrunching the blood with her hand. “But not too difficult to figure out.”

Kin’s lip curled. “Why don’t you try actually dodging them before being so high-handed, princess?”

Kin was right. The trick might have been simple, but Sakura had underestimated it. Just because she understood it didn’t make her able to avoid it. She knew the senbon with the bells was meant to distract her, but as needles continued to bombard her, she continued to fall for it. The mind and body were trained to react to sound, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t ignore it.

Jounin and chuunin had been trained out of that response; trained to stay completely still, even when confronted with the loudest of sounds. But Sakura was just a genin, and that skill wasn’t one she knew how to do.The bells rang as they whistled through the air, and she reacted instinctively each time.

 _We can’t lose_ , she thought, crumpled in a heap on the ground. She wasn’t sure which part of her it was that was thinking now. _We can’t lose._

Her ankle throbbed. There was a slash in her cheek. Her hair was dirty and _short_ , and she didn’t have any weapons. She looked up at the stands, and she looked at Sasuke.

She tried to push herself back up. Kin walked over to her and kicked at her injured ankle. Sakura fell. “Pathetic,” Kin repeated. “You should think about a career change.”

She turned and walked away. The proctor called the match to a close. From the ground, Sakura stared up at her team, burning with shame.

Sakura watched the pinched look on Sasuke's face. He almost looked pained. _Sasuke-kun…_

Sasuke’s face went blank. He turned away.

 

 

Kakashi came down from the stands to help her up from the floor. He pulled her up, and after her twisted ankle nearly sent her to the ground again, he hunched over and placed an arm around her waist. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders, keeping her weight off her foot, and with his support, she slowly made her way back to her team.

“You did good,” Kakashi told her, as he helped her hobble slowly up the stairs. “Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

 _I did awful_ , Sakura thought, blinking back her tears. She thought of all those hurtful words Kin Tsuchi had hurled at her, and she felt them settle deep in her chest. _Everything she said about me is true._

“Are you okay, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked, eyes wide and worried.

“I’m okay, Naruto,” she responded. She didn’t look up; she was afraid her eyes would catch on Sasuke, and she didn’t want to see the look on his face.

She wondered what would make her feel worse—if he looked disappointed or if he just didn’t care. She didn’t want to know.

“Hey,” said Naruto with a grin. “That thing you did with your hair—just cutting it off like that—that was totally badass.”

Sakura touched the ends of her hair self-consciously. “Really?”

“Yeah, totally!”

She smiled weakly. “Thanks, Naruto.”

The fifth match was announced. Tenten against Temari. Naruto growled at the announcement, banging his fists against the railing.

“Dammit! When is it going to be _my_ turn!?”

Kakashi placed a hand on his shoulder. “Be patient, Naruto. It’s only the fifth match. We’re not even halfway through.”

“ _Ughhh…_ ”

Kakashi turned to Sakura. “Come on, let’s get one of the med-nins to see to your ankle.”

Sakura thought about protesting. The rest of the preliminaries wouldn’t be going on for much longer, and she didn’t think her ankle was broken, just twisted. She also didn’t want to seem weak in any way, especially after her humiliation by Kin.

But her ankle _did_ hurt really badly. And she didn’t really want to stand here with all of her former classmates around her. It felt like all of them were judging her—were looking at her in scorn, or worse, pity. She felt like she was a joke to them.

And Sasuke… she still couldn’t bring herself to look at him. He hadn’t spoken to her yet, and a part of her wished that he would. A larger part of her was glad that he didn’t.

_I’m pathetic. And he knows it._

Sakura nodded at Kakashi. “Okay,” she said. “Thanks, Sensei.”

“Don’t worry, Naruto,” said Kakashi. “I’ll be back before your match starts.”

“You better be! I’m gonna totally kick ass, dattebayo!”

To the right of him, Sasuke scoffed quietly. Naruto made a face at him, but Sasuke's back was turned, so he didn’t see it.

Kakashi crouched down so she could place her arm back around his shoulders. Slowly, they turned together to begin their trek back down the stairs.

Sakura winced as she put too much weight on her ankle, staring at the steps in dismay. _Honestly, why did I even come up here first?_

“Sakura.”

Both she and Kakashi paused at the voice. It was Sasuke who had spoken, and Sakura felt her eyes widen in surprise. Hesitantly, she turned her head to look at him.

“Sasuke-kun?” she asked. Her voice was unsteady.

He wasn’t facing her. It was relieving, because it meant she still couldn’t see his face, but it was also frustrating, because it meant she _still couldn’t see his face._

“You have a quick mind and your eyes are sharp,” he said. “But your reflexes are slow, which makes everything else meaningless. You should practice manipulating your chakra to increase your speed. With your level of chakra control, it should be an easy skill for you to learn.”

Sakura stared at him. Kakashi was staring too, and even Naruto had stopped watching the fight to look at him. Sasuke gave no reaction, just continued to stare straight ahead.

“Are you… actually giving advice?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke didn’t respond. Sakura stood there staring at his back, unsure of what to think.  
Was Naruto right? Was Sasuke… trying to _help her_?

She stared at him for another moment, then a small smile formed on her lips. “Thanks, Sasuke-kun. I’ll definitely do that.”

“Hn.”

She turned around, and with Kakashi’s help, began limping down the stairs. She still felt embarrassed, felt _weak_ and _pathetic_ and _useless_. But there was the slightest hint of warmth in her chest, and despite her brutal defeat, she didn’t feel as hopeless as she did only a moment ago.

She had failed. She had lost. But she would get better. She would _be_ better. Because they believed that she could be. _Sasuke_ believed that she could be.

_I won’t let you down again. I promise, I’ll be someone you can be proud of._

 

* * *

 

“That was nice,” said Naruto. “What you said to Sakura-chan.”

Sasuke watched Temari and Tenten battle below them and didn’t respond. Mostly because he was still trying to figure out why he had said that to Sakura, but also because he just didn’t want to talk to Naruto.

He could lie to himself and say he’d done it for his own sake. That Sakura’s weakness and incompetence was impeding him by association. But he’d spent every day since Itachi’s death raging against the lies he’d been told; he’d be a hypocrite if he couldn’t admit when he was doing it to himself.

Because the truth was, he cared. Even when he’d done everything he could to make himself stop.

 _He killed every shred of feeling in his heart,_ Obito had said to him. And Sasuke didn’t understand how Itachi had done it, because he tried so hard to do the same, but he’d never been able to. Not completely.

He’d watched that kunai fly toward Sakura in the Forest of Death, and his first instinct had been to tackle her out of the way. He’d seen Orochimaru holding Naruto upside-down by the ankle, and an ice cold panic had burst to life in his chest.

He’d been _scared_ for them. And that emotion made him vulnerable, made him _weak_.

He just wanted to be _alone_. Why couldn’t they just _let him_?

_(“I can’t become like you and Naruto.”_

_“Are you going to choose to be alone again?”)_

His hands tightened on the rail in front of him. Naruto continued to speak when he didn’t get an answer.

“Well, it was nice for _you_ , anyway. Even if you did basically tell her that her reflexes were shit—”

“Her reflexes _are_ shit.”

“That’s not her fault!”

“It’s _completely_ her fault,” Sasuke argued. “She has no concept of what it means to be a ninja. I don’t care if she comes from a civilian family, she graduated the Academy, she can’t use that as an excuse anymore. Maybe if she spent more time training and less time trying to glue herself to me, she might actually be someone worth fighting.”

Naruto’s face twisted angrily, but he paused as he opened his mouth as he seemed to realize something.

“Hey,” he said. “Was that actually a complete sentence? _Four_ complete sentences actually, I didn’t know you knew how to speak in those—”

Sasuke scowled. “Shut up, or I’ll punch you.”

“No, seriously,” Naruto continued, ignoring him completely. “You’ve said like ten words to me all day. And translating your Uchiha-speak is getting super frustrating—”

“ _Uchiha-speak_?” Sasuke echoed, deeply scornful. “What does that even mean?”

“Yeah, Uchiha-speak. You know, like how whenever someone asks you a question you just say ‘hn,’ like it’s some weird language that everyone’s supposed to understand—”

“I’m the only Uchiha you’ve _met_ , moron.”

Naruto blinked as he considered this. “Okay, fine,” he said. “Maybe not Uchiha-speak, then. Just Sasuke-speak. The point is, it’s annoying! Just knock it off, would ya!”

Sasuke continued to not look at him, feigning a look of complete disinterest. “Hn.”

“ _Ughh_! You’re the _actual_ worst, I hate you _so much_ —"

Sasuke smirked. Even if everything else had changed since he was twelve, riling up Naruto was always fun. And he’d succeeded in deflecting the original topic of conversation, so he didn’t have to talk with Naruto about Sakura.

He was still cursing himself for it. He shouldn’t have opened his damn mouth.

 _Offering her advice… she doesn’t_ matter _, remember?_

_("I love you so much!")_

Sasuke winced at the memory of that voice—that whiny, pathetic, _heartbroken_ voice, begging him for something that he couldn’t give. That he didn’t know _how_ to give.

_(“If you stay with me, I’ll make sure you won’t regret it!”)_

When Tenten and Temari's match finished, and the fight between Naruto and Kiba was announced, Sasuke was still lost in his thoughts—in the memory of a pink-haired girl, tears pouring down her face as she yelled at his back.

_(“I’ll do anything for you. So… please! Stay here!”)_

Next to him, Naruto was oblivious. He cheered loudly, pumping his fist.

“I’m gonna beat this guy into the ground!” he yelled. “Just watch me!”

“Hn,” Sasuke said absently, only partially listening.

“Ugh! Bastard! I told you, I don’t know what that means!”

Sasuke watched Naruto walk down and enter the arena, but his mind wasn’t on the fight. It was spinning in circles, recycling thoughts for his brain to cling to.

It wasn’t just Sakura that was bothering him. His encounter with Danzo clung to his thoughts as well. He kept circling around it, trying to figure out what the man knew. If he knew anything.

His anger had cooled now, had settled. It was still with him (it always was), but the emotion was steady now. It no longer blinded him like it had before.

The settling of his anger had allowed him the ability to think clearer. To look more closely at the situation without feeling like he was standing on the edge of a very long, very dark fall. That darkness would never truly disappear; he could feel it clinging to his thoughts. But for now, it had retreated.

He shouldn’t have been so obvious while talking with Danzo. His anger could be passed off as being toward Itachi, but he couldn’t let himself react like that again. If Danzo was initiating conversation with him, then it was likely that he already suspected something, and that was a dangerous position to be in.

Was that why Danzo wanted him out of the village? Because he feared Sasuke would learn the truth? He couldn’t harm Sasuke, not with the threat of Itachi looming over him, but he could find subtler ways to get rid of him.

Asking about Orochimaru, trying to drive him in the man’s direction… did that mean he and Orochimaru were working together?

It would make sense, Sasuke realized, thinking it over. It would make a _lot_ of sense, actually.

Orochimaru didn’t know the truth about the massacre, Sasuke knew that. He had looked too genuinely surprised when Sasuke had told him about it after reviving him. But that didn’t mean they hadn’t worked together on other things. What if Sasuke defecting from Konoha had been something orchestrated by Danzo from the start? A way to rid the village of the last Uchiha, who should have been killed with the rest of his clan?

If that was the case, then Danzo changing his behavior this time around would make sense. Sasuke hadn’t received the curse mark in the Forest of Death like he’d been meant to. If Danzo was working with Orochimaru, then he would know this. It would mean that his plan wasn’t going the way it was supposed to. Which would explain his reason for seeking Sasuke out.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, his hands clenching around the rail. He had never particularly _liked_ Orochimaru, but he did hold a certain respect for him. The idea that his former sensei might’ve been working with his clan's killer made Sasuke’s blood boil.

_Damn snake. Maybe I should have just killed him…_

“Sasuke.”

Sasuke had sensed the presence a moment before they appeared, so the voice didn’t startle him.

“Kabuto,” he replied.

The older (younger?) boy was standing next to Sasuke, his hands folded over the railing. He didn’t look at Sasuke when he spoke, and Sasuke didn’t look at him either.

“What do you want?” Sasuke asked.

He barely moved his mouth when he spoke, conscious of Team Gai standing just behind him. He kept his eyes locked on Naruto’s fight, and Kabuto did the same.

“He wishes to speak to you,” Kabuto said.

Despite his efforts to not react, Sasuke felt his mouth twitch slightly. _Speak of the devil._ Danzo had engaged him in conversation no more than thirty minutes ago, and now Orochimaru was seeking him out as well? There was no way that was a coincidence.

They were working together in this. They had to be.

Sasuke flicked his eyes over to where Orochimaru had been standing when the matches began, but the Sannin was gone now. Sasuke's jaw clenched.

“And why are you his little messenger?” he asked. “If Orochimaru wants something from me, he should ask me himself. Why send his little pet in his place?”

Kabuto twitched irritably. He was the same as Sasuke remembered. “Orochimaru-sama wishes to speak to you _alone_. I was sent to collect you.”

Sasuke smirked. “So you’re his errand boy, then.”

Kabuto twitched again, more violently this time. His grip on the railing tightened. Sasuke knew riling him up probably wasn’t the best thing to do, but he couldn’t help it. He’d spent three years with Kabuto, and they had never liked each other. It was hard to resist prodding at him.

“Will you come with me willingly,” he said, jaw clenched, “or will I have to resort to other means?”

Sasuke thought quickly, his gaze still straight ahead. He had nothing to lose by meeting with Orochimaru—and much more to lose by refusing him.

“As if you could _force_ me,” he told Kabuto with a scoff. He pushed off the railing and made quickly for the stairs, assuming Kabuto would follow.

 

 

 

“Sasuke-kun,” Orochimaru greeted with a sharp-edged smirk. “Glad you decided to speak with me.”

Sasuke glared at him at the familiar form of address. He’d always hated when Orochimaru talked to him like that. “What do you want?”

The Sannin sighed. “Straight to the point. You’re no fun. Your brother was like that, too.”

“Don’t talk about my brother. Just answer the question.”

They were standing around back of the building where the matches were taking place. Orochimaru was still wearing his jounin-sensei disguise, but when he looked at him, his eyes were just as keen, just as unnatural. Kabuto was lurking uselessly in the background; Sasuke really wished he would go away.

Sasuke sighed when Orochimaru didn’t answer, instead choosing to study him creepily. Sasuke refused to flinch away from his gaze.

“Kabuto,” Orochimaru finally spoke. “Leave.”

Kabuto jolted, staring at his master in disbelief. “But—”

“ _Now_.”

Kabuto turned and left, though not before sending Sasuke a hateful glare. Sasuke resisted the childish urge to give him a mocking wave.

Orochimaru watched the boy go. He turned back to Sasuke, an amused smirk pulling at his lips. “He really seems to have taken a disliking to you, hasn’t he?”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, his expression unchanging. The message was clear. _Start talking, or I walk._

The smirk dropped from his face quickly, and his entire demeanor changed. His posture lost its casual slump, his eyes becoming sharper.

“My plan to invade Konoha,” he stated. “How did you know about it?”

Sasuke remained still. He had been expecting this. “You’re asking me this now?”

“We were interrupted before.”

 _And I had you backed into a corner,_ Sasuke thought. It was a satisfying memory. But Orochimaru was currently projecting a subtle aura of danger, so he was careful to keep it from his face.

But Sasuke also knew that his unexplained knowledge wasn’t what this little conversation was about. Orochimaru was curious about it, but not enough to draw him out like this in front of so many people.

Sasuke wondered briefly if Danzo had asked him to. No—even if they were working together, Sasuke couldn’t picture Orochimaru following anyone’s orders. Not unless they benefited him.

“We both know that’s not why you’re here,” Sasuke said. “The Hokage knows what you want. He’s keeping a very close eye on me now. You wouldn’t risk talking to me like this just to ask me a question you know I won’t answer.”

Orochimaru looked at him closely. His lips turned up almost approvingly.

“You want something from me,” Sasuke declared. “What is it?”

The Sannin’s eyes gleamed. Yes, that was definitely approval on his face. “You caught me. There is something I want from you—other than your body, of course, which I’ll be getting eventually.”

Sasuke looked at him with a deadpan expression. “Don't hold your breath.” He reconsidered the statement, then amended, “Actually, _do_ hold your breath. I’ll wait.”

Other than a slight flash of amusement, Orochimaru didn’t react to the taunt. “We made an agreement. For now, I’ll keep it. This is about my other plans.”

“The invasion?” Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “What about it?”

“You’re going to help me.”

Sasuke drew back, blinking. Shock went through him, and he was sure he looked stunned. _What the hell?_ he thought. Orochimaru looked delighted by his reaction, and he quickly schooled his expression.

“ _Help_ ,” he repeated, the word tense and drawn out through clenched teeth. “Why would I _ever_ do that?”

He needed the invasion to go as it had before—but that didn’t mean he had any desire to be involved in it. Just because he was willing to kill whoever stood in his way didn’t mean that he actually _liked_ doing it; he did it because it was necessary.

Standing in front of Konohagakure's four leaders, he had vowed to protect the village from Madara and to end the war. To carry on Itachi’s will. Even if he still hated Konoha, he had promised to no longer try to destroy it. Not for himself, but for his _brother_.

Danzo, the Elders—they would all pay. But Itachi would never forgive him if Sasuke helped destroy the one thing he held most dear.

“I had to remove one of my key pieces from the game recently,” Orochimaru told him. “One of my most powerful, actually. I need someone to take his place.”

 _Kimimaro_ , Sasuke realized, recalling what Juugo had told him of his late friend. He had become ill just before the invasion.

“His removal doesn’t topple my plans,” Orochimaru continued. “But it does weaken them. Remove one piece, and the entire structure becomes unstable. I need all of my foundations to be strong.”

Sasuke knew this was true. Orochimaru’s plan to invade Konoha had been successful in its main goal—killing the Sandaime—but there had been several setbacks that had caused it to derail and nearly fail. Kimimaro's illness being the first, followed by Gaara not following the original plan; shinobi rushing to the Third’s aid when they should have been otherwise occupied. Orochimaru had achieved his goal in the end, but he’d escaped his own death by the skin of his teeth.

“I need someone to fill his spot,” Orochimaru told him. “From what I’ve seen of you, you’re obviously very capable. Even better, you’re a shinobi of Konoha. You’ll already be inside the village when I launch the attack. And any intel you offer would be exceedingly valuable.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him. “Intel? Isn’t that what you have your spy for?”

“Kabuto has his uses, but he's become too much of a risk. He’s already enrolled in the Exams multiple times, and with my recent reappearance, people are beginning to grow suspicious of him.”

 _And Root still wants him dead_ , Sasuke recalled. _Though if Danzo is working with Orochimaru, he may have rescinded those orders._

“None of this answers my question,” Sasuke said. “I get you want my help. I still don’t see any reason why I should agree to give it to you.”

Orochimaru was silent for a moment before he spoke, as if weighing his own words. “The bodies of your clansmen. Did you ever wonder what happened to them?”

Sasuke tensed. In a subconscious movement, his hand moved to grip the hilt of his sword, before remembering he no longer had it.

“They were burned,” Sasuke answered carefully. “To prevent clan secrets from getting out.”

Sasuke kept his face still, his voice even. Orochimaru raised an eyebrow at him.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“It’s procedure,” Sasuke replied, and very pointedly avoided thinking about Danzo’s right arm. About the eyes he had recognized embedded in his flesh.

_Inabi-san. Hotaka-ojisan. Aiko-obasan._

Sasuke shoved his nausea down, forced his hands not to shake.

“But did you see it?” Orochimaru asked. “Were you _there_?”

“What’s your _point_?” Sasuke snapped.

“I can tell you what happened to them. What the Hokage _refuses_ to tell you. All you have to do is agree to help me.”

Sasuke wavered. He already knew what had happened to the bodies after the massacre; their eyes had been gouged from their skulls, handed over to Danzo as a sick souvenir. He had always assumed it was Root who had harvested their bodies. But now, with the possibility of Danzo and Orochimaru being long-time allies…

Had it been _Orochimaru_ who had given Danzo all those Sharingan? _Orochimaru_ who had desecrated their bodies, stolen their eyes?

The feeling of betrayal hit him hard. He and Orochimaru had never exactly trusted each other, but the man had been his sensei for _three years_. And he had helped Danzo _harvest his clan's eyes_ from their _corpses_ —

 _He doesn’t know the truth_ , he reminded himself, remembering the honest look of surprise on the Sannin’s face when Sasuke told him. _Maybe he helped Danzo obtain the Sharingan. But he doesn’t know Danzo gave the order._

He forced himself to remember that. It was the only thing keeping his anger at bay.

This was an opportunity, Sasuke realized, as a vague idea for a plan began to take shape in his head. An opportunity to get the proof he needed to take Danzo down. And not just Danzo, but maybe Orochimaru as well. Two birds with one stone.

But it was also a risk. A big one.

Sasuke frowned. He looked up at Orochimaru. “Let me think about it,” he said.

Orochimaru twitched irritably, frowning. “It’s happening in a month—”

“Give me a week.”

The Sannin stared at him, studying him with those slitted eyes—the only feature that gave his disguise away. Finally, he nodded. “Fine. One week. But I’ll be expecting an answer by then.”

Sasuke pressed his lips together tightly. He nodded, stepping back. This wasn’t a decision he could make now; he needed time to weigh the risks involved, to decide if it was worth it.

“I’ll be seeing you soon, Sasuke-kun,” Orochimaru said. His lips curved into a sharp-edged smirk. “One way or another.”

 

 

Sasuke arrived back in the stadium just in time to see the medical personnel rolling Hinata away on a stretcher. Her battle with Neji had obviously gone just as brutally as it had the first time.

Sasuke looked at Neji. He was staring at the broken girl with eyes that were filled with resentment. Naruto once told him that Neji had nearly died trying to take him back to Konoha; looking at him now, it was impossible to believe he would ever be the type of person to do such a thing.

But then, people changed. There had been a time when Sasuke had loved this village. When he would have died to protect it.

(Now, he would still die to protect the village. But he would do it because Itachi loved it, not because he did.)

Naruto was standing away from Sakura and Kakashi. There was true anger in his eyes when he looked at Neji, and it was an expression that Sasuke had only seen him wear on a few other occasions. His face was cold with determination.

Sasuke had a sudden urge to walk over to him. He stomped that urge out, turning and forcing his feet in the opposite direction.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him when Sasuke reached him and Sakura. “You know you’re supposed to be watching the matches, right? What do you keep running off for?”

“It's boring,” he said. “Besides, you’re the one who ran off.”

“Sensei was helping me with my ankle,” Sakura defended. Indeed, her ankle had been wrapped; she was holding a cold compress in her hand, standing so all of her weight was placed on only one foot. “Besides, we made it back for most of Naruto’s fight. You should’ve seen it, Sasuke-kun. It surprised me, but he was actually really impressive.”

“Hn.”

“And then Hinata fought Neji—or tried to fight him. It was really awful, he was seriously going to _kill_ her. Did you know they’re related? Anyway, I’ve never seen Naruto so angry.”

Sakura glanced across the stadium to where Naruto was standing, blood dripping from his fist. As she looked at him, Sasuke looked at her. She seemed to have recovered considerably from the loss of her own match; her previous defeat seemed to have hardened her resolve now, rather than breaking it.

“Come on,” Kakashi said, placing a hand on their shoulders and steering them around. “Let’s get back to the stands. They’ll be starting the last match soon.”

If the match between Neji and Hinata had been brutal, it was nothing compared to the one between Gaara and Lee. It wasn’t the fight itself that made it so hard to watch—Sasuke knew the outcome of this battle; he had seen the brutality Gaara was capable of, had experienced it himself—it was Lee’s sheer tenacity. His refusal to lay down, even as his body tore itself apart.

Sasuke had never really spared Rock Lee more than a passing thought, after the shock of their first encounter. But watching this, he had earned Sasuke’s respect.

After the match was all over, all eight of them lined up so that the Hokage could explain the final part of the Exam, happening a month from now. Then they drew lots to decide who would battle who.

Sasuke was present this time around instead of in the hospital, and Team Ten hadn’t passed the second exam, so the lineup was slightly different. This caused different results in the arrangement of the matches.  
Gaara would be fighting Temari for his first match. Sasuke would be fighting Kin. Still, Sasuke wasn’t bothered much by the change. Gaara would definitely win his first match, as would Sasuke; they would still be fighting each other, just a bit later than they had originally.

Who knew—if the invasion went according to Orochimaru’s plan this time, maybe Sasuke could actually make chuunin.

(Not that it mattered much to him in the grand scheme of things. But it would be nice to move up in the ranks. Itachi had been a chuunin at _ten_.)

Kakashi appeared at his side as soon as the announcements had been made. “Come on,” he said, steering him and Naruto by the shoulder. “Let’s get you both home. No offense, but the two of you _reek_.”

“Hey!” Naruto yelled. Then he seemed to actually consider the words, because he began sniffing himself. “Ugh, gross! You’re totally right, we totally stink!”

“Speak for yourself,” said Sasuke. He moved once again to place his hand on the hilt of his sword, before remembering, _once again_ , that he didn’t have it. “What about Sakura?”

“She said she wanted some time to herself,” Kakashi answered. “She’s putting on a brave face, but she’s obviously taking her loss pretty hard.”

Normally Sasuke would agree. But he remembered the resolve he had seen on Sakura’s face, and for some reason, he couldn’t imagine her off sulking somewhere.

Kakashi waited until after they had dropped Naruto off to strike up the conversation Sasuke knew had been coming.

“You’ll be fighting Kin Tsuchi for your first match next month.”

“I can beat her.”

“She’s not who I’m worried about,” said Kakashi. “Once you beat her, your second matchup will be against Gaara, assuming he beats Temari, which I have no doubt he will. And you saw what he did to Lee.”

Sasuke knew where this conversation was going. He’d already had it.

“You don’t think I can beat him.”

“Now?” Kakashi said. “No. I don’t.”

Sasuke remembered how much those words had stung when he’d first heard him—especially since he had known they were true. In fact, even now Sasuke wasn’t sure he could beat Gaara. He definitely couldn’t when he was being forced to pull his punches—when so much of his arsenal was compromised of jutsus he couldn’t let people see him use.

“Give me a month to train you,” Kakashi said. “I can get you where you need to be in that time. But you’re going to need to be with me a hundred percent. None of the lone wolf routine you’ve been pulling recently, you get me?”

Sasuke nodded, already thinking about how he was going to pretend to learn a jutsu he had already mastered. “I get you.”

And so, Kakashi explained to him about the jutsu he was going to teach him, and about how it would help him defeat Gaara. Sasuke made sure to pay close attention, as if he hadn’t heard all of it before.

“It’s a single thrust,” Kakashi told him, “and it’s one of the deadliest moves in my arsenal. It’ll cut through anything, even Gaara's Sand Shield.”

Sasuke nodded. His hand went to his hip again, for the third time that afternoon, searching for a familiar weight that wasn’t there.

“That lightning,” he said. “Do you think the current could be ran through something? To better direct it?”

Kakashi’s eyebrow furrowed in thought, barely visible beneath his hitai-ate. “Possibly, if you had the right conductor.” He peered down at Sasuke curiously. “Why? What are you thinking?”

“Where’s the best place to get a sword?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you might be disappointed that Sakura didn't win. But at her current skill level, I felt like her winning would be unrealistic. And she needed to lose this battle, because it's what's going to lead into her character development later on.


	9. Chapter 9

Kakashi took him to order a sword three days later. Though he made it abundantly clear that he didn’t endorse Sasuke’s decision.

“Learning a new jutsu is one thing,” he said for about the fifth time, walking next to Sasuke with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “But kenjutsu is a whole other skill. There’s no way you can master it in only a month.”

 _No_ , Sasuke agreed, recalling the long, grueling hours spent training with Orochimaru, _I mastered it in a year._

“My mother was an expert with a sword,” he told his sensei. It wasn’t a lie. “She taught me the basics before I even entered the Academy. I just need to refine my technique.”

This last part was a bit of a stretch, but it technically wasn’t a lie either. Mikoto _had_ taught him the basics of kenjutsu—in theory. She’d demonstrated the forms to him, but had never actually let him hold the sword—too paranoid her five-year-old would hurt himself like her eldest had.

(“Remember that time Itachi-kun tried to play with the big boy toys and stabbed himself in the foot?” Shisui had teased once.

Itachi’s face had turned bright red. It was one of the few times Sasuke could remember him looking embarrassed.)

Kakashi gave him an odd, almost delicate look when he mentioned his mother, but it only lasted a moment.

“I just don’t see why you need to learn it _now_ ,” he said. “We need to focus on teaching you the Chidori. _That’s_ what’s going to make a difference in your fight against Gaara. A sword isn’t going to do any damage against his shield.”

“I _told_ you,” Sasuke replied, biting down on his building irritation. “If I run the Chidori through the sword to increase it’s cutting power—”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself,” Kakashi interrupted, causing him to grind his teeth. “We’ve only just determined that you have a lightning affinity. You haven’t even attempted the Chidori yet, and you expect to be able to modify it? A shape transformation like that takes an absurd amount of chakra control, and it can take years to learn. You won’t be able to master it in a month, Sasuke. It’s impossible.”

Sasuke clenched his teeth harder. The words were unbelievably annoying to him, because he knew Kakashi was right. It had taken him close to two years with Orochimaru before he’d been able to successfully change the form of his Chidori; now he expected Kakashi to believe he could do it in a _month_? Suspicious wouldn’t even begin to cover it.

But Sasuke didn’t care. Pretending to be a weak twelve-year-old was quickly trying his patience. If he couldn’t use his Mangekyou or his snake jutsus, then he could at least use his damn Chidori the way he wanted.

He and Kakashi had spent the afternoon yesterday determining his chakra affinity. Kakashi had handed him the chakra induction paper, and Sasuke had watched it wrinkle up, asking the appropriate questions as if he hadn’t already been through this. He already knew his affinity was lightning—so unlike the rest of the Uchiha, who usually favored fire.

Kakashi had been pleasantly surprised both times, but Sasuke never had been. _Katon_ had always come so naturally to his clansmen, whereas Sasuke had had to practice all through the night to accomplish a simple fireball jutsu.

_(“Sure enough, it won’t go like it did with Itachi, huh?”)_

They’d gone through the hand signs required for the Chidori. Sasuke had fumbled with them a bit, pretending they were unfamiliar. Pretending he needed to use them, when at this point he could activate the jutsu without any hand signs at all. Kakashi had ordered him to memorize them before actually attempting the jutsu.

Being twelve again really _sucked_.

“I don’t mean that as any sort of slight,” Kakashi said to him. “You’re an astoundingly quick study, and I have complete faith in your abilities. But Konohagakure wasn’t built in a day.”

“I’ll do it,” Sasuke insisted. “One month. You’ll see.”

Kakashi’s eye curved down in disapproval. “Sasuke, you'll kill yourself with exhaustion. Some things take time. I doubt even your brother could manage—”

Kakashi halted, his words coming to an abrupt stop. Had it been anyone else, Sasuke wouldn’t have given it a thought. But Kakashi had always been one of the few people to never treat him with kid gloves; he’d never tiptoed around the subject of Itachi, had never hesitated to bring up his name in conversation. So the fact that he was being careful of it now, when he had never bothered before, struck Sasuke as being very odd.

“This isn’t about Itachi,” he said, adopting a cold tone he felt was appropriate when speaking about the person he was supposed to despise. “Stop comparing me to him. I don’t care if he couldn’t’ve done it, I'm going to.”

He felt Kakashi staring at him for a long moment before sighing. “Fine, since you’re going to be stubborn about it. But we’re focusing on the Chidori before anything else. And if you end up collapsing and land yourself in the hospital, I reserve the right to say I told you so.”

Sasuke looked up at the man. His voice was deceptively casual, his shoulders slumped and his eye relaxed, but there was still a strange sharpness to him. He had been like that all morning.

He was watching Sasuke for something. Tiptoeing around him. But for what?

Kakashi stopped in the street as they finally arrived at the correct place. It was a small, familiar stand where various types of weaponry were displayed. Sasuke must’ve passed the place at least a dozen times, but he’d never paid it any real attention.

A woman with purple hair greeted them from behind the stand. She had an ANBU tattoo on her left shoulder.

“Kakashi-sempai,” she said, smiling. “Break that tanto of yours again?”

Kakashi’s expression became slightly tight. “No,” he said, “and I thought I told you to stop calling me that.” He gestured to Sasuke beside him. “I’m here for my student. He’d like to buy a sword.”

“Order,” Sasuke corrected. “I have a specific design in mind.”

The woman turned her gaze to him when he spoke—and for a moment, her expression became stricken. Her eyes widened, flashing with recognition.

“ _Yūgao_ ,” Kakashi said pointedly, when he noticed her silent staring.

The woman blinked, quickly reschooling her expression. “Sorry. I assume you know what type of sword?”

“A chokutō,” Sasuke answered, not showing his bewilderment. _What was that about?_ “I have the design right here.”

He pulled the drawing out from his pocket, handing it to her. He had sketched it from memory two nights ago; a perfect copy of the Kusanagi.

Kakashi peered at the drawing over his shoulder. “That’s specific.”

“It was one of my mother’s,” he lied.

Kakashi got that same look on his face again—same one as the last time Sasuke had mentioned his mother. Sasuke didn’t know what it was about, but it was quickly making him irritated.

“Can you make it?” Susuke asked the woman.

Yūgao peered down at the picture, examining it closely. “I can make it,” she said. “But it’ll take me a while.”

“I need it by next month.”

She raised an eyebrow. “A _month_? A rush order like that’s going to cost you.”

“That’s fine,” Sasuke told her. “I can pay whatever it is.”

They talked for a bit longer, Sasuke specifying the metal he wanted used and the measurements he wanted (“Eighty two centimeters? That’s a bit long for someone with your height…”). Finally, Yūgao gave him an estimated price, and Kakashi gave her a cheerful wave as they left.

“What was that about?” Sasuke asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

“What was what about?”

“The way she stared at me when she saw me. She looked like she saw a ghost.”

Kakashi’s face got that _look_ on it again. His eye squinted slightly, reluctant to answer him. “Yūgao isn’t just a swordsmith. She’s also a member of ANBU.”

“I know,” Sasuke replied. “I saw the tattoo. What does that have to do with me?”

Kakashi hesitated again. “That night,” he said. “The night of the massacre… she’s the one who found you. You were laying in the street, and she realized you were breathing. She’s the one who brought you to the hospital.”

Sasuke blinked. “Oh,” he said quietly. He felt suddenly very strange. Distant from himself.

“Don’t ask me anything else,” Kakashi told him. “I’m already breaking regulation by telling you that much.”

Sasuke had never thought about what happened between him passing out and waking up in the hospital. _You were there?_ he wanted to ask. _You saw it?_

 _What about their bodies?_ he thought, remembering Orochimaru’s words to him. _What about their eyes? Did they still have their eyes?_

He swallowed the questions down, instead saying nothing. Kakashi made an aborted movement, as if to place his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, but then let his arm drop.

“Come on,” Sasuke said, forcing the subject from his mind. “Let’s get to training.”

 

 

They climbed all the way up the side of the mountain to reach their training spot. Kakashi insisted on doing it one-handed—something about Gai and a challenge he had issued.

Sasuke had forgone his usual high-collared blue shirt that day, and had replaced it with the darker colors he had worn for the final stage of the Chuunin Exam. He had also gotten rid of the arm warmers. Chidori was a jutsu that often damaged the arm when it was used, so instead he had wrapped bandages from his fingertips to his elbow as a safety precaution.

When Kakashi ordered him to perform the jutsu, he fumbled through it the first few times, purposely not directing enough chakra to his palm. His hand produced the chakra, but he pretended to struggle with changing that chakra into electricity. But after a couple of hours, he quickly grew tired of this; so despite knowing he shouldn’t be able to pick it up so fast, he allowed the Chidori to fully activate.

The sound of a thousand chirping birds filled the air. Sasuke rushed into motion immediately, flying across the top of the mountain and using his arm as a sword to pierce the rock.

Sasuke allowed the electricity to die out, the sound of chirping fading with it. Kakashi blinked at the sizable crater he had made in the wall of rock, his expression somewhere between shocked and impressed.

“That was… wow. We’ve only been training a few hours. How did you do that so quickly?”

“It’s like you said,” Sasuke replied, acting nonchalant. “I’m a quick study.”

“Hm.” Kakashi studied the crater for another moment. He was obviously suspicious about how quickly Sasuke had learned the jutsu, but Sasuke refused to be too worried. It wasn’t like Kakashi was ever going to look at him and think _time travel_ as a possible explanation. “Well, I still think you should keep practicing it. Just because you managed it once doesn’t mean you’ve mastered it.”

They practiced for a while longer, determining that Sasuke could use it three times per day with his current chakra. Three was a bit better than two, which was how many times he had originally been able to use it at twelve, so Sasuke’s extra training had obviously succeeded in building up his chakra. But it was still annoying compared to when he was seventeen, when he’d been able to use it at least six times.

Both of them exhausted of chakra, they took a break for lunch, settling against one of the large walls of rock. Kakashi kept trying to shove his sweets in Sasuke’s face, quickly pissing him off.

“Knock it off!” he snapped, wrinkling his nose. “Those things are disgusting!”

“It’s called _sugar_ , Sasuke,” he responded. “It’s something normal kids enjoy eating.”

“Well, it makes _me_ sick,” Sasuke told him, eying the dango with distaste. He was struck suddenly with a memory very similar to this one, a stick of dango being pushed insistently in his face. Only instead of Kakashi sitting next to him, it had been Itachi.

_(“Come on! I guarantee you’ll like it.”_

_“No, I won’t! Just because you’re obsessed with it—"_

_“Just try it!”_

_“No!”)_

Sasuke’s lips twitched at the memory, caught between a smile and a grimace. Noticing Kakashi watching him, he tried quickly to smother the expression.

“What is it?” his sensei asked.

“Nothing,” Sasuke told him, expressionless. “My brother liked dango, that’s all.”

Normally, Kakashi would have bulldozed right over that, not bothering to treat the subject with anything other than his usual bluntness. But again, just like before, he backed off, treating it like something fragile. Just like he’d been doing all day.

Sasuke had had enough of it. Kakashi was treating him like a bomb about to go off, and he didn’t understand why.

“What is wrong with you?” he demanded, in a way that was probably rather rude.

Kakashi blinked. “Huh?”

“You’ve been walking on eggshells around me all morning. Why?”

Kakashi paused, his stick of dango halfway to his mouth (which he’d managed to nearly finish without appearing to pull down his mask even once, seriously, how did he _do_ that?). His eye curved down slightly.

“I don’t mean to treat you any different,” he said hesitantly. Each word he spoke was careful. “But, with the date… I know today probably sucks for you, and I didn’t want to upset you.”

Sasuke frowned in confusion. “The date?” he echoed.

“July 12th.”

Sasuke felt the answer like a kick to the chest. It knocked the air out of him. _July 12th_. Was it really July 12th?

The anniversary of the massacre. No wonder Kakashi had been looking at him like that all morning.

His sense of time still wasn’t right, even after two weeks in the past. The hot weather, the blazing sun, told him that it was summer, but his head told him that it was fall. It had been October when Hagoromo had sent him back in time; and to him, it still felt like October.

The day had snuck up on him without him even realizing it. That had never happened before.

His body felt suddenly very cold with the realization—that today was the day his family had been slaughtered, and it had almost passed him by without him noticing. He set down his sandwich, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

“I’d like to go home now,” he said. The back of his throat tasted like ash.

Kakashi gave him a long look, not speaking. He nodded. “Of course. I can walk you—”

“No,” said Sasuke. “That’s not necessary.”

_I want to be alone._

He didn’t look happy about it, but Kakashi let Sasuke walk back to the compound by himself. His emotions felt strangely muted, and as he walked through the gates to the district, he looked around, remembering what it had looked like covered in bodies and blood.

_(“That’s why I’m allowing you to live. For my own sake.”)_

Usually, this day was the day when his anger was brightest. Whether at his brother or at the village, his rage sparked and caught fire easily. _Too_ easily.

But he didn’t feel that anger now. Maybe it was because, to him, it didn’t _feel_ like July 12th. It felt like October. His senses were trying to trick him into thinking it was summer, but his sense of time was stuck three months ahead.

He didn’t feel angry. He just felt… strange. Out of touch with himself.

When he reached his house, he let himself in, not bothering to take off his shoes on the mat. He remembered, quite suddenly, how he had slipped his shoes off before entering the house on that night, and the memory caused a dull pain in his chest.

( _Mother will get mad if I track dirt in the house_ , he had thought.)

How childish. His clan had been dead. Why had he cared about his _shoes_?

He slid down the wall, sitting with his arm resting on his knees. He didn’t know what he was doing, only that he didn’t feel like moving. Didn’t feel like thinking. He closed his eyes, tipping his head back.

 _I wonder what Itachi's doing right now_ , he thought.

He imagined his brother at this very moment, standing amongst the ranks of the Akatsuki. Forced to remain cold and unfeeling. Pretending today wasn’t the anniversary of the worst day of his life.

The anger came then, burning away the numbness that had settled over him. Itachi shouldn’t be there. Being forced to kill his own family wasn’t enough, they had to ask even more of him? Why? Hadn’t he given _enough_?

Resolve settled over him, firm and unyielding. He was going to expose Danzo. And then, after the truth was proven, he was going to light the man on fire and watch as Amaterasu slowly burnt his body to a crisp.

He would knock those damn Elders off their lofty pedestals. And he would get his brother back, even if he had to kill every single member of the Akatsuki himself.

 

 

 _It’s just a damn room_ , he told himself, his hand tight around the cold metal of the door knob. _Just open it. Stop being pathetic._

Standing in front of the closed door, he breathed in slowly. Just like the morning of the day he had arrived in the past. Only this time, he didn’t let himself turn away. He didn’t let himself be a coward.

_It’s just a room._

He turned the knob and pushed the door open. The hinges creaked, rusted from five years ( _exactly five years_ ) of going unused. Slowly, Sasuke stepped inside.

The room smelled musty. There was a heavy layer of dust over everything. Sasuke hadn’t been inside it for five ( _nine_ ) years, and seeing it now caused a flood of memories to hit him. He inhaled sharply.

_(“Nii-san? Are you awake?”)_

Sasuke had spent many nights in this room, curled up next to his brother after a nightmare. Itachi had always chided him that he was getting too old for such behavior, that he needed to grow up, but he had always let Sasuke climb into bed with him anyway.

Until he joined ANBU, that was. After that, Itachi had often been away on missions, and his room had been empty. Sasuke had climbed beneath the sheets of his empty bed then, struggling not to cry.

_(Don’t cry. Father will hear you, and then he’ll be disappointed.)_

Sasuke ran his hand over the sheets of Itachi’s bed, sending up dust. They were rumpled and pulled back, as if he had gotten out of bed that morning and had forgotten to make them.

The back of Sasuke’s throat burned. He turned away.

The room was very spartan in design. It always had been. Equipped only with what was necessary, and not a hint of any sort of personal touch. Even Sasuke had kept a photo of Team Seven on his dresser, but with Itachi there was nothing.

Sasuke wondered who his brother’s genin team had been—what had happened to them. Sasuke had never asked him…

_(“Hey, Nii-san? How did you get your Sharingan?”)_

Sasuke shut down that useless line of questioning, turning toward the closet as he struggled to focus on the task. It was likely that Itachi’s room had already been searched by ANBU after the massacre (once Danzo and the Sandaime had determined that their was nothing incriminating laying around), but if there was anything that they had failed to find, it would be in there.

Sasuke opened the closet. He ignored the clothes, going down on his knees and looking on the floor in the back. There was a wooden box there; Sasuke reached in and pulled it out.

He slid the lid off, coughing as the movement set dust up into his face. Inside was his brother’s ANBU uniform, untouched and in pristine condition. No sign of the blood that had had to be washed out of it after nearly every mission. On top of it sat his mask—in the shape of a cat, a single red stripe going down the forehead.

Sasuke reached in, carefully lifting it out of the box. He ran the fingers of his left hand over it, tracing a small dent in the cheek. It looked like a nick from a kunai.

It was surreal, thinking of Itachi placing this mask on his face to head out for a mission. Back before everything, when things had still been so simple.

_(“Nii-san. Would you help me with my shuriken jutsu today?”_

_“I can’t today, I have a mission. Ask Father.”_

_“Aww…!”)_

At seven years old, his brother had seemed so grown up to him. But thirteen was still just a kid.

_He was just a kid._

Biting down on the anger, on the _injustice_ of it all, Sasuke placed the mask back in the box, covering it back up. He shoved it back in the closet.

There was nothing here.

Not surprisingly, but still incredibly frustrating. Itachi wasn’t going to keep any evidence of the orders he’d been given—not when he never wanted the truth to see the light. But once again, he’d hoped there’d be something. _Anything_.

Sasuke thought back to that single piece of paper with Itachi’s signature on it—the one he’d stolen from the Hokage’s files. So far, it was all he had, and he couldn’t even with certainty say what it was. Two weeks in the past, and he had accomplished nothing.

Each day that went by was another day of history that went unchanged. Another step down the path that led to Itachi’s death.

He thought about Orochimaru’s proposal—that he help with the invasion. He’d been putting off thinking about it, because he still wasn’t sure what the best course of action would be. He didn’t want to work with the Snake Sannin—but he needed the man to stop sticking his nose into his business if he was going to focus on Itachi. He wouldn’t be able to save him if the Sannin was continuing to poke around—especially if he was involved with Danzo.

Working with Orochimaru could provide him with the proof he needed to take Danzo down—but was it worth the risk he'd be taking?

Sasuke sighed, clenching his hands. He was about to rise from the floor when something caught his eyes. A single floorboard, but it was sticking up about a centimeter higher than the others. Reaching over, he attempted to pry it up with his nails; it lifted without resistance.

Sasuke frowned. He reached down inside, feeling around. It was empty, accept for one thing. Sasuke wrapped his fingers around what felt like a wooden frame, pulling the object out.

His breath caught in his throat, a sharp pain going through his chest. It was a family photograph. Sasuke reached out to touch it with the tips of his fingers, brushing the thick layer of dust off the glass.

His father, standing tall and proud. His mother, a soft smile on her beautiful face. Itachi stood to their father’s left, and Sasuke was next to him. Itachi was looking at the camera with a thin smile, while Sasuke’s head was turned, gazing up at Itachi instead.

Sasuke winced at the pure adoration shining in his younger self's eyes as he gazed up at his brother. He remembered when this photo was taken. Not even six months before the massacre—six months before that adoration had been completely shattered.

And here the photo was—hidden out of sight, shoved under a floorboard like some horrible secret. As if Itachi had been embarrassed by the proof that he actually cared about something—that he was actually human.

_(“Even if you do hate me. That’s what big brothers are for.”)_

The back of Sasuke’s throat burned. His eyes stung insistently, and he bit his bottom lip until he tasted blood.

 _Sentimental idiot_ , he thought, his grip tightening around the picture frame. _Why did you have to be such a damn martyr?_

“Didn’t expect to find you in here.”

Sasuke startled, nearly dropping the picture frame. Quickly, he wiped all signs of vulnerability from his face before turning his head.

Kakashi stood in the doorway, running his eye over the room. “This is Itachi’s room, right?” He ran a finger over the top of the dresser, leaving a clear streak on the wood and holding up his dirty finger. “Looks like it could use a dust.”

Sasuke scowled at him. “What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded. “I thought I told you I wanted to be _alone_.”

“You did,” Kakashi said. He plopped himself down casually next to Sasuke. “I decided not to listen.”

Sasuke clenched his jaw, irritation rising in his chest. “So you decided to just invite yourself in without knocking?”

“You were upstairs,” he replied. “You wouldn’t have heard me.”

“You didn’t _know_ I was upstairs.”

“Yeah, but I knew you wouldn’t let me in.”

 _You’re right about that_ , Sasuke thought, throwing his sensei a dark look. He was really getting tired of Kakashi’s constant interference. He understood why the man was doing it, but at the same time, he also _didn’t_. Kakashi had never stuck his nose in like this the first time around. He’d shielded them, protected them, but he had minded his own business. Why was he suddenly taking such a personal interest in Sasuke’s emotional wellbeing?

He had never cared before. It was only when Sasuke had nearly killed Naruto that he decided to finally speak up.

_(“Forget about revenge.”)_

Had it been so wrong to hate the man who killed his clan? To hate the village that had given the order? Kakashi had said they were alike—but he hadn’t even tried to _understand_.

Why was he trying so hard this time?

“I know you probably want me to leave,” Kakashi told him. “But I don’t think you should be alone today. Especially not in this house.”

Sasuke clenched his teeth, refraining from snapping at him. _You didn’t care before_ , he thought viciously. _None of you did. You just tossed a seven-year-old kid right back into the house where his family had been murdered and you expected him to be fine._

Sasuke’s hand tightened on the picture frame. The corner of it dug painfully into his palm.

“I’m not leaving,” he said, speaking over the ghosts in his head. “I’m fine here. I don’t need anyone with me.”

“No,” said Kakashi, “you won’t _admit_ you need anyone. You’d rather sit in here by yourself all day, refusing to talk to people and being generally miserable.”

Sasuke looked away from him. He felt too weighed down to be properly angry, and he hated the feeling. Anger was his shield, his default setting. It was the only thing he had felt for so long; having it stripped from him felt like losing a limb. He didn’t know how to operate without it.

“Just go away, Kakashi,” he said. He stared down at the photo in his hands. At the smile on Itachi’s face. It was the same one he had worn when he’d died.

( _When I killed him._ )

Kakashi didn’t go away. But he didn’t try to speak, either. Instead, he shifted slightly so his knee was pressing against Sasuke’s, a warm pressure where before there had only been cold.

They remained like that for a long time. The silence was comfortable, and Sasuke was almost grateful, even if he would never admit it. Sasuke stared down at the picture, his head chasing ghosts. Kakashi let him, not once attempting to intrude.

Eventually, a couple hours later, Kakashi stood up. He placed a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, squeezing lightly.

“You know where my apartment is,” he said. “Come find me, if you change your mind and need to be somewhere else.”

Kakashi’s hand slipped from his shoulder, and Sasuke didn’t turn his head as he walked for the door. After he was gone, Sasuke told himself he was glad to be rid of him.

But for some reason, the house felt colder.

 

 

The next morning, Sasuke stepped out of the house and into the street. The family photograph from the picture frame had been folded up and slipped into his pocket.

Their ( _his_ ) house was located on the fringe of the district. Just to the left was the wall that served as the compound’s borderline, cutting it off from the rest of the village. On this wall, several uchiwa were painted, each of them an equal five feet apart. The symbols used to be sharp and bright, but over the years the paint had faded, leaving the impression of being very aged.

In a few places, the wall was stained a reddish-brown. Spots where the blood had never washed out.

Sasuke stepped toward one of the paper fans. This one was damaged, a large dent in the center with a dozen of tiny cracks that spiderwebbed outward. He could remember it so clearly; the bright anger in Itachi’s eyes as he’d looked at their father, the kunai slicing sharply through the air and hitting the clan symbol like a bullseye.

He’d never seen Itachi so angry before. It had been scary.

It had been the morning after Shisui’s death. Itachi had just watched his best friend throw himself into the river, and he had known what he would need to do soon. He had been grieving, finally cracking under the weight of responsibility he’d been forced to carry. His brother had been drowning that day, and Sasuke had been too young to see it.

Sasuke thought about Orochimaru’s offer—and the possibilities that it could offer. And he realized that he was going to agree. That he was  _always_  going to agree, and asking for a week to think about it had just been him giving himself time to try and talk himself out of it.

He had never liked Orochimaru. Now, knowing he might’ve been the one to help Danzo obtain the Sharingan, he _despised_ him. But if it meant a chance at exposing the truth, Sasuke would work with him.

Anything for his brother.

Sasuke stared at the symbol on the wall, a hard resolve settling over him. He remembered Itachi on his back, his sightless eyes staring up at the cloudy sky.

 _That won’t happen_ , he vowed. _I’ll make it right this time._

He reached out to touch the uchiwa symbol, tracing the small cracks with his fingers.

“I promise, Itachi,” he whispered. “This time, I’ll save _you_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I made Mikoto an expert in kenjutsu. Because I headcanon that she was secretly a complete badass (and that one of the reasons Sasuke chose to fight with a sword was to honor her).


End file.
